To think most women hope for a baby girl?

[Rowennaravenclaw]

I know, once the baby is here, we love them and wouldn't change them for anything, whatever their sex.

But before the baby arrives, I think that the majority of women want a daughter. If you google gender disappointment, there seem to be way more hits about wanting a girl than a boy. I think it's probably natural, seeing as we have all been little girls ourselves and so imagine them to be a known quantity, and people tend to be drawn to what is familiar. Of course it changes once the baby arrives and we get to know the special person they are.

So, controversial, but AIBU?

No you don’t have to dress girls in pink, but there is a lot of it about so hard to avoid altogether.

Equally boys’ clothes are mostly sludge coloured. Poor DS2 loves bright colours, I do my best but he still ends up in a lot of navy, grey and khaki.

@FionasWineShow its comments like that, that prove my point....

Nonetheless. It seems odd that you'd opt to hang out, virtually, on a pretty much exclusively-female website, given that we're such horrible bitches.

I work in a female dominated environment. It's fun, supportive, professional. A great place to work.

Maybe it's you. I mean, seriously. I ask you a legitimate question, after you've just denigrated my entire sex, and I'm the unkind one...?

I've never had any problems with girls/women, and I went to an all-girls' school, have great women friends and, as I say, work on a female dominated environment. Quite the opposite.

Your comments are so obtuse its amusing. Please re-read what i have written. I have not said anywhere that i hate women, i stated i prefer men. You have twisted my words, and attacked me. I haven't said ALL Women are horrible bitches at all, i said women tend to br bitchier and nastier and you twisted my words, proving my point again.
I have had a bad experience in afemale dominated environment, you could have said "oh that's a bit shit, i havent experienced that" instead you try to pin the blame on me and i am.the nasty one? You imply i shouldn't be on mn because i prefer male company, yet i am.the nasty one. Please step back an look at your behaviour, you are displaying exactly the stereotypical nastiness i was talking about.
I have some lovely female friends but i have more male friends than female because i prefer their company. You are attacking me because i don't share the same opinion as you. And if you can't see that that is the stereotypical behaviour i was talking about then its not me with the problem.

I desperately wanted a boy and felt a bit flat when the scan showed she was a girl. Love her to bits, obv but before having her I never saw myself as a mother of girls.

I really, really wanted a boy. Got one!

I am not attacking you, I have asked you a question. My two posts are there in black and white for all to see. No attacks.

You have said "on the whole, women are very bitchy and judgmental". And you don't see how that comes across? You don't see why someone might take umbrage?

It sounds like you've had a terrible experience - but it's nothing like mine, and so I do wonder why you would opt to hang out on Mumsnet in your free time, if 'women, on the whole, are very bitchy and judgemental'.

My conclusion is that actually, on the whole, women are neither of those things, which is why this is such an enjoyably place to hang out on the internet.

Clearly you disagree with me though, so I have to wonder what motivates you to spend time here. This is not implying you shouldn't be here - it's wondering why you would want to.

Again, I'm not attaching you, as anyone can see.

You're posting what I find to be quite insulting stuff on a public forum - I'm simply questioning your stance.

Didn't care on the first genuinely, had a boy, pregnant with second would like another boy

^This - exactly the same with me - I had two boys. To me girls would have been a nightmare as I've never been a 'girly girl' so wouldn't have understood them at all!

I have often wondered whether the reverse might be true because women would be afraid of visiting more of their "issues" on a DD!

Now I'd quite like one of each but I think we're stopping at one!

Just a healthy baby. I have 3 boys and the mother/daughter relationship seems more fraught to me when they are older- judging from my own friends.

Depends on culture. I think there are still a few Asian families out there where boys are the hoped for outcome...I even heard one Asian colleague (mother to one child, a delightful teenage girl who is an absolute credit to her family) that after her daughter was born her mother said to her "if it's another girl next time, you know what to do" which unsurprisingly my friend was horrified by!

Personally I wanted a girl, albeit I cannot articulate a single sensible reason why and I am not especially girly myself. Just personal preference though....

I come on mn because its a free world and I can. I do like chatting to other women, getting advise etc etc, nowhere have i said that i dont. I simply stated i prefer male company, not i dont ever socialise with women. I have some very good female friends.
But you see your post comes over as very judgemental and attacking. Again i never said ALL women are horrible bitches, just a large portion of women have a tendency to be bitchy. You seem to be taking this very personally. I have not said these things about you directly but you are acting like i have. I have made a generalisation of "typical" female behaviours i dont like, that i have seen in at least 90% of the females i have encountered (and got to know over a period of time, my opinion is not based on one off encounters) i am not saying these women are bitches and horrible, but a good chunk showed some very nasty behaviour- not just to me but to others (and yes i have been on the receiving end of and witnessed nastiness from men too but on a much smaller scale)

I am glad you have not seen or experienced the nastiness of women. Because it really is not nice and i wouldnt wish that upon anyone. But please don't think eveyone has had the same experience. Like i said i dont hate women, but stereotypes are what they are with reason.

I have a girl
I always wanted a boy. So much I'm googling shettles method and ways to conceive a boy through timing ovulation etc.
I'd be devastated at another girl...

Then don't TTC. Seriously, if there's a 50/50 chance that the resulting child will "devestate" you purely on the basis of their sex then why would you risk it? There are more than enough unwanted children in the world as it is.

I don't think everyone has had the same experience - in fact, I think most people go through the world generally unscathed by nasty, bitchy, judgmental women.

