To feel envious of people that can afford holidays?

[Ella1980]

I'm a full-time TA and my fiancé works in social care ft. Just feel so sad that we can't afford to take the kids away. Ex earns £105k+ pa so at least they'll get a holiday with him. Anybody else in a similar position? It just feels so unfair but I feel selfish for feeling jealous of not getting a break with the family 😢

My sisters been has 4 holidays This year yet constantly moans at how broke she is, I haven’t had a holiday in 10 years so it’s annoying listening to it. My kids have never been on holiday either.

@BigRedLondonBus I hear you! I'd be OK with it if my fiancé and I weren't in work etc but we both work ft yet still not doable!

I do go on holidays now because our financial situation allows it, but for many years we couldn't afford it so I totally understand how you feel.

It used to make my blood boil when people said things to me like 'of course I have to have my holiday, it's lovely that it doesn't matter to you but I couldn't cope without one'. Well, I found it hard to cope without a break too but I bloody had to because there was no money left over once the bills were paid.

I hope your situation improves. It sucks when money is tight.

Do you live in an expensive part of the Country? Is there no way that you can tweak your finances so you can have a holiday every few years?

There's always going to be people who have more money, but there are also people who live with a level of debt or do without stuff that you have, to be able to afford to go away.

Yanbu op. We can’t afford a holiday either. It’s shit

If dc are away with ex during weeks that you are off (assume that as a TA you are off in holidays) is there anything that you could do in those weeks and ringfence for a holiday?

@isabellerossignol This will be the way it is forever as we both don't earn much sadly. I'm a qualified teacher but couldn't mentally face returning to a job that made me so unwell. I'd rather my kids had a mum-albeit a skint one-than no mum at all! It is so hard though and I feel like a complete failure as a parent.

I think it's ok to notice that someone else has something that you'd like, but it's definitely not worth spending time / headspace on in a negative way. Can you save up for a couple of days out?

Our big holiday this year is going to the I laws for a week.

Really sick of people in work asking me where I'm going this year. I do a very convincing job of spinning the line that the kids are too young to waste a holiday on.

Except then there'll always be one who brought little Dylan to Las Vegas at 18 months old and "he looooved it!"

We're still in rented as not enough money to get on housing ladder. Just moved from mouldy two-bed to better three-bed. We pay £900 pm.

Your situation will change though. When your youngest no longer requires childcare you could use evenings to tutor either online or face to face. It is really hard now, but it can change.

Social worker lowest end of scale £30-£40k, TA £8-10k £900 rent, you can afford a cheap holiday if you save. Why not take on some private tutoring for a holiday fund.

It’s also really really frustrating as a TA because everyone else goes on about how amazing it is having 6 weeks off ( five and a bit in reality). And then you have no mone6 to enjoy them.

Does you ex not pay a decent amount of maintenance?
Have you tried Hoseasons? You can get a caravan mon- fri in summer for approx £350.

Thanks all. I guess I probably have huge anger at my ex and that plays a part. No maintenance as 50:50 (court enforced) and he's just spent £40k+ on a car and a hot tub!

@TheHandsOfNeilBuchanan He's not a social worker, he works in social care.

OP, what about setting up a babysitting business working in the evenings during the holidays (and maybe one or two nights a week during termtime) if you're a TA? Surely there must be a market for this 🤔.

I suppose I'm trying to think of a second job that you could do when you're not tired from working full time, and when your partner would be able to look after the kids. Or your partner could get a second job?

Looking longer term though, is there any possibility of you or your partner increasing your salary?

YANBU. It's shit and unfair.

We’ve not been on holiday for 10 years, since before m DS was born. I don’t think it’s that unusual is it? We do camp but that’s not really a holiday. There’s no way we could even afford a caravan for a week. Both work full time in pretty responsible positions but public sector so our earnings are relatively low

@GreasedPiglet I will look in to holiday work. Don't think I'd be able to do it term time though as I work 8-4 as SEN Support with very high needs child and I love it but it's exhausting! Also I am mindful that only having my own kids every other week I want to see them when I can too 😊 But yes, could think about something in hols. Thank you.

We're still in rented as not enough money to get on housing ladder. Just moved from mouldy two-bed to better three-bed
You just moved into a nicer house to make their lives better. Don’t be so hard on yourself!

We went on holiday last year, which took me 2 years to save for, was looking for next year but no way can we afford it, so it's back to saving to go in 2021, and by saving I mean a tenner here and there, things will improve Op, not sure when but it will x

Surely if your ex earns £105k you get a decent chunk of CM each month ? could you use some of that?

I think you should make the most of the training and skills that you have from working in SEN support, and think about offering SEN childcare.

Aim high - set up your own company if you can (or if you need to), and don't undervalue what you'd be offering. It really sounds like the kind of service that lots of parents would love.

you would hate us we dont work but are 24 hour carers to 2 disabled children so our money comes from that and truthfully its a lot per week between the 4 of us but i take it that we deserve the money as we dont even get 1 hour off and no one professional is involved with either child or no school for them to go to

we go away every 4-5 weeks but dont do term time or summer holidays as the price triples and there are to many around for the kids to cope with and as we home educate we dont need to

they are not abroad holidays but we have done disney christmas a few times,its usually park dean,haven caravan parks and butlins christmas and as its term time its not stupid money

we do mon-mon which is cheaper than sat to sat

we are off on our 6 holiday this monday