I want to go grey, but DH says no!

[KindleAndCake]

Who is being unreasonable?
I'm in my 40's and fed up of the constant dying of my hair. I've said I'm going to stop, but he says no. He really doesn't want me to. I've pointed out that he is going grey, but it seems it's one rule for him, and all that.

Out of interest, does constant dying your hair make it go grey quicker?

bing what's wrong with you that you don't like the sight of other women? Do you really look at other women and think 'urgh, she looks terrible'?
If so it says way more about you than about their hair choices.

Did you mean ex dh in your title?

It would really bother me if my DP said this to me, because what he's saying is he doesn't want you to look older, but we're all getting older. It doesn't do much for a person's self esteem potentially to have your partner saying that this isn't attractive to him. Personally I've been noticing a lot of women with really fab grey hair lately of a variety of ages and thinking how great it looks.

I really don't like to see women under 50 with grey hair. I just don't. I think it is very ageing. And that's my opinion

@bingbongnoise , are you male? I'm struggling to understand why you care what women under 50 do with their hair.

You're also being very patronising to S1naid.

Tell him that you find all the hair on his arse and balls very off putting and he should get waxed.

I have awesome grey witch stripes growing - two actual stripes in the hair at my temples . I am my mid forties , and keep getting this - ooh you're too young to go grey bullshit.

All the blonde streak rubbish makes my face look like a tomato half the time, and going dark costs too much for the upkeep and I need to wear a ton of makeup to balance it out.

I like the grey near my face. It makes me look younger than having an obviously dyed mop on my head does , as it works well with my skin tone and I am fairly wrinkle free.

I have just booked an appointment with a new hairdresser who is happy to made the stripes a feature and do something else less harsh with the rest.

Tell your DH to stay in his lane.

I think that most of the time, talk of grey hair ageing people is directed at women. Men are often told it suits them, makes them look distinguished, etc. We really do have double standards as a society.

Me? I'm 50, and for years dyed mine brown to hide the grey that was coming in from when I was 20 (family trait). I started growing the grey out a few years ago and liked it. But now I simply have it bleached white blonde. I do because I like the colour, and have it done by a professional so my hair is still in pretty good nick. I'm not trying to hide grey or to look younger, I just like the colour.

I think attitudes are changing a lot though thankfully. I see a lot of women going grey with their hair at all kinds of lengths and looking great with it (in "real life" as well as in the media).

Ahh distinguished !! that is the word!

I genuinely think women with grey hair also look distinguished and I'm actually kinda looking forward to it!

I love grey hair on women now everyones dying their hair silver its great

Tell him to get stuffed

I'm just starting (literally a hair here and there atm), but my plan is to let it happen. Really not sure I can be doing with the faff of home dyes, and I don't like going to the hairdresser at the best of times (obv I do, as often as my hair needs cutting which is every three months or so to maintain current cut, but I find it a drag and certainly don't want to spend more time there).

Grey hair is actually really cool and bang on trend right now.
I would love to be grey/silver but i m reddish brown and thats not going to bleach well.
Yanbu. Its your hair not his.
My friend is 51 like me and her hair is nearly white. It looks fantastic and no it doesn't age her

I'm livid that you have to ask that q. It's your body, your hair, your choice. Why would you do it because he wants you to. Tell him where to go or even better, that you'll continue to dye your hair as long as he dyes his neon pink also. Seems fair since you "want him to". Fair compromise. What a .

Your hair, your decision.

That said, I dye my hair myself once a month. Never takes more than half an hour while I watch telly or whatever.

Do what you want, it's not your husband's decision.

I know a woman whos all grey at 70 and shes stunning!

@Justaboy

I know a woman whos all grey at 70 and shes stunning!

Of COURSE a woman of SEVENTY who is 'all-grey' is stunning.

A woman who is 'all-grey' in her early 40s however. Nope.

I am NOT male and I do not HATE women as a couple of posters have laughingly suggested; but I AM entitled to my opinion. And that is that grey hair on women under 50 does not look great and is very ageing.

'What is so bad about ageing' someone asked.

Nothing.

But I object to looking 55 if I am in my early 40s. I don't mind looking MY AGE, and most people do, but I do object to looking a decade older.

If other women are happy to, then crack on!

But I am still entitled to my views and opinions, whether you like them or not.

And as for the laughable comment 'why do I care?' Jog on. This is a discussion and I am adding my opinion. If you don't like it, that's not my problem.

Of course he’s allowed his opinion and preference but it’s not up to him to say ‘you’re not allowed’ It’s YOUR hair and you make the decisions. FWIW I had long blonde hair when I met my DH it’s gone to a short bob to a pixie to a crop and now I have a number 3 all over. He’s honest that he doesn’t like it when I ask each time after coming home from the hairdressers but it’s never brought up again and doesn’t change anything between us and he still fancies me. I wouldn’t ever grow it again for anybody if I didn’t want to, going grey would be the same.

I ditched the dye at 47... and haven't looked back. Now 51 I currently have long hair which is brown with wicked white streaks running through it. White at the front (long side fringe) and streaked throughout. It's in great condition . I don't look OLDER... I just look what I am, a slim, healthy 51 year old with natural hair.
I don't think dye fools anyone into thinking they look younger... often it looks harsh (especially box 'one colour' dye) but hairdressers have a vested interest in keeping the expensive colouring going.

I did ask dh if he minded... he pointed to his balding head and grey beard and said ' I'd be a prat if I did!'

Oddly only today I was complimented on my hair colour.. 'those highlights are cool!' Nope they are just mine.

If you want to go grey, just do it, The grow out is painful but the freedom is fabulous!

Bit defensive there aren't you?

You sound angry. I wonder why.

Ehh? Do you always accuse women of being angry when you’re accused of talking shite? Do you not like getting called out on it? Is it easier to assume that a woman I’d defensive or angry, rather than admit that you were wrong? I wonder why.

*is defensive or ...

Do what you like. Your dh has an opinion and has expressed it, but that's all it is - an opinion. It's not a Papal Bull.

Envious of you. My hair is barely grey, one or two hairs but that's it. I'm 62 and demand grey hair!

I did mention it to my hairdresser 2 cuts ago, and she was really against me going grey too. She said I'm too young

If you are already grey then you aren't too young to be grey. That is just weird thinking.

I noticed my first grey hair at 17 and I stopped dyeing my hair at 46. I have lovely grey hair and the most amazing white colouring around my face. It's not just grey but pure white and I love it. My hair is also in the best condition its ever.

been. The end.

I started going grey when I was 44. My hairdresser said I was 'brave' but decided she liked it. DH was fully against but our marriage was not in a great place and so I really didn't want to keep dyeing my hair to keep him happy. He is fully converted and likes it now. Our marriage is also doing better! My mum also wasn't keen. She's also got used to it and in dint think people really notice the grey anymore, it's just my hair colour. I get way more complimented than I ever did when it was dyed dark brown though. It's a lovely platinum grey naturally and I love it. I think what I love most is not looking in the mirror a week after dyeing it and seeing the roots already, and feeling anxious that it's really obvious so who am I kidding anyway, and every day despising my appearance because of the grey, rather than embracing it. Go for it OP. You will not look back! (And DH Erik gradually get over it).