I want to go grey, but DH says no!

[KindleAndCake]

Who is being unreasonable?
I'm in my 40's and fed up of the constant dying of my hair. I've said I'm going to stop, but he says no. He really doesn't want me to. I've pointed out that he is going grey, but it seems it's one rule for him, and all that.

Out of interest, does constant dying your hair make it go grey quicker?

No way will I let my grey hair show through. I am middle aged, and I had bits of grey starting to come through at around 42-43, and I started dying my hair then. Maybe I won't give a shit when I'm 65, but in my middle age, not even 50 yet, no way.

I agree with the posters saying grey is rather ageing. It's OK if you're say, over 65, but being grey younger than that is quite ageing. Some women look OK with grey hair, if it's styled/cut nice, but I have yet to see a woman with grey hair who doesn't look at least five years older than she is. They never look younger.

I know some women on here say they are happy to be grey, even in their 30s, but I can count on the fingers of one hand, the amount of women under 50 I know, who don't dye their hair... (And even the 3 or 4 I do know, are in their mid 40s. None any younger than that.)

As for the OP's husband making the comments, and saying 'NO'.. I think if your husband is demanding you do (and don't do) as he says, then you have bigger issues than whether to have your grey hair grow though!

I don't know if it would bother my DH or not. It's never come up as I have never let the grey show. I don't think he would care to be honest. But I do. And that is why I dye it.

I have yet to see a woman with grey hair who doesn't look at least five years older than she is. They never look younger.

Ok well I look like a teenager which is really infuriating at this point in my life, so this is more reason to let me greys shine

Well he has to look at it more than you do. He is just expressing an opinion. Would you rather have a man that doesn’t notice?
I would take what he says on board and tbh.....I would carry on making the effort

@Kezza8 your hairdresser has a vested financial interest in you continuing to dye your hair.

Obviously you can do what you want OP.

To the posters who comment about everyone in their 40s dying their hair some people aren't grey, even people with dark hair. I haven't dyed mine for over 10 years but people often assume I do .

Why is it so important for a woman to look younger than she is? Why is it such a bad thing for a woman to visibly age?

Do the black women on this thread all straighten their hair? Where we live people are stopping perming their hair straight and younger women are letting their hair go grey. I was speaking to a woman yesterday who is letting her hair go natural too, we’re both early 50s and no one could accuse us of letting ourselves go. No way anyone would think I’m 60 or even 55 but I have grey hair.

You don’t have to dye your hair to “make an effort”.

wowfudge My hairdresser is my friend and she cuts my hair, she has never, ever dyed it. So it is her honest personal opinion. She has no vested, financial interest.

I'm still grinning this morning, every time I think about a woman letting herself go grey being the equivalent of a fat husband sitting on the sofa covered in crumbs.

There aren't many women in their early 30s that are happy to go grey or even have grey hair.
I've been going grey since I was 14 so Im about 40% grey now at 33.
I'm embracing myself as I am and enjoying the things that are unique about me at the same time as saving money and time id rather spend on other things.
I do think learning about feminism has influenced my decision to go grey, as well as just giving less of a shit what people, especially men, think of me as i get older.
I've got a young face, I'm tiny and immature, I don't think my hair ages me.

Thankfully I don't have a husband to cast his opinions on my appearance, and I do like to think my grey hair will repel the sort of men I won't like if I'm ever on the look out for a relationship.

Grey is good. I think anyone who is scared of grey hair is terrified of death. It must be a horror of mortality.

hairyhands i think it's actually the fear of being "unfuckable". The worst fear for most women