Parents want inheritance back

[NeededtoNC]

Ten years ago, my parents decided to gift me and my brother 100k each as early inheritance within the 7 year period.

With that I bought a house (with a mortgage). Still have 15 years left on the mortgage.

Now our parents want the inheritance back because they have decided they want to buy a summer home abroad.

DB is in a position to be able to as he’s well off.
However I am not and I’m barely able to keep up with the mortgage payments as it is.

In order to give back the money I’d need to sell. My parents are aware of this and have said that if I need help to pay rent, they’ll give it to me. But they want the lump sum in order to buy their holiday home.

AIBU to not give it to them?

I agree with the No, I am not selling my home replies.

I would also add that your parents could ask your brother for a loan, to be repaid by his inheritance on the main property.

I am astounded by this, poor you. They all sound like arseholes

DB may have ringfenced this money expecting shenanigans from them. Your parents sound like poor financial planners, impulsive too, it's the wrong time to buy a holiday home!

OP - PLEASE LISTEN.
Do not fall for the “you’ll get it back when we die.” There are a million reason this will not happen, but the most likely is that they will need care and the money will be used for that. The fact there may be NO inheritance sounds like it will not affect your brother but if you give up your home now, it will ruin you. DO NOT give up your home. If they’ll fall out with you over this, they may fall out with you over something else because they’re petty people, and then they will stop paying your rent as well. And maybe go check out the Stately Homes thread. It definitely sounds like you belong there. You maybe have the dynamic: your brother is the golden child, you’re the scapegoat, and your parents INSIST they’re nice people who love you and these aren’t power plays... but they are.

so you should be selling your house and become homeless ( maybe) so they can have TWO houses???
you know the answer... fuck no

I actually would sit down with them and say you are worried about their impulsivity and what about healthcare abroad in extreme old age. And say that had you realised they would do this you would not have depended on the money for a home, but you have spent it.

I'm totally WTF with this. NO WAY!!!

The only way I can get around it even vaguely is by reframing in my mind your original use of the money.
What if you'd used it to start a business that was now the sole income you had? If returned the money would gut your business and you'd have no source of income to support your family? No way COULD you give it back. No WAY should you be expected to.
Frittered it away on holidays, education , cars etc ? No way COULD you give it back. And tough luck, cause it ain't there.
So my conclusion is No.
And No.
And more No.
They are still making bad financial choices for themselves without adjusting their expectations of lifestyle. You will never see that money again.
No.
Don't do this.
If your DB is so mighty on himself , he can bask in the glory of saving your parents asses in their unrealistic desire for a holiday home to the full tune and wank on to friends about how he owns a holiday home in X, and how useless his sister is not being able to afford on. Asshole.
.
NO. FUCK NO. HELL NO.NO FUCKING WAY.

^

Yes. Everything @Wakeupalready said.

No!
if they need money then they can sell their own bloody home!

If they can't get the mortgage why doesn't you DB get it in his name and they make the payments? That's what my DP's did to buy their summer home.

By the way, YANBU.
Get angry.

No. If your brother has given them the 100k back they actually have enough money to get a place. Supposing they need 20k for expenses that leaves them with 80k, which leaves them able to buy a one or two bed by the sea with shared pool. Eg 2 bed www.rightmove.co.uk/overseas-property/property-61797729.html?currencyCode=GBP in Fuerteventura. Or www.rightmove.co.uk/overseas-property/property-63116489.html?currencyCode=GBP, a 3 bed detached rural property with small pool 25 mins drive from the local town and a hour from Grenada and Malaga.

200k would be better but half that is enough. Stand firm. Say no. You cannot put your financial future on the line for their second home.

Can't believe what l just read. How awful. What are you going to do?

"'I'm sorry but I don't have £100,000 to give to you and I can't sell my only home to do so".

YANBU They Abvu.

It's wonderful your dB can afford to gift them money to buy a second home now but irrelevant to your situation. And you'd be crazy to let FOG cause you to make yourself homeless. It was a gift without strings 10 years ago, one you were grateful for, likely paid taxes on and it's done. It's not their money.

