To feel sorry for children always late for school

[Shootingstar1115]

I’m probably going to get slammed for this. I know parenting is hard and sometimes we all run a little late at times.

As a child I was always late for school. DM was absolutely terrible in the mornings. Wouldn’t get up early, we would never be given breakfast (usually biscuits or crisps in the car on the way). I hated walking in late every day. I never got used to it. Felt like all eyes were on me and the teachers would get annoyed. I wasn’t able to walk as the school was quite far away. I still very much like this now. It’s turned me into an extremely punctual person.

Every day after taking DS to school and DD over to the pre school I see the same parents walking towards the school by this point 15 minutes after it first started and they aren’t rushing either.

We live in a village where most people live no further than a 5 minute walk away from the school. It’s a small place and most people walk (other than the few who live in the surrounding areas).

I just feel sorry for the kids being ushered in so late in the morning. It’s the same parents every single day!! It reminds me of my childhood and now being late every day made me extremely anxious. Even at secondary school I’d be late every day. I didn’t live far enough away to get a bus in but it was too far to walk. I’d be sat in the car resdy waiting for DM to get in the car.

The school have sent home letters and everything about it.

Do some people just not give a crap??

I am also chronically early / on time to everything these days.

My youngest is late for school at least once or twice a week.
Middle son (10) starts at 8.30 in a school that suits his particular needs and I drop him on the dot - he couldn’t go alone, can’t be left earlier and couldn’t wait alone.
Youngest starts at 8.55 and it’s a 20 min drive so we usually make it but sometimes we get stuck in traffic and he’s late - I’m sure parents judge I’m genuinely not bothered about the judgement of parents who fill their time by making themselves feel better by judging others.
My son knows why we’re late and is confident and doing really well at school so yes YABU, wind your neck in and shut your beak.

You know what has to be done, you get up, get on with it and get the kids to school on time. Same at the end of the day. Of course unforeseen things will crop up but the school will know the genuine ones from the others.

I think being late due to circumstances beyond your control /special needs/being unable to be in two places at once is very different from the usual types of lateness I’ve seen/children dumped by the parent at school front door looking like they’ve just rolled out of bed and not even had a brush through their hair. That’s not nice for kids

@jessebuni this is what concerns me about with my sons and being fined for repeated lateness. Not something I can afford, my youngest has meltdowns and I can't take him till he's calmed down and if it happens in the street no chance of getting him to move. He is currently being assessed for autism which the school are aware of and i have osteoarthritis of the spine which they aren't aware of and I am uncomfortable mentioning that too them as have found there tends to be a stigma to disabilities and ability to raise children. Although the school understand about my son and pastoral has said to ring in and let them know that he will be late and not to worry I still worry about this as can no longer carry him when he's having a meltdown, taxi isn't an option as can't afford it and also if he's having a meltdown they won't take him when he's kicking out and would become dangerous and just make meltdown worse. So far he's only been late once but i foresee alot more tardiness the bigger and stronger he gets as at the moment i still try to pull him along but won't be able to soon. Earlier starts aren't a solution either and trying to get there earlier. Get to school earlier than they open doors and there's too much stimulus so he becomes uncontrollable if waiting too long and meltdowns can last up to an hour or more so getting up earlier wouldn't work as don't know when a meltdown is going to occur. Don't want and can't afford the extra cost, time and stress of contesting fines in court.

Me personally I am always 10 minutes late to everything.

It doesn’t matter if I have set off on a 30 minute journey and left an hour to spare I will be 10 minutes late.

It will be that day that 3 lorries have jack knifed and I will be sitting in a traffic jam for 70 minutes

once had to be in a particular place in London at 10am

Normal journey time was about 10 minutes to tube station, park the car another 10 minutes, 40 minutes once on the tube and a 10 minute walk the other end.

I allowed 30 minutes to get to the tube station, 20 minutes to park my car, I added another 20 minutes onto the tube journey as a just in case and 20 minutes for the 10 minute walk so 2 hours and 10 minutes to do a 1 hour 10 minute journey. And for a just in case I set off 3 hours early.

This just happened to be the day when the tubes went haywire.
At one point we all had to get off the tube and I was struggling to stand on the platform. If the train had moved off a whole line of us would have ended up on the tracks.
I even hailed a cab at the other end so I could get there quicker.

I was 10 minutes late. Not 15 minutes late or 5 minutes late or 10 minutes early exactly 10 minutes late.

Even Dd who is paranoid about being late and will add extra extra time on to her journey time says that I only have to join her on a journey and the world seems to conspire against her and makes her 10 minutes late.

I agree, it is always the same parents every morning and they tend to be late for pick up too. We’re one of the only schools who don’t charge for this in the area and I think they take advantage of it. None of them seem apologetic either. It must be embarrassing for the children I just couldn’t do it to my own children and we have a long travel every day.

I was the always late kid/didn't turn up kid. Was a sign of not being looked after very well at home and not one teacher picked up on it. My own children are taken to school on time everyday fed/clean and with a kiss and "I love you". I would feel sorry about them children and be wary about how they are being looked after tbh.

Some of these comments are the reason I always hated taking my kids to school. Lots of judgy mothers standing around watching. How do people have the time or energy to notice what's going on. School should deal with it. Village shools are the worst for cliques.

How do people have the time or energy to notice what's going on.
unless you are blind, it's pretty obvious if someone is coming in the school when you are leaving after dropping your kids.

I have a boy in my class who is 20/30 minutes late most days. Has been all year. He's missed nearly every phonics lesson...not surprisingly he failed the recent Y1 phonics screening...and by fail, I mean didn't even get into double digits 🤷‍♀️. The pass mark is 32/40. He was my only 'failure' this year. Really sad! You have probably surmised that he's never heard read at home either, or does any homework. No depression/anxiety on mum's part either (family are very well-known to us). I really do feel for children like this...but there's only so much we can do.

@NorthernKnickers when is that screening done and what age? thx in advance (not in UK but returning soon and now panicking)
Sorry for derail OP

@RageAgainstTheVendingMachine it's done in June every year for all year 1 children and any year 2 children who failed the previous year. You can download copies of old ones...just google Year 1 Phonics Screen tests. There are 40 words, half of them real words, like 'few', 'queue' or 'headlight' and half 'alien' words like 'snorg', 'fraib' or 'quorb'. Children have to be able to sound them out and say the word. The pass mark is 32 (but this could change).

its The same children who are often late being picked up, looking sad and lonely at the class door. When we are driving home from school, the parent is often seen screeching up to the yellow hatched area outside the school entrance, narrowly avoiding children, so they can leg it in to collect their kids. The head teacher has even been seen having a go at them for their complete lack of respect for the safety of the children leaving. They just don’t give a shit, about being on time or school in general. They are often on class fb page saying they aren’t bothering to do the topic/homework.

I see this every day too. Don't get me wrong I'm usually rushing and cutting it fine but we're never late and my children are fed. I used to be late everyday for work though and after a while it just becomes the norm.

Some people do give a crap but are in a impossible situation you shouldn’t judge every late mum.a lot of mums probably think that of me at my daughters school but unfortunately my 2 primary school children was placed in 2 different schools 15 minutes apart and my husband works away so it makes it impossible for me to have both children to school on time as I can’t be at two schools at the same time.i understand some parents are genuinely just late everyday and yes that is awful but not everyone should be judged that’s all I’m saying

Made it to familiesonline ...www.familiesonline.co.uk/news/mum-has-angry-rant-at-parents-that-are-always-late-on-the-school-run

When I’m on my way back from dropping DC off at school I always pass the same mum rushing to school in the other direction. Literally every single day at the same spot in the road. It’s like clockwork. The catchment area for our school is only half a mile radius, so easily walkable. The kids are always nicely turned out. She always has a full face on. I don’t particularly judge but it’s impossible not to notice. And I do wonder how hard can it be to just get out of the door five minutes earlier. Maybe if she skipped the winged eyeliner she’d make it in time? It’s odd.

we were temporarily living about 7miles from DC school (flood damage being sorted).
I would make sure we were always out the door at 8.10 to allow for traffic and parking. Never late.
My job changed and DH had to drop the kids. They were always late as he cannot leave anywhere on time. He is just an appalling timekeeper.
When we moved back to our house (8 mins stroll to school), kids went on their own rather than be accompanied and late. They used to complain about how embarrassing it was to be always late.

DH just does not seem to understand timekeeping (I never tell him when things start- just when we need to leave and normally allow 15mins for him to be late) so is perpetually late if left to his own devices.

My younger son has suspected High functioning autism.
Getting him to school on time if an absolute nightmare.