To think 8 is far too young to be at the park alone?!

[MummyWallflower]

I've just come back from the park. I decided to take my son to the park for a quick run around before bed. Shortly after getting to the play park a boy cycles up to us and starts playing with my son. I looked around for his mum but couldn't see anyone. Waited another 5 minutes and still no-one. At this point I decided to get my son to ask him some questions...

Turns out this boy is 8 and in Year 3 at a local school. I enquired if his mum was there and he said no, she is at home. We then played for a bit before I subtly asked if he lived locally, come to find out he lives a street away from us. I then left with my son and encouraged the boy to come with us, he proceeded to cycle in the middle of the road! My immediate thought was road safety so I said we should all cycle on the path. I then watched him cycle and go back to his house safely.

For the record, we live 5 minutes from the park, so it is very local and safe. This boy had no qualms about talking to me and my son; I could've been a predator or pedofile. He also was cycling in the middle of the road, which of course could lead to him being injured or hit by a car!

AIBU that it is completely inappropriate to allow an 8 year old boy to cycle to, play at and then cycle home from the park alone? Particularly as it was 6.30pm so already getting late. I do know the school he goes to so I am considering reporting this to them in the morning. AIBU?

IMO:

Sensible 8 year old, going to a nearby park in daylight hours- fine.

8 year old cycling on a public road without a supervising adult- risky. 8 year olds aren't really capable of judging traffic speed or being generally careful and responsible enough.

Had you kidnapped your own child that you were at the park with??

YANBU

Yanbu

I do know the school he goes to so I am considering reporting this to them in the morning. AIBU?

Do you think that schools have nothing more to do than get involved in perceived problems out of school, they have enough to deal with. If you must try and foist your parenting standards on others then choose somewhere else.

I live about 2 minutes from a park and I walk past it daily - the only i time parents is with children who are under about 6/7 otherwise it’s just all children quite often there is no adults at all in the park. It can be seen from about 20 houses though and we are in area where most people know each other a lot of he children are friends of mine children etc and will speak to me when I pass

Yabu.

You don't know how far away the park is from the little boy's home.

If it's only a few mins away and a nice area (and if the boy has had a talk from his parents regarding agreed time to come home, safety, strangers etc) then I really don't see the harm.

I can't believe so many people think the OP is BU. I would not let my 8 year old go to park on his own, or even with friends, and neither would any other the other parents of children in his class. And we live in a 'nice' area.

When posters ask if it's ok to leave their 8 year old home alone whilst they do the food shop, it's always a no.

Sorry, tired and not reading the post properly. So it turns out you do know how far away the park is from the boy's house and you still have a problem with it? I'm sorry op but you're being ridiculous in my opinion and I'm a former teacher so I've worked with young children (as well as an 'over-protective first time mum' as others have described me!).

The whole situation is not only a fuss about nothing but also none of your business.

Are the people who are all fine with this the same people who thought a mother shouldn't allow her 15 year old daughter to walk in woods 15 mins from her home alone (threads passim). Because if so, I confess to being perplexed by the entirely different tone this thread about an 8 year old has taken.

YABU

Of course you're not being unreasonable

There are some weirdos on this thread, that's all

Of course you're not being unreasonable

There are some weirdos on this thread, that's all

Really? You think people are weirdos for suggesting it is absolutely not ok to try and take an 8 year old child from the park

Whether we think it's ok or not for an 8yo to be in the park alone it certainly isn't ok to do that.

I disagree with many parenting decisions other people make, that doesn't give me the right to intervene.

I have an 8 year old son and no way would I be letting him go to the park on his own. I’m quite happy to be told I’m wrapping him up in cotton wool. At least I know he’s safe

I was 8 when I was allowed to start going out on my own, I knew my way round and knew where some other kids lived. I was meant to stay within a particular area really, but it was never actually specified and it was only the once at that stage that I cycled to town and back just because I could.

But I was proficient at cycling and wore a helmet and wouldn't cycle in the middle of the road.

My kids are different and one could have started going out on her own at that age if we had lived somewhere safe enough, but my current 8 year old is not usually allowed to go, even with her sibling, because she has behaviour problems.

It's down to the individual child, whether they're alone, and where you live in my opinion. Some places are safer than others. Some kids are more ready than others.

@thewinkingprawn year three is 7 turning 8, not nearly nine. My year three just turned eight.

My DC went to our park which is just up the street at this age. They had watches and to be fair, went in a small group with the eldest being 11. I wouldn't allow a lone 8 year old simply because if they fall or something, then it's awful for them.

YANBU, No way is 8 old enough or responsible enough to be out unsupervised and parents saying it is are just willing to risk it for some time without their kids in the house. I've taught for nearly 20 years and not met one 8 year old who should be allowed out unsupervised due to both the ability to deal with unexpected situations, stranger danger, accidents, awareness of street dangers etc. In a 1-2-1 situation fine demonstrating in front of parents fine, with friends all excited or on their own it all goes out the window. Too young for this level of responsibility.

YABU. the kid was out during the early summer evening when it was still light. Yes he spoke to you but you had a child with you.
He was a road or 2 from the park and probably had strict instructions to go there and come back again without a detour, not to go off with anyone and to scream like blue murder if there are any problems.
We always tell the kids they can talk to people with kids who talk back to them.

Stranger danger is an out of date concept these days. Aren't we supposed to talk about "icky people" ie those who make them feel uncomfortable and try to get the child to keep a secret from their family?

For all you know his mum might have seen you arrive at the park and think it was a safe bet.

And no. Never ride on the footpath. That is against the law - even for kids. You have to ride on the road or a cycle path if there is one. Of course some sense is required but actually riding in the middle of the road is safer than riding on the edges because it means cars will see the child and have to stop to avoid them. Whereas they won't see anadult, let alone a small child of they are riding along on ththe edge.

I'm always amused at the different approaches we have across the western world to freedom of children.
This thread reminded me that in Switzerland kids as young as 5 usually walk to school / back home without their parents present.

hijenny35
As a teacher I would have expected you to have a better knowledge of child development and the knock-on effects to a child not allowed to develop age appropriate risk management, resilence and self reliance.
You are confusing an education authority desire to avoid potential litigation with what actually is good parenting.
No wonder so many teens s and young adults suffer from anxiety nowadays because thecotton wool generation have not been allowed to gradually develop independence and an ability to cope with things as previous generations have done.

In the village I grew up, or in my current neighbourhood, I'd no issue with an 8 year old going to the park alone.

In some of the rougher areas I've lived in, I likely wouldn't have allowed it.

I’d never do it and we have a park very close to our house too. My DC would probably look at me like I was bonkers if I told them they could go alone .

So what you’ve done is enticed a child to walk home with you (a stranger) thus lowering his barriers to doing it next time with someone who might be not quite so honest in their intentions towards him because it worked out fine last time. Well done you. How bloody idiotic are you - good god. I am marvelling at your lack of intelligent thought over this one.

This

Cycling proficiency now teaches children to cycle in the middle of their lane, towards the right, when cycling because they are more visible and it discourages people from overtaking unsafely. Obviously, if a car approaches they need to move over.