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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to give someone a lift because of their weight?

295 replies

EmmaGrundyForPM · 25/06/2019 22:23

Someone I know is struggling to get to a hospital appointment. They dont qualify for hospital transport. We live rurally so public transport is limited.

I work near the hospital and they have strongly hinted that they would really appreciate a lift there. Normally I would be happy to offer. However, this person is very overweight. I dont know exactly how much he weighs but I know it's over 30 stone. I'm concerned about whether my car can take the weight. But maybe it can? I don't want to refuse if it wont damage my car.

WIBU to make an excuse to not give a lift?

OP posts:
lottiegarbanzo · 25/06/2019 22:49

*She'd get the person to hospital (and sound extremely dutiful and martyrish about it) but not necessarily in her car.

endofthelinefinally · 25/06/2019 22:49

Being across the back seat without a seat belt would be extremely dangerous. Imagine if you had to do an emergency stop, or had a collision?

needsomesleepy · 25/06/2019 22:51

27 minutes OP has just been sitting watching...

Glitter99x · 25/06/2019 22:51

Could you ask them to sit in the back? Not sure how you would go about that without them thinking “it’s because of my weight” though Blush

endofthelinefinally · 25/06/2019 22:52

Oh dear.

Peakypolly · 25/06/2019 22:52

My DD has a Nissan Micro and her total passenger weight is regularly 65 stone - no problems so far.
(15+15+15+20)

Likeazombi · 25/06/2019 22:52

You should make him sit in the back.
I drive a small car and an adult in the front really hinders me putting on the handbrake and that is average size, 30stone I would be struggling to change gears safely.

BuildBuildings · 25/06/2019 22:53

@ofred great comment, great user name! Star

WindsweptEgret · 25/06/2019 22:54

I wouldn't do it. Its not the same as yourself and three regular 10 stone passengers as it's all in one seat.

carla1983 · 25/06/2019 22:55

I don't think YABU at all. It's your car you can do what you like. The reports upthread of heavy people damaging peoples' cars, would be enough to put me off.

Glitter99x · 25/06/2019 22:55

What car do you drive because as others have said unless it’s like a smart car it should be fine. Just say yes to them. Because if it’s not that small YABU.

MyShinyWhiteTeeth · 25/06/2019 22:55

In older cars it makes steering slightly harder and can affect the suspension in some cars. I've no idea about newer cars.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 25/06/2019 22:56

I have a small car and was once driving with someone weighing just over 100kg. The car had trouble speeding up and going up the hill.
It’s not what overall weight that the car can take, it’s about the uneven distribution.

WindsweptEgret · 25/06/2019 22:56

I would also never drive anyone who couldn't wear a seatbelt, they could become a projectile in the event of an accident.

Original poster
EmmaGrundyForPM · 25/06/2019 22:57

I don't know why people are pointing out that a car is designed to take 4 people at 10 stone each. That's beside the point. In this case all the weight will be on one corner of the car not evenly spread. I'm not sure if that will damage the car's suspension.

I hadn't even thought of whether the seatbelt will fit.

I cant see how worrying about possible damage to my car makes me fat phobic. I've been overweight myself, and I'm not making any judgement about why this person is overweight. I simply want to know if igiving him a lift is likely to cause damage to my car and no one seems to be able to answer that.

OP posts:
KennDodd · 25/06/2019 22:58

I have a one litre C1, I would worry about the weight distribution and damage to the car as well.

MyShinyWhiteTeeth · 25/06/2019 22:59

I think the damage to the suspension is due to repeated journeys with unbalanced loads.

Original poster
EmmaGrundyForPM · 25/06/2019 23:01

Why did he let him self get so fat?

I have no idea and wouldn't dream of asking him. That's got nothing to do with whether he might inadvertently damage my car. Confused

OP posts:
MrsMiggins37 · 25/06/2019 23:02

In terms of the payload of a car I can’t imagine it would be damaging.

I’m very heavy although not 30 stone and I’ve never damaged my own car and seatbelt fits fine. Cars are strong, I can’t imagine as a one off you’d have a problem

CandlesOnTheHearth · 25/06/2019 23:02

My ex boyfriend used to give his 30+ stone dad lifts to hospital. It damaged the passenger seat and the suspension.

Those taking the piss out of the OP for even asking the question might want to consider the fact that the weight of 3x 10 stone adults in the car in addition to her would be distributed evenly across the car and not concentrated in one area. It probably also depends on the car and its age etc too.

iPodge · 25/06/2019 23:03

Some of you must be driving egg whisks. Never once has my fat self had trouble getting my car up a hill or accelerating. That's definitely a new one...

MrsMiggins37 · 25/06/2019 23:03

Why did he let him self get so fat?

What a helpful contribution

Original poster
EmmaGrundyForPM · 25/06/2019 23:03

I'm assuming you'd take 3 10 stone people in your car without a fuss?

Of course I would. But they wouldn't all.be sitting on the same seat.

OP posts:
bigredvase · 25/06/2019 23:05

So ask him to sit in the back, middle seat?

MrsMiggins37 · 25/06/2019 23:05

But asking him to sit in the back may be more comfortable. Seatbelt issues notwithstanding

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