To bring my own meal to and not drink at 30th bday dinner...

[HappyRambler]

The dinner was organised 6 months ago for a friends 30th, it's a group of 6 of us from school and the birthday girl is cooking (she lives quite far away and we dont see each other often as all of us have kids etc).

In those last 6 months I've lost 3 stone and have 1 more to lose. I've been on a strict diet and avoided alcohol, takeaways etc. Would it be awful if I brought my usual plate of veggies and didnt drink alcohol (shes invited us all to stay overnight so no worry about lifts). My friend is quite overweight and doesn't eat the healthiest so I just know it will be a big calorie laden dinner followed by desert and washed down by A LOT of alcohol (something I dont miss and might never start drinking again) that could set me back and throw me off course. I'm an all or nothing kind of person! I dont want to be rude but I dont want to sabotage my diet either!

I wouldn’t care if my friend brought their own food .... it’s not at all rude... just talk to her first ..... what’s wrong with all of you people ... such extreme reactions ! Friends accommodate and support each other surely

Glad you sorted it .... a lot of posters on here are deranged .... my friends can ask and tell me anything ....lots of you need to lighten up ...with all the judgemental stuff and poor advice on how to be a friend...

This is exactly the reason DIETS DO NOT WORK!

What a way to live your life...

It will make you look stuck-up and holier than thou if you take your own veggies. Just eat a small portion and be grateful for good friends

Hey it's your friends birthday why is she cooking the meal?
If you cook the meal then you could have it both ways.

HappyRambler. Congratulations! You are doing really well!

Could you contact her and say you are on a strict diet - health reasons, not merely for weight, loss let her think you can't digest certain stuff but don't want to draw attention to it - and would it be OK to contribute a couple of dishes of the salad stuff you are allowed to eat?

Regarding the booze - lots of us don't drink for a lot of different reasons. Nobody should feel under pressure to drink. Just take some bottles of whatever you drink and say when you arrive you are off alcohol. Don't say much about it. People get funny I find if you talk about it.

After you reach your goal, I'd stay off alcohol if you don't miss it. You will be healthier and much better off!

Good luck. I neither drink nor eat a lot of the things others can eat. I've had digestive problems for over 10 years. When I go anywhere I ask people not to talk about it and I just eat what I can manage. People are really nice about about it and don't embarrass me.

It's a bit strange when an OP's other fat shaming thread is deleted because of "doubts about the op" that this one is still standing

HappyRambler. OOOhhh!! She's a lovely friend!! Sorry I only just found your message on p6.
So glad you asked her. Do hope you all have a wonderful evening and that your friend and her DH have a happy event in the next year!! 😊😁🍒🍎🍉🍓🍑🥦🥒🌽🥕🍅

Whenever we eat out or at a friends/relatives we always drink tap water as do our children mostly because it’s expensive to buy drinks

If any of my friends came to my house for dinner and said they were bring some of their own bits for whatever reason I would not find that rude. That's their choice and what does it matter. It's about you going along and spending time together surely? Can't believe so many people would think this was rude!

Offering to take things for everyone to go with the meal is a great idea! Good for you on the weight loss and a great determination you have! Do what works for you x

Can't believe the amount of people saying ooh rude! You do you bring some kinda quinoa dish, say it's amaranth and blah blah blah, she'll stop listening and be glad you brought your own especially if you begin to bang on about Crohn's or food sensitivities or something, don't worry and by God! Fair play to ya losing the 3!!! 🏋️‍♀️🏋️‍♂️👯

hobnob Well no, I don't suppose people do know the posting history of many users.

Can you point us to where the OP has been outed as a goady fibber?

What a lovely friend and well done for actually speaking with her and reaching a happy solution!

Sounds more like you're on the verge of developing an eating disorder rather than developing a healthy diet

Nah - just sounds like she’s in the zone !

Fine but to drink, I don't drink at all. Intolerably rude to take your own food, one night won't kill you, just be careful on your portion size and it'll be fine. Or don't go if you're that concerned.

Just eat a smaller portion and don't drink any alcohol.