This thread just shows up some really deep-seated negative opinions towards girls and women. Ironically, from other women.

It's uncomfortable reading.

I had a very slight preference for a boy with my first (who was a boy) but I think that was because I was so worried about having a girl that would find the teenage years and schooled miserable as I did. My perception is that it’s generally easier for boys but of course I could be wrong.
I was over those worries by my second (a girl) because I had seen by then that my children’s experiences will be different to mine. Just because I have a girl doesn’t mean she will be a mini me (thank God!).

So many people saying they never wanted a girl and they, themselves aren’t ‘Girly girls’ I don’t get that? I’m not a typically ‘Girly girl’ definitely not a fan of pink etc, but I still wanted a daughter (would in an ideal world, love a boy now too!) I don’t think she’s going to be a typical girly girl, but if she is, she is 🤷‍♀️

'I have a girl
I always wanted a boy. So much I'm googling shettles method and ways to conceive a boy through timing ovulation etc.
I'd be devastated at another girl...'

I do hope you don't attempt to have any other dc then with your 'shettles' or other selective methods.

The 'devastation' which one would undoubtedly cause is too much for an unwanted baby to possibly shoulder

'This thread just shows up some really deep-seated negative opinions towards girls and women. Ironically, from other women.'

Quite

what a stupid comment OP. I had my baby late in life and I was happy it was a healthy one, also I really wanted a boy.

It is very uncomfortable but you must ask yourself, why do people have these opinions? There must be some depth behind them. I belive most people will encounter or at least witness the nastines at least once or twice in their lifetime, going to an all girls school i find it hard to belive you never encountered or at the very least witnessed ANY of this behaviour. But i wasn't there so i dont know.

I was bullied at school by girls because i preferred sport over make up. Was a slag because i hung around with boys. Even the nice girls joined in (albeit pressured by the ring leader but they joined in none the less). I got a promotion at work. I worked my arse off for it put in the over time and extra effort i was up against 2 women and a man for the role. The man shook my hand and congratulated me, the women started a rumour i was sleeping with the boss, it nearly destroyed my relationship and my career.
I have witnessed the "your not playing with me because.... (add nasty reason here such as i am wearing a skirt and your not) like.i said i am not tarring ALL women with this brush but its really not hard to see where the stereotype comes from.

There are lots of ridiculous reasons not to want a girl on here ("I don't like pink!") and also some fucking awful statements ("I'd be devastated if I had a girl")

There does seem to be a lot of people saying they didn't want girls which I totally agree seems to be a bit on the defensive side.

However OP, let me tell you that the majority of women DO NOT MIND what sex children they have. And mothers of boys do not gaze jealously at those with daughters wishing they had that. Most women are deeply, deeply happy with their own children regardless of sex. And all mothers can have a great ongoing relationship with their children regardless of sex. And all mothers can dress their children in whatever fucking colour they like regardless of sex. And all mothers can let their children play with whatever toys they like regardless of sex. And all mothers can encourage their children to play whatever sport or do whatever hobbies they like regardless of sex. And all mothers can allow their children to form friendships with other children regardless of their sex. And all mothers can refuse to pigeonhole their child's personality due to their sex.

My three children (boys) are my world. If I'd have had other children (boys or girls) instead of these ones, they'd have been my world. I'll shout it from the rooftops IM SO LUCKY I HAVE THREE AMAZING, BRIGHT, FUNNY, HEALTHY, KIND CHILDREN AND I LOVE THEM MORE THAN I EVER KNEW WAS POSSIBLE!!!!

oing to an all girls school i find it hard to belive you never encountered or at the very least witnessed ANY of this behaviour

Quite obviously this would explain a lot

@Rufusthebewilderedreindeer im not sure what you mean by that comment

I would agree that there is some sort of assumed preference for baby girls. The thing is that before I had my children (boys), I wasn’t even aware that I was somehow “expected” to want a girl 😳. During my first pregnancy I heard things like “oh, a boy is OK too” 😳. There suddenly was a whole world of people clearly thinking that girls were somehow better, calculating their conceptions dates to get a girl, ttc 5th or 6th baby in order to finally get a girl, etc.
But that was nothing compared to things I heard when I was pregnant for the second time. Some of the real gems are: “better luck next time”, “keep trying and you’ll get your girl”, “at least you can re-use the clothes”, “oh, poor you, I would really not like having two boys”...This comments were upsetting me, not the fact that I was having another boy. It felt like I failed somehow, like my baby was second best to the girls and this does make you feel angry.
And I do understand why mothers of boys sometimes get overly defensive. I love my boys more than life and would not swap them for thousand girls in the world (as I am sure any mother feels about her children) and I have developed thicker skin now. But sometimes it just catches you. Like few days ago when my toddler was getting upset about something at the soft play and I was trying to comfort him. Some random man suddenly said: “ It’s just a boy moment. I am lucky, I just have girls”. 🙄 Like, why????? I don’t even know you! I didn’t ask for your help, I was just cuddling my son 😳. What does it have to do with you and your girls???? I can’t imagine ever telling any parent of the girl, that I am lucky I only have boys. Yet there were few occasions when I heard it from the parents of girls. Anyway, I wanted to say that we need to wait till teenage years and then see who will be laughing. But I didn’t, because I believe I am a better person and because I don’t think that boys better than girls or girls better than boys.

Sorry cynthia

I misread

The point i had in my head would still stand though...that people have different experiences As has already been stated on the thread