To think 8 is far too young to be at the park alone?!

[MummyWallflower]

I've just come back from the park. I decided to take my son to the park for a quick run around before bed. Shortly after getting to the play park a boy cycles up to us and starts playing with my son. I looked around for his mum but couldn't see anyone. Waited another 5 minutes and still no-one. At this point I decided to get my son to ask him some questions...

Turns out this boy is 8 and in Year 3 at a local school. I enquired if his mum was there and he said no, she is at home. We then played for a bit before I subtly asked if he lived locally, come to find out he lives a street away from us. I then left with my son and encouraged the boy to come with us, he proceeded to cycle in the middle of the road! My immediate thought was road safety so I said we should all cycle on the path. I then watched him cycle and go back to his house safely.

For the record, we live 5 minutes from the park, so it is very local and safe. This boy had no qualms about talking to me and my son; I could've been a predator or pedofile. He also was cycling in the middle of the road, which of course could lead to him being injured or hit by a car!

AIBU that it is completely inappropriate to allow an 8 year old boy to cycle to, play at and then cycle home from the park alone? Particularly as it was 6.30pm so already getting late. I do know the school he goes to so I am considering reporting this to them in the morning. AIBU?

At 8 I was regularly playing in the park and in the summer virtually lived there, would also go into town on the bus. To the swimming baths and on the train to the beach with other kids from the street.
From 5 we took ourselves to school, crossing with the lollipop man

What sort of road? I'd be fine on a typical road in a housing estate and cycling mid-lane implies he's done a cycling skills course or learnt its lessons. The road between me and the local park is two or three lanes each way and full of speeding maniacs, so I'd expect any child to cycle on the pavement or walk and use the crossings.
Sounds like many local Y3 and 4 kids starting to be independent, going to nearby parks. Ds was too scared to cross roads then but started at 9 and by 10 could walk 20 min home across a dozen roads.
Without knowing the park and roads in question we can't say anything useful.

My 8ytr old can go to the park 5 minutes without an adult. He has a few rules to stick by to try to keep him safe but I think it's important he gets a little bit of freedom. Although we do live in a fairly safe/quiet area...there are no druggies in the woods.

He always goes with a friend never alone. He has a GPS watch so I can check where he is, he can also phone me on it and I can phone him. If he's moving location to somewhere other than we've agreed e.g to a friend's house or garden he must phone and tell me where he is going. He has a set time to be home and he knows if he doesn't come back on time he cant play out the next day.

A car crash and a bombing is a little different than willingly sending yours on its merry way to the park for anything to happen to them. Op said he was in the road. That's why kids shouldn't be allowed to roam free..their kids.
You want your kid to enjoy the park, go with him. Sounds like lazy parenting.

Yeah, I thought so too riotlady. Bit of an oversight, not to mention all the ex prisoners lurking in the woods with their drug dealers in the op.

I'm surprised you go at all, OP. What use do you think you'll be against a gang of wood-dwelling thieves and drug addicts?

“Poignant to mention”

Actually though I always feel really out of touch on these threads, as most people rush on to say they let their 8 year olds out alone all the time. I bloody wouldn’t as I live on a quite busy road near an even busier one and, well, I just don’t like kids hanging round parks or outside Tesco or etc. I can’t help it.

YABU. My eight year old DD walks to and from school herself. She’s also in year three. Maybe your child doesn’t have enough sense but that doesn’t mean other kids don’t. The child in question didn’t come and start talking to you, he started playing with your child.

@formerbabe a way to minimise the risk of your child being unable to socialise/negotiate and play without adult supervision/interference is to give them some independence.

OP if you suspect drug dealing and criminals probably best you don't go to the park either. Ffs.

People camping are more likely to be homeless.

Drug dealing takes place everywhere.

YABU on the park visit by self, yanbu on the bad cycling habits.

My ds was 8 when he was allowed to park. No roads to cross etc. I take my toddler and there are often 3 and 4 Yr old alone in the park I know they live across the green from the park.. Maybe 15m
But wayy too young imo
8 I would. Say depending on how the child is and how responsibile.

Oh please, such drip feedy bollocks.

Although it doesn't change my mind at all. There are kids younger than 8 living with ex-offenders, drug addicts and dealers. Child Services don't take them all into care, they wouldn't have the homes. So yes, I'd still allow my child to go to the park.

I'm stunned that you thought it was ok to take him away from the park. I will ask again, WTF did you do that for?

That's why kids shouldn't be allowed to roam free..their kids.

That’s exactly why I think they should be allowed to roam free where possible. Let them have time to play and mess around without an adult constantly hovering 10 feet behind them.

Maybe your child doesn’t have enough sense

Wow, that's a bit passive aggressive

I thought i lived in a nice area but im genuinely surprised how many 8 year olds are out alone in the evening. Its not the risk of murder but dont you all have 'gangs' of slighlty older kids shoplifilting, petty vandalism, smoking and so on that you just woukdnt want your child hooking up with.

Although not as passive aggressive as the poster who said that maybe she just cares about her children, implying that other parents don't.

If you haven't heard, child abusers the shit kicked out of them in prison, so ex-offender doesn't equal more risk. If they are taking or dealing drugs, they won't want any trouble that will bring the Police, any unknown men will be moved on swiftly.

redvelver6 the Bulger case was a one off, while he was with his Mum. The others all knew the perpetrators.

There's more children killed by babysitting relatives, than are even injured, playing out. Ask a male relative to babysit and statistically you are putting them at great risk.

OP he did know how to protect himself, he refused to go with you.

Children vary and some eight year olds are equivalent to an eleven year old.

Also, children vary in terms of bedtimes.

Mine played out and took themselves to school, at that age, as i had done. I think they were more independent for it.

a car crash or bombing is a little different than willingly sending yours on its merry way to the park for anything to happen to them

How? They're just as dead. The point is that if we teach them to avoid all risk they'll never actually live. Do we want to teach kids that a very unlikely negative outcome should stop them pursuing an activity?

Yabu. We lived five minutes from the park and my dc were allowed there after school in the summer without me there. DS never wanted to go, DD went from year 3. One zebra crossing and a time to be home by.

Obviously if it was across a dual carriageway and 15 minutes away it would be different but really what you described is fine.

I guess it depends where you are to be honest. I live in London (not the poshest of areas) I wouldn't let my 12 year old out to the park alone but up in Yorkshire for example is where most of my family live and they have all ways been allowed out at the age as it's perfectly safe.

I do know the school he goes to so I am considering reporting this to them in the morning. AIBU?

Don't report it to the school, you'll only make a holy show of yourself.

Grasspigeons - somehow I don't think gangs of smoking 15 year old shoplifters are going to be that keen on hooking up with 8 year olds to talk about minecraft and act out pokemon

I know my eldest, at 8, was not savvy enough to be out on her own like that. I also know that some of her friends were. I wouldn't think anything of them being at the park at 8. It strongly depends on the child.

Yeah yeah course there's a big nasty building full of evil baddie druggie types right next to the park
Are there alligators and crocodiles in the pond?
And zombies manning the ice cream van?