To think 8 is far too young to be at the park alone?!

[MummyWallflower]

I've just come back from the park. I decided to take my son to the park for a quick run around before bed. Shortly after getting to the play park a boy cycles up to us and starts playing with my son. I looked around for his mum but couldn't see anyone. Waited another 5 minutes and still no-one. At this point I decided to get my son to ask him some questions...

Turns out this boy is 8 and in Year 3 at a local school. I enquired if his mum was there and he said no, she is at home. We then played for a bit before I subtly asked if he lived locally, come to find out he lives a street away from us. I then left with my son and encouraged the boy to come with us, he proceeded to cycle in the middle of the road! My immediate thought was road safety so I said we should all cycle on the path. I then watched him cycle and go back to his house safely.

For the record, we live 5 minutes from the park, so it is very local and safe. This boy had no qualms about talking to me and my son; I could've been a predator or pedofile. He also was cycling in the middle of the road, which of course could lead to him being injured or hit by a car!

AIBU that it is completely inappropriate to allow an 8 year old boy to cycle to, play at and then cycle home from the park alone? Particularly as it was 6.30pm so already getting late. I do know the school he goes to so I am considering reporting this to them in the morning. AIBU?

AbbyHammond - they arent 15! Way younger - more year 6/7. I just found it interesting how different areas are.

There will be a reminder in that school''s next newsletter to encourage children NOT to follow strange adults home

Maybe your child doesn’t have enough sense

Wow, that's a bit passive aggressive

Not really, it was in response to the op saying -

An 8 year old doesn't have enough sense to be out alone.

Strange how these sort of threads are always the only ones under the OP's current name

My 8 year old goes out to play... to our park in our housing estate and most kids there are unsupervised and of a similar age.
Stranger abductions are very very rare usually only one or two in every generation and I believe the freedom, independence, exercise, fresh air and fun outweighs this tiny tiny risk... most abductions are by people known to a child... grooming is much more common that stranger abductions.
Do not contact the school... it's such an non issue and by taking the child out of the park you put yourself at risk- how daft!
His parents know their child better than you and deemed it safe and reasonable!

I was about 8 when I used to go to the park (a very secluded park in a very dangerous country) on my own with a bird book and binoculars and sit and make notes on all the birds I could see. I've always been a party animal.

I would never let my son walk to the park alone but most of the parents in my village do. It’s a pretty safe place I guess. No through traffic, food community spirit but I can’t help the ‘what if’ part of me.

There’s a girl in my sons school. She’s about 10 now but for a few years she has wandered everywhere alone. We would often visit the park and she would already be there and hang around with DD and DS. Also Sometimes she would spot us walking to the park and ask to come with us. I felt really uncomfortable because I don’t know her mum (she walks to school alone to so never seen her mum).

An 8 year old doesn't have enough sense to be out alone

I seem to remember me and everyone I knew playing out at that age with no problem. A child will be too immature to do it if you never give them the freedom to practice. I don't quite buy the "it depends on the child", either. When I grew up (and I'm only in my 20s) the vast, vast majority of NT children were able to play out by themselves. I'm fully aware that children are different from one another but, given the opportunity, virtually all children can develop the necessary skills to play out safely.

There’s a girl in my sons school. She’s about 10 now but for a few years she has wandered everywhere alone. We would often visit the park and she would already be there and hang around with DD and DS. Also Sometimes she would spot us walking to the park and ask to come with us. I felt really uncomfortable because I don’t know her mum (she walks to school alone to so never seen her mum).

So this might be concerning, not because she's out alone at the park playing with the neighbour kids, but because it seems she's not happy or maybe even able to go home herself when bored - is there something wrong with her homelife that escaping is her best option - or does she just like to be out.

That's the kid to maybe talk to the school about, not the one who can safely navigate the 5minutes to the local park and play with the kids he meets.

Shhh don’t tell OP I used to get the public bus to school myself at 5. We played within hearing distance of the house from about 3. definitely in the park at 8... I’m also not NT.

If we treat kids like we can’t trust them or like they don’t have enough sense to do what i’d consider normal childhood things, then we create a self fulfilling prophesy and we raise kids with no sense, that we cannot trust. Independence alongside their confidence needs to be gained in small age appropriate steps.

I’m more concerned that OP felt it appropriate to question a young child in a play park then make him follow her home. She could
Have been anybody 😂

It’s not like he was making chit chat with a bloke wanking in a bush

This is gold

You are overreacting hugely. I am just imagining the call you'd make to the school. 8 year old playing in park at tea time in summer

Good opportunity for the "maybe I just care about my children" posters to come and play though!

I’m more concerned that OP felt it appropriate to question a young child in a play park then make him follow her home

Yeah I'd be reporting that!

If you are so concerned with the child being abducted.Why did you get him to leave the park with you.
There was only 1 adult,you.Who got your child to get all the information out of another child.Thats dodgy as fuck.

OP you really need to read “The Coddling Of The American Mind”. Wrapping kids in cotton wool really is not good for them.

It wouldn't bother me. I don't think the not talking to strangers business has been seen as good advice for a long time has it?

Plenty of 8 year olds going to the park round here. Maybe to meet friends if they are there? If not they're not. No drama.

14 year olds get abducted too.
Presumably your 14 year old won't be out without you, it's just not worth the risk.
Actually young adults also get abducted.
How old will your child or adult be when the risk is zero?

Totally normal round here, op!
Don't like the cycling on the road bit though.

YABU. Are you also going to add that the park is actually on the cliff's edge, and the 8 year old was walking along it with his eyes closed? Get a grip, and mind your own

I admit it's never occurred to me or my 8 year old daughter that she'd go to the park by herself. However at that age I'd definitely be out playing 10 or 15 minutes from my house with no adults. It was normal then. Everyone did it. I find it sad that kids are wrapped in cotton wool these days.

Totally normal in my village. Most YR3 kids walk to school alone. My DD goes to the shop alone (she is 8). She also walks up the main road (still a quiet road in small village) to my sisters every morning to get a lift into school (they go to a school 2 villages along as it isn’t Welsh language). The village all know who the kids are and help them if they need it.

So what you’ve done is enticed a child to walk home with you (a stranger) thus lowering his barriers to doing it next time with someone who might be not quite so honest in their intentions towards him because it worked out fine last time. Well done you. How bloody idiotic are you - good god. I am marvelling at your lack of intelligent thought over this one.

Are there alligators and crocodiles in the pond? And zombies manning the ice cream van?

I'm really surprised reading this thread, my DS is 8 in August and I would never have thought he'd be ok out on his own, I think it will be a long while yet before he goes anywhere by himself.

OP - there’s been a lot of pisstaking - but on a serious note, don’t involve the school. You’ll make yourself look silly. You have overreacted. The reference to Myra Hindley was absurd.

Fwiw I don’t think you did anything wrong in asking the boy to fall into step with you and DS given that you were going in the same direction. It’s not like you dragged him by his hair.

The thing is though september your child is 7, not 8 (and if he’s in Y3 then he’ll be nearly 9 so an entire year older than yours so see how you feel in a year. If he’s not ready then that is fine too but it doesn’t mean others aren’t sensible enough to be allowed out alone. If you are of the paedophile on every corner school of thought then when does that stop - 13, 16? Kids mature at different rates and we as adults have a responsibility to help them be safe whilst walking a path to independence.