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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DH is being a bit miserable on holiday?

236 replies

TheGoogleMum · 25/06/2019 00:38

On holiday in Devon with parents, DH and baby (7 months). Its our first holiday with the baby (and parents kindly paid for the accommodation), but DH is being a bit miserable saying he doesn't really fancy doing anything and he has suggested the rest of us go out while he stays home tomorrow (he brought his ps4!). I know it's his holiday too but aibu for thinking he is being a bit miserable? Tbh I was really looking forward to spending time together as a family. Might not bother with UK breaks with him in future :s it isn't something we've done often as a couple to be fair so i guess it isnt his thing. He gets on fine with my parents so that isn't the problem. Going on walks isn't really something we get excited about so he's feeling like there isnt much he wants to do, but he doesn't really try and think of anything

OP posts:
HarmlessChap · 25/06/2019 09:15

A PS4 is in no way comparable to an iPad or kindle, don’t be ridiculous no they aren't with a PS4 you are only disconnect from the rest of the family at your accommodation but with a portable device you can disconnect at the beach, cafe, car etc. as well.

Costacoffeeplease · 25/06/2019 09:15

Snobbery? ODFOD

Quietly reading a kindle or playing an iPad game is nothing like a games console. There’s more than one way of being hard of thinking

You may not learn much from Bridget Jones but you won’t learn anything from a PS4

Costacoffeeplease · 25/06/2019 09:16

And you take over the room and the tv to the exclusion of everyone else

JacquesHammer · 25/06/2019 09:19

Quietly reading a kindle or playing an iPad game is nothing like a games console

Please share - how is playing a game on one device "nothing like" playing a game on the other Grin

People are so daft over consoles!

ineedaholidaynow · 25/06/2019 09:19

I would probably think it’s quite sad if someone went to Devon and they stayed in their accommodation playing candy crush or the PS4.

I assume the PS4 will be attached to the main tv so only really practical to play if everyone else is out.

I would do as others have suggested and do some things with your parents and other days with DH. I have been on holiday with MIL and I do need some downtime from her, but not all day

Aberforthsgoat · 25/06/2019 09:20

@Costacoffeeplease you won’t learn anything from half the iPad games out there or trashy novels like 50 shades if you’re going to be pedantic about it.

Juells · 25/06/2019 09:21

The thought of going on a holiday like that makes my hair stand on end, I can absolutely see why your husband would bring his PS. Some people don't like being all together like Brown's cows. As I said in pp, it's his holiday, why should he have to jolly around with his PiL. Perhaps he didn't want his PiL to pay for the holiday and dictate how his time off would be spent?

JacquesHammer · 25/06/2019 09:23

I read on average about 450 books a year.

I'm currently mainlining 1990s teen fiction. I can guarantee I am learning no more, nor is my hobby of anymore worth than someone playing on a PS4 Grin

adaline · 25/06/2019 09:24

Why is an iPad in any way superior to a PS4?

Costacoffeeplease · 25/06/2019 09:25

Cross posted, I’ve already explained why they’re different. Although it should be obvious

I’d rather see someone read ‘trash’ than playing console games which are often violent or have other 18+ content

Costacoffeeplease · 25/06/2019 09:26

Already explained Adaline, not sure why it needs to be though

Sirzy · 25/06/2019 09:27

But if everyone else is out it doesn’t matter if he is using the tv does it

Fairylea · 25/06/2019 09:29

“Quietly reading a kindle or playing an iPad game is nothing like a games console. There’s more than one way of being hard of thinking

You may not learn much from Bridget Jones but you won’t learn anything from a PS4“

Life doesn’t always have to be about learning things. Relaxing and doing stuff just for fun is really important too!

ineedaholidaynow · 25/06/2019 09:30

KateWrong how often do you go on holidays with your parents. From your post you seem to choose a type of holiday that doesn’t suit your DH at all.

When MIL comes on holiday with us, it is our sort of holiday and she is asked if she wants to join us (she does other holidays without us) and it is usually a short UK break.

I wouldn’t be going on a type of holiday that DH didn’t like in the first place and then add parents into the mix. Which might be what has happened in OP’s case. However, I would have thought they would have discussed this before accepting the holiday from OP’s parents.

JacquesHammer · 25/06/2019 09:30

I’d rather see someone read ‘trash’ than playing console games which are often violent or have other 18+ content

And there is literally nothing to suggest the OP's partner is doing that in front of other people....

If everyone else is out, why does it matter if he uses the TV.

It really is nothing but snobbery and a real lack of willingness to think.

JacquesHammer · 25/06/2019 09:32
Celebelly · 25/06/2019 09:32

you won’t learn anything from a PS4

Wrong! My DP often comes out with weird bits of knowledge that he's got from games! It's a running joke now that whenever he knows something I don't expect him to, I ask what game he learned that from Grin Games now are like interactive films. It's moved on a bit from Tetris.

Fyette · 25/06/2019 09:35

You may not learn much from Bridget Jones but you won’t learn anything from a PS4

Games improve our reflexes, mental health (unless to the level of addiction, obviously), literacy, spatial awareness. Gamers, for example, make better drivers, and console gaming has a positive effect on the elderly as well, improving and retaining their cognitive function more than traditional board games. Seriously, check out some peer reviewed science on the effects of gaming. Your ideas are old-fashioned fear-mongering, and unsubstantiated. People used to say the same about reading (gasp) novels.

Midsummer2019 · 25/06/2019 09:36

ah leave him to it. My DH is the same and will say 'you go of and I'll just do my own thing". no point in making him do stuff he doesn't want to. Let him enjoy his PS4.

PeoniesarePink · 25/06/2019 09:36

Dear God pack his bag and send him home on the train.

Or take the PS4 on a family walk and throw off a harbour wall ..........

Nothing less attractive than a grown man who needs to game. Ugh.

Costacoffeeplease · 25/06/2019 09:40

The very fact that he took the console means he planned to either monopolise the TV/living room, or opt out of the holiday by staying in alone.

Way to be an adult right there

Lotuslots · 25/06/2019 09:40

Look I may disagree with many others. Why cant he take a day. We all want to take a day. Obviously this means you get to take a day. And he has to go along with that. But all adults want to take a day. But only you can decide if it is fair.

adaline · 25/06/2019 09:41

Right @Costacoffeeplease but if he's alone why does it matter if he's playing 18+ games on the TV?

Staying home to play video games is no worse than staying home to watch trash TV/have a bath/read a book/sleep.

Costacoffeeplease · 25/06/2019 09:41

Games improve our reflexes, mental health (unless to the level of addiction, obviously), literacy, spatial awareness. Gamers, for example, make better drivers, and console gaming has a positive effect on the elderly as well, improving and retaining their cognitive function more than traditional board games. Seriously, check out some peer reviewed science on the effects of gaming. Your ideas are old-fashioned fear-mongering, and unsubstantiated. People used to say the same about reading (gasp) novels.

And he needs that on a week’s family holiday?

JacquesHammer · 25/06/2019 09:42

The very fact that he took the console means he planned to either monopolise the TV/living room, or opt out of the holiday by staying in alone

Way to be an adult right there

And if he wants to stay in alone for ONE day that's an issue because...

Why, on a holiday, isn't an adult allowed some down time?

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