To ask for this “gift” back?

[yellowish]

I am fairly friendly with “Jo,” the mum of one of my daughter’s classmates. I quite like Jo and enjoy chatting with her at pickup and school events. We always say we should get together but we virtually never do. I think I am more enthusiastic about that than she is. So I consider her a friend but not a close friend, if that’s relevant.

In some ways Jo and I have v similar tastes. I recently bought something that I loved and found really useful. I thought Jo could use a thing for herself and I didn’t know if she knew about it so I showed it to her. She admired the thing and agreed she should get one, but she never did. I wanted more of them myself so a few weeks later I bought a 5-pack of the things. At that time I only needed 4 of them so I was going to save the extra one for the future, but I knew Jo would like it so I have it to her. (If it matters, the things are worth about £20 each. If it further matters, that’s an amount that Jo and I can both afford comfortably.)

It’s now been about 6 weeks and Jo has never used the thing I gave her. She said she keeps meaning to use it but hasn’t gotten around to setting it up which takes 2 minutes . I should say that Jo has a lot on her plate and really is busier than most. So I don’t necessarily think she doesn’t want the thing, but at this point it seems unlikely that she will use it.

Now the time has come that I need another thing. Can I ask for the one back from Jo?

I am genuinely sorry for being coy about “the thing.” It’s just that it’s very specific and if Jo sees this I want her to at least not be completely sure if it’s about her. If the curiosity is just driving you insane, PM me.

Agree with everyone else- just let it go !

It sounds like Jo didn’t want one in the first place and was just being polite. It also sounds like she’s not that keen on you. You do sound a bit strange.

I work with someone whose every other word is thingy. Is this the same ?
Off to google this tile thingy. Not sure what they are but they sound better than the ones that dropped off my shower 