To feel envious of people that can afford holidays?

[Ella1980]

I'm a full-time TA and my fiancé works in social care ft. Just feel so sad that we can't afford to take the kids away. Ex earns £105k+ pa so at least they'll get a holiday with him. Anybody else in a similar position? It just feels so unfair but I feel selfish for feeling jealous of not getting a break with the family 😢

Being a TA is only a part-time job, so it will only be paid part-time wages. You need either a better paid job or a second job or a side hustle of some kind. I TA and tutor at the moment. I have also TA’d and had a weekend job and an online job.

Definitely consider tutoring on the weeks where you don't have your children....

For many parents having a tutor each week is too much money, so bi weekly would be a real pull.

OP states that her partner works in 'Social care' , not as a' Social worker'. There is a big difference in pay between the two. Social worker is earning about 35-40 thou a year and a Social care work is lucky to earn 22 thou a year.

Is it OK for me to work a 37 hour week and then another job but my fiance only works 9-5 Mon to Fri on also a low wage?

I hear you OP.
On paper we earn a decent amount, but in reality our outgoings are only just covered. Every time we save a couple of hundred quid, a big bill/car costs swallow it up (despite us following Martin Lewis to the letter).

So many friends are jetting off on holiday, we'll be lucky to get a free week with relatives for a change of scene.

OP, could you distance learn for a new career that pays better and that you actually want to do? Student loans aren't too unbearable when you're earning again and you only pay back when you meet the threshold. I'm fairly certain it's only your income that's taken into account when applying, not your partners. There's lots you can do if you work for yourself.

I'm fortunate that I work from home when the kids are asleep. We can afford holidays, not always abroad though. I take the hit on sleep for the sake of having luxuries. Kids go to bed between 7&8 and I work until 2-3am some nights then up with them between 7&8am. I'm 29 and could retire now if I sold my businesses. I grew up with no holidays at all and well below the breadline. I have the view that if you don't like something, change it. It's never to late to give yourself a new chance or a fresh start. Only 6 years ago I was struggling along on benefits and starving to make sure my kids were fed and clothed.

With the time you have away from the kids there's a lot you could do with it if you're ambitious enough.

I never went on holiday growing up. I never feel like I missed out. We don't go now as a family. Holidays are lovely but it's ok if you can't go.

@sage46 You're spot on. He's incredibly bright but messed up at uni so no degree. He earns about £22/23k pa. He does an awesome job but no aspirations to progress really!

We'd never be able to go abroad with the kids as ex has told them "They'll die if they go on a plane." Wish I was joking.

When you say holiday, what type of holiday are you after? There are cheaper options. We have had fantastic holidays in Europe at campsites I the May half term. It makes for a cheap holiday for 5 of us. It was less than £1k for all 5 of us and would be cheaper in a tent instead of the caravan we tend to go for.

Is it OK for me to work a 37 hour week and then another job but my fiance only works 9-5 Mon to Fri on also a low wage?

He could get a second job; but who has the higher earning potential? If it's you, then if you want more money you should work in the professional job. If it's him, well then he should do the same. Or you carry on as you are but accept that you can't afford a regular holiday, same as many low earners.

Everyone has to make choices. Unfortunately both you and your partner have chosen low paid jobs. No doubt there are pluses but the negative is little spare money.

I was a Teaching Assistant and am now just a clerk in an insurance company; the work is actually very interesting but no stress. My pay is 25% higher than the TA job, I have a great pension, annual bonus and 28 days holiday a year which is enough now my DC are older. There is plenty of scope for promotion should I want it.

Why don't you have a look around? Just because you were a teacher doesn't mean that you can only look at education-related roles. There are lots of interesting jobs out there that pay more than you're likely to be earning now.

Would supply work pay you more? You could then do as many days as you want.

@PJMasksGhekko
I think the difference is you only have one dc. You shouldn’t have to struggle though.

I just booked our first family holiday in what will be 6 years when we go next year. £5k

Will most likely be another 6 years before we go again!!!

Do you have shared children?

I go on a lot of holidays/trips away. Probably 14 last year and 5 so far this year including Disney. I suppose it looks extravagant when you say it like that but, we camp. We stay in caravans. We stay in hostels. I book months and months in advance, I painstakingly work out the cheapest route, the cheapest dates, I use every voucher code available, I research absolutely everything.

If I just went on to the Thomas cook and booked whatever they were offering me, we would have had 1 holiday.

I’m sorry you’re struggling OP. I do agree with some PPs that resenting ex won’t help you feel better, so I hope you can find some acceptance for your own sake.
Look into working at holiday clubs in the school hols (presuming you split weeks with ex you could work weeks ex has kids). As PPs say tutoring too.

Social worker lowest end of scale £30-£40k

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

@TheHandsOfNeilBuchanan goodness that made me snort, lowest end of the scale, you must be joking. I started on £21k not all that long ago. £40k is senior social worker wage.

Anyway as OP said it’s social card, and yes that’s generally very poorly paid for what you do.

However OP, you have some invaluable qualifications that you could look to use elsewhere, maybe tutoring as others have suggested. Have you thought about FE?

I’ve also found that I’ve been able to put together really cheap deals using Expedia, but appreciate in your position with your rent at £900, that may also be out of reach.

When I was a kid my parents could never afford a holiday, we never really went anywhere, but I always fancied camping. We couldn’t do it because one of my parents was in poor health, but maybe your kids would love it?

I would also recommend what other posters have suggested about tutoring. I know many teachers and ex teachers who tutor for 11 plus, SATs as well as obviously GCSEs and A levels. Its great money especially if you are doing 1 to 1 tuition. You would be using your teacher training and experience too.

I always get envious when someone describes a wonderful holiday!

But actually I'm in the position to go on great holidays and travel a bit so I can't complain.

On a practical note..... holiday is a pretty broad term...what do you mean by it?

A week in the sun abroad might be out of reach. But if a few days in a random foreign country is your idea of a holiday, then it's doable.

Check out cheap flights on Ryanair. If you can be a bit flexible, you can get to various places for less than 25 quid return. Most places have very cheap accommodation, like hostels. Eating can be as cheap as you like.

You could easily visit a European city for 2 or 3 days for £100-150 per head, cheaper if you really try.

Often those sorts of trips are the best and also sound far more impressive to other people!

Yes I would definitely feel envious and I do when I look at people that manage to have 2 or more holidays a year. The thing I enjoy the most about holidays is not being in some far flung country but being able to spend time together without interruptions/stresses of home and work. Some of the nicest times we have had as a family have been where we have grabbed a couple of nights camping or youth hostelling. It doesn't have to be a fortnight in Greece or Spain to be a holiday. Do you think something like that might be more achievable? Have a look at camping pods if you can't borrow all the gear.

@Contraceptionismyfriend Do you mean myself and fiancé? No we don't sadly. No chance as I'm 38 and we're skint! He doesn't have any.

If you're looking for cheap holidays try PGL. My kids did them when they were younger and loved them. They have lots of offers and deals on. I know someone who couldn't afford a family holiday, but she was able to send her kids to PGL and felt that at least they had some holiday memories.

I get that you gave up teaching I have also done so and nothing would make me go back to it. However neither would I work as a TA just because I think it’s so underpaid for the work involved. If you are unhappy you need to do something about it. There are jobs outside of education which are better paid than being a TA. It might not be as difficult as you might think to find something else.
Personally I think you are wasting energy on being jealous of others. You need to use that energy on improving your situation