To think 8 is far too young to be at the park alone?!

[MummyWallflower]

I've just come back from the park. I decided to take my son to the park for a quick run around before bed. Shortly after getting to the play park a boy cycles up to us and starts playing with my son. I looked around for his mum but couldn't see anyone. Waited another 5 minutes and still no-one. At this point I decided to get my son to ask him some questions...

Turns out this boy is 8 and in Year 3 at a local school. I enquired if his mum was there and he said no, she is at home. We then played for a bit before I subtly asked if he lived locally, come to find out he lives a street away from us. I then left with my son and encouraged the boy to come with us, he proceeded to cycle in the middle of the road! My immediate thought was road safety so I said we should all cycle on the path. I then watched him cycle and go back to his house safely.

For the record, we live 5 minutes from the park, so it is very local and safe. This boy had no qualms about talking to me and my son; I could've been a predator or pedofile. He also was cycling in the middle of the road, which of course could lead to him being injured or hit by a car!

AIBU that it is completely inappropriate to allow an 8 year old boy to cycle to, play at and then cycle home from the park alone? Particularly as it was 6.30pm so already getting late. I do know the school he goes to so I am considering reporting this to them in the morning. AIBU?

I couldn't do it at 8? Maybe 10-11 but not 8 just not worth it you've got dickhead drivers about, people that just shouldn't be out and about like drunks it's just all a bit mad atm. We was out a few weeks in some water fountains and some street drinkers that lurk about decided to strip of and get in and throw water over all the kids just absolute odd ball people

I could cook dinner when I was 8, and walk to school and make tea/coffee. Playing in the park was rare, more likely to be up a tree or in the woods. Lots of children are fine to do this.

@isabellerossignol look at child abduction cases. James burger. The soham girls. The little girl (cant think of her name) that was on her bike and was taken all in daylight.

And when I said a lot I meant most abduction cases.

My 8 year old goes to the park alone. We are lucky and our house faces a huge field and park. DS is allowed to play outside as long as he doesn't cross any roads!

YANBU. My DS is only 5.5 but i can't see me allowing him to go on his own at 8. For a start he's an only. I'd be happier if he goes with friends.

Way too young.

I've only just started to let my 11 year old go to the park by himself. He will walk there to meet a friend or he is allowed to go with a group of friends after school. I usually pick him up.

Also it seems poignant to mention at this point, directly next to the park is a housing centre for ex-prisoners. A few have taken to camping in the woods within the park and there are rumours of them dealing and taking drugs there.

Is it really worth the risk though? Letting them have a bit of independence is no good to them if their one of the unlucky ones. I'm sorry but I care too much about my children's safety, but I guess not everyone's like me.
I don't understand why you'd risk it 🤷🏻‍♀️

I'm really surprised at these responses! I have a year 3 child albeit it still only 7 (birthday in a couple of weeks) Its never occurred to me that she would be old enough to bike to the park which is 2 roads away on her own. I dunno maybe I need to rethink our boundaries.

It’s not like he was making chit chat with a bloke wanking in a bush.
Quote of the thread 😂

Actually no I dont need to rethink. She is to young to be on her own. So many horror storys I'm not risking it. Also OP I would have done exactly the same as you.

Also it seems poignant to mention at this point, directly next to the park is a housing centre for ex-prisoners. A few have taken to camping in the woods within the park and there are rumours of them dealing and taking drugs there.

Jesus Christ...just no. What if a child found a used needle? or God knows what else...Shudder

Oh and there's the drip feed. Daily mail, sun or express OP?

@redvelvet6 do you drive your children in a car? Car crashes are far more common than abductions, but most people consider them an acceptable level of risk.

You’ve left your tap on OP.
Drip, drip, drip

8 feels very young for my kids. My nearly 10 year old us only just allowed to do this and only with a group. And under pretty strict instructions not to engage/go with with strangers or even people we know (for th reason posted previously)

I was going to schOoh on my own and the park etc at 8. But it was a big estate with loads of kids kind of self regulating and if you fell over someone would go and get your mum. Everyone was kind of looking out for each other, kids and parents. We don’t live in that kind of estate but if we did I’d have no hesitation in letting mine out in ever increasing timescales from 8.

Funny how now we’ve all said the OP is being unreasonable the park is full of drug dealers

redvelvet that's four in the last thirty years. Five under eighteens died at the Manchester arena. We can't avoid everything that might kill us, or we become so worried about dying that we forget to live. It's not a good lesson to pass on to kids.

What difference does the drip feed make though? I only know that piece of information second hand from another parent, otherwise I’d have no clue. Once I actually looked for it I noticed it myself (the tents). Otherwise I’d have been oblivious! Unless you are vetting the park every time before your child goes, how do you know there aren’t drug takers, drinkers, strange people there?

A few have taken to camping in the woods within the park and there are rumours of them dealing and taking drugs there.
Not so relevant it was worth mentioning in your OP though?

When I was younger there was a girl abducted in Broad daylight, she was playing on the green next to her house. She was 10. Later found under her "uncles" floor boards. These things happen, she was a year above me in school. Did it wrap us all up in cotton wool? No it made us play louder, in bigger groups, look out for each other. At 8, 5 minutes away from home isn't a big deal

Also it seems poignant to mention at this point, directly next to the park is a housing centre for ex-prisoners. A few have taken to camping in the woods within the park and there are rumours of them dealing and taking drugs there.

Massive drip feed and you are still be unreasonable.

do you drive your children in a car? Car crashes are far more common than abductions, but most people consider them an acceptable level of risk

But we try to minimise risk. So in a car, we drive sober, wear seatbelts, don't talk on the phone. A way to minimize the risk of your child being harmed whilst in a park is to accompany them.

I’d want them out in groups though, safety in numbers, not on their own. And cycling safely.

Drip feed matters because it’s gone from an 8 year old playing at the local park to an 8 year old playing in a drug den with pedophiles.
Fwiw I know loads of kids age 8 who go shop, school and park on their own.