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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I dumped him (nicely) wibu?

192 replies

BustedToaster · 23/06/2019 19:03

'You're only the 3rd person I've ever been inside' - said to me whilst dtd!!!!!! That little gem came from a 54yo man I've been dating for the last month. It was an unwarranted bit of info. I was like wtf?????Hmm Who talks like that? Instant passion killer. He was doing ok until that point. It was the 'been inside' bit that really put me off.

And if that wasn't enough, he had a collection of over 50 pairs of winklepickers Shock - yes really. And he bought me 6 pairs of lacey white stockings to wear.. bleurghhhh. Tell me I'm not alone & that that'd make your toes curl too.

OP posts:
SimonJT · 23/06/2019 20:14

I’ve only had one, certainly no complaints from him at all. Someone could have a really high figure, but if there are a lot of ONS they aren’t really exploring what does and doesn’t work. I sometimes use the inside me/you line, but I do think the way this guy did is a bit creepy.

WipeYourFeetOnTheRhythmRug · 23/06/2019 20:14

"is it worse saying you've been with a lot of people or a few people?"

Do you need to even say? I've been with DH for the best part of 20 years and we've never mentioned a number or even a vague approximation.

I had a boyfriend who used to ask if I wanted to "do rumpy pumpy".

NO.

ILiketheNiceCereal · 23/06/2019 20:15

😂😂😂😂

I'm sure there are plenty shades of grey between those extremes! Grin

SimonJT · 23/06/2019 20:15

Sorry meant to tag @Trebe in my post above.

TroysMammy · 23/06/2019 20:16

I'm just under 5ft and was once told whilst dtd "you're just like a schoolgirl". WTF. How did a man in his 40's know what it was like shagging a schoolgirl?

Trebe · 23/06/2019 20:18

@TroysMammy now that is fecking creepy.

SeasideSoul · 23/06/2019 20:19

Rumpy pumpy 😂😂 genuinely laughing at that!

My husband used to say rogering. I refused to go near him until he stopped saying that ridiculous word!

Trebe · 23/06/2019 20:21

@TroysMammy, not you being under 5 foot that is lol.

Belenus · 23/06/2019 20:21

Not only sounds like a passion killer but an expectations killer to. How the hell would anyone know what they are doing with a woman if they have only been inside three? The third person 'I was inside', probably laughed with her friends about my performance in bed.

IME how good someone is depends on a lot of things, but not really their prior number of partners. The most mechanistic sex I've had has been with men who have had a lot of experience with a lot of different women so think they are brilliant, but they aren't. The best sex I've had has been with someone who genuinely cares for me and for whom sex is meaningful.

is it worse saying you've been with a lot of people or a few people?

Why would you say? I don't need to know. I want to know what someone is like with me, not how many previous partners they've had.

And on the OP's topic. The relative lack of previous partners wouldn't bother me. The timing of the statement would. The winklepickers wouldn't bother me. White lacy stuff? Alongside the other stuff? Dear god no.

Trebe · 23/06/2019 20:23

@Belenus that depends if we're 'banging' or 'making love'. I'd argue there is a difference.

Bluntness100 · 23/06/2019 20:25

I wondering if Steve knew he was saying that stuff out loud, or if he thought it was just in his own head,🤣

Original poster
BustedToaster · 23/06/2019 20:25

I'm pmsl at Steve...Grin

OP posts:
Trebe · 23/06/2019 20:28

Poor Steve just needed a bit of comforting re-assurance. Pat him on the back half way through and say well done Steve, what a good Steve. I bet he'd stop doing it pretty quick.

ImThatGirl · 23/06/2019 20:29

I dated a man older than me around 2 years ago (15 year age gap so not huge) and when we broke up he told me almost those exact same words, so made me chuckle reading this Grin

Sundancer77 · 23/06/2019 20:37

😆😆😆

PickAChew · 23/06/2019 20:41

Ugh.

My ex would tell me "it's all for you." Envy

Gwenhwyfar · 23/06/2019 20:43

"Even if he had lots and lots of sex with the two previous women, not all the 'tricks' work the same way on different women. "

Right, so having slept with 50 women wouldn't necessarily help as every women is different.
OP wasn't criticising the guy's lack of experience - you're the first person to have done that.

Trebe · 23/06/2019 20:43

What I've learned as a man about sex in this thread.

Keep my god damn mouth shut in bed.

ILiketheNiceCereal · 23/06/2019 20:44

Very true.

Trebe · 23/06/2019 20:47

@Gwenhwyfar I was talking about my own performances in my younger days of sex more than anything. Thought I'd made that clear.

However I suppose it really can be true of most men to. If you were asked who you think would be better in bed, a virgin or someone who has been with 10 people, I'm sure who you'd guess.

My point was every woman I have been with has been different and it took me time to figure out what was pleasing to a particular woman and when I was pleasing her. The when bit is quite a tricky thing to understand in my experience.

KarmaStar · 23/06/2019 20:49

Yanbu!!that's awful!
I misread it at first and thought it said "I've ever seen inside",I had this awful vision of him wearing some thick glasses peering away....I'll let you work out the rest😀🙈🙉🙊..teach me to read without glasses on!!

MyShinyWhiteTeeth · 23/06/2019 20:50

SeasideSoul Fuck.... I think I know Steve!

It can't be the same one?

Short, 47-48 with strong accent and unusual hidden birthmark?

TheInebriati · 23/06/2019 20:51

Does Steve encourage himself in...other situations?

Like when he's cooking?

Gintonic · 23/06/2019 20:53

This thread is hilarious, and I am imagining the man to be the husband from Friday Night Dinner ...

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 23/06/2019 20:54

Dying laughing here at Steve 😂😂