Please be aware that the "you'll get it back later /we'll pay your rent" is a false/ dodgy promise not one I'd bet my financial future on.

Not only would they more likely to incur inheritance tax on their assets and whatever rent gifts you get at 40%, should they pass away in near future, but also should either need carers at home (let alone residential care?), LA charging policies are such that a second property is NOT disregarded on financial assessments. They'll be full cost for all care support. Even If they tried to give you a lump sum later on, they'll fall foul of deliberate deprivation of assets, down to £23,500 left each of their assets (not quite to all of that if one stays living in their one disregardable home as that value might be protected for a while). All of this is a moot point as you don't have £100k to gift them yourself.

Morally, if they lost the only roof over their head, I'd be trying to think of any way to help them out a bit if I could but not in this scenario. No decent parent would ask this of their DC , for a holiday home.

If they can afford to pay rent, then they should take a long term rent on a holiday home. Or buy under one of those part buy, part rental schemes.

Keep saying no. It’s them who are unreasonable.

Could they be experiencing early signs of Alzheimer's. There is no way that you should give up your home, it would probably cost far more to rent a similar home now than your mortgage. Also Brexit is affecting the housing market so you would not get as much back as you might have a few years ago.

IF (and I don't think you should be obliged to) you wanted to engage with the plan could you extend your mortgage on your current property and take out another mortgage on a shared holiday home with DB. That way his money could be ringfenced as his name could be on the deeds, you could contribute some and they might be able to contribute some too. It would be a financial drain and would prolong your mortgage. It would mean that you were financially tied to these idiots too. Having said that it is another option. I personally would just refuse but I know it isn't always that simple.

Was all the paperwork regarding the gift drawn up by a solicitor? Is there anything in the paperwork stating that your parents can ask for the money back if they want it?
If not I would imagine you'd have a legal case for not returning the money - although I'm not a solicitor so probably talking out of my arse.
The whole point of a gift of money is that you don't have to give it back!

Your parents sound like bullies OP. As others have rightly said if they need care later on the money will go on that and you will see nothing. To be honest reading your posts they in the words of MN sound unhinged and need care now.

Maybe they should be considering starting the process of giving you and your DB Power of Attorney!

Who would see their DD lose her home so that they could have holidays? Bizarre.

To give you a perspective about how quickly their money will be eaten up, should either of them need carers at home at say 4xdaily, that could easily £500+ to pay those carers full cost from their second property. You could be talking £52,000+ a year burnt through from the money you gifted them within 2 years that they won't be allowed to return to you even if they'd stayed living at home. And that's not even if both end up going into residential care, as assets in their first home value goes too then. They cannot promise you an inheritance like that as no one knows what will happen in the future with their health & disability.

@Jocasta2018
For money laundering purposes, mortgage provider at the time very likely would have asked for a letter confirming it was a gift without strings. Solicitor /financial advisor would have done so too if they used it as a way to avoid inheritance tax. As it wouldn't have been disregarded under IHT otherwise if parents had somehow retained a beneficial interest in that gifted money or in OP's property. It would be only IF they had put themselves on the deeds as owning part of OP's house, which sounds unlikely given how OP described it and against their intention to save on IHT at the time.

Quote "They’re saying that I’ll get the money in the end anyway when they die so I would be able to buy my own home then. I hate it when they say that. It makes me feel really awful."

Impossible to say this, what if they both need to go into care? The money would soon be gone.

I think your parents sounds horrible people. You just don't ask for gifted money back.

Horrid people.

*£500/week = £53,000 a year. Sorry missed out the "week" bit.

*£52,000 I meant!

But if it were gifted to you...then it's yours.
I could even kind of understand if it was going to keep a roof over their heads, but it's for a second home.
Yanbu....unless theres more to this?

I would investigate trying to give them something and then go no contact. And let them know you will be doing that too. Look into remortgaging to a lower rate, extending the term etc, either way could enable you to sour e some funds, even if it is just 20k it's something.