To not want to change tampons etc in front of my kids?

[cadburyegg]

I’m pretty chilled for the most part but my periods have recently returned (had 2 years without them due to pregnancy/miscarriage/pregnancy/breastfeeding). And I’m suddenly finding the prospect of changing tampons etc, embarrassing and uncomfortable, in front of DS1 who is now 4.

I don’t know if it’s because he’s a boy but I really don’t want him, as a teenager/adult, remembering his mother on her period!

How do I get around this? At home it’s easy enough to do my business without an audience, but in a public toilet not so much.

AIBU? Surely there are many women with this problem?!

My mum just told me to turn around in public toilets, I’m not sure what other options there are.

Get a mooncup.

I have 3 sons and honestly my boys don’t care and I doubt they will think about it when older. They have seen me change pads and asked questions when small, I answered and that was it. My older boys are 6 & 8 so don’t come in the cubicle/bathroom now.

Tell him to stand with his feet under the door on the other side if he is reasonably sensible and unlikely to run off.

How often would this happen? My eldest is 12 and I’ve never needed to do this in from the of my kids.

Hmmm another tampon thread?

I always made my dds stand outside the cubicle but keep a foot under the door so I could see them.

My DDs and DS were hugely disinterested in what I was doing when they were at the age of toilet sharing with me. I am certain my (now 20 year old) DS has no memory of those times. Just don’t make an issue of it...

Perhaps if he remembers his mother on her period he'll see it as the normal part of life it is and not perpetuate the attitude that it's disgusting or shameful that still seems so very common.

If you're happy to use the loo in front of them, no reason not to be happy to change your towel/tampon. It can be explained in a simple and accurate way as the ordinary bodily process it is.

Mine witnessed my period, I remember him saying I wore 'bum things' but, honestly, you're entitled to go to the toilet on your own so there is no reason for him to see you changing a tampon.

Just tell your child to turn around like every other tampon using mother in history.

I can't remember ever having to do this. If I took my kids into the public loo they would just stand outside my door , I never had them in there with me. Surely this can't be a frequent occurrence for you ?

It’s not something to be ashamed of! I would never tell my kids to turn around or stand outside. I explained everything in child appropriate terms. I think I called tampons ‘private ladies things’. How do the ‘turn around’ brigade explain the sanitary bin?!

I’m not part of any brigade, it was just a suggestion for the op. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I just used to do it quite discreetly, it's quite easy and just looks like you're wiping yourself. My dd still usually comes in a cubicle with me now as she often needs to use the loo too!

And knowing my dd asking her to "turn around" would've only led to a load of why questions anyway!

It’s not something to be ashamed of! I would never tell my kids to turn around or stand outside. I explained everything in child appropriate terms. I think I called tampons ‘private ladies things’. How do the ‘turn around’ brigade explain the sanitary bin?!

GOOD GOD!! Do let them watch you shit or have sex as well - after all normal?

I would have been frightened to see my mother pull a bloody thing from her vagina! Thank god I had a nice mother. I was brought up on Beatrice Potter etc not what your showing to your poor children.

RIP my nice mum

snurk @AmeriAnn that'd be Beatrix Potter who wrote about a goose being groomed by a fox and then nearly killed by a pack of dogs? Rat-infested townhouses? Mouse-infested doll's houses? Pigs being locked up to be force fed before being sent to market?

Somehow, I find changing a mooncup or doing a poo in front of curious and chatty DS easier than explaining Jemima Puddleduck or why Tom Kitten's mum was such a fruitloop...

@Op get a Mooncup as they're easier to deal with, and just do it in front of DS and answer any questions matter-of-factly. I utterly hated it at first but reasoned it is better for DS to know about periods than not know.

My Mum used to do it in front of me. 40+ years later I still shudder at the memory.

At 4 you don’t need him in the cubicle with you. Tell him to stand on the other side of the door, and either put his feet under or keep talking to him. 30 seconds.

So you can't shit in privacy either?

Wtf. Way to traumatize your son He is 4 he can wait outside the cubicle. Or just ask him to turn around. Yuck i can't believe you did it in front of him. Yes you should be open and honest about normal things
But there is a fine line between being open and honest and literal open and honest .
I am trying to envision seeing my mum taking out her tampon in front of me... y u c k

Perhaps if he remembers his mother on her period he'll see it as the normal part of life it is and not perpetuate the attitude that it's disgusting or shameful that still seems so very common.

This! I’ve never hidden mine from my DC and have always answered any questions they have. I don’t want any of them to believe it’s a shameful thing.

O wait
You didnt actually do it in front of him. Thank the lord.

I Apologise.