Not telling dp about dd's periods

[Loveatthefiveanddime]

Not happened yet, this is hypothetical. It comes from a conversation with a male colleague at work, (for the record he is 29, childless, and very right-on).
He was saying that if his partner did not tell him when their imaginary future daughter started her periods, he would be gutted.
I argued that if a child has specifically requested that you 'don't tell dad' then you shouldn't as it is her body and her privacy?

In my case, I could imagine very well my dd saying that and actually I don't think it would be a huge deal for my partner as he would respect her privacy, but I am thinking it through now a it is probably quite imminent.

But AIBU? The male colleague was horrified, and said that a mum and dad should be absolutely united on everything and that means absolutely no secrets whatsoever.

The ones who are advocating 'sharing' girls' information describe anyone who doesn't agree as not very bright, or lacking emotional literacy.

It's all about control folks.

“Why do you keep on accusing BR of not being genuine, any more than anyone else on this thread? I don't get it Judging her by her posts alone!“

So report me. Stop the accusations and report. Or withdraw.

Can I just point out there are 2 Abso’s on this thread as you tagged the wrong one

This discussion reminds me of the ones people have on here about miscarriages, or fertility problems.

Some people are fine with everyone knowing. They feel they have nothing to hide, and want to challenge the perceived stigma associated with these things

Other people quite reasonable feel it’s nobody else’s business

I think periods are the same and I certainly think that pubescent girls have the emotional maturity to make that decision for themselves on the whole.

'zackly!

Also, as I said upthread, I think different families have different dynamics so it isn't one size fits all. What some people would consider a lovely close family I'd find suffocating and lacking in privacy. My family would seem quite detached to them, probably. We're all different.

I really don't understand the references to increased chocolate consumption. It does women no favours to say they will be moody or need chocolate every 4 weeks. How do you think males in the workplace view women when their sisters can't function without chocolate? Paracetamol or nurofen or water bottles yes but to imply a need for chocolate is pretty demeaning.

What an odd comment. Its unhealthy to censor your comments based on how you think men might react.

Dad's should meet their daughters (at least) half way, start early and give the right signals about body image, periods, etc Show an interest in her, her concerns, her questions. None of this palming it all off on the mum and then expecting the girl to be open and trusting back.

He has to show her that she will be met with openness, understanding and love.

I can well understand a girl not wanting the first conversation about her body or other intimate stuff with her dad to be about her period.

She should see a dad that, for example, is openly considerate of mum's periods, has no problem buying tampons etc

I really don't understand the references to increased chocolate consumption
It appears to be one of those stupid mumsnet tropes. I guess most forums have them.

I’m always wary of the chocolate eating thing too- it really doesn’t seem to be much of a stretch from that to “women are unreliable because they are a slave to their hormones” that we’ve spent so long shaking off.

“She should see a dad that, for example, is openly considerate of mum's periods, has no problem buying tampons etc”

Yes, this. The people who should be modelling openness and the absence of period shame are the adults in the family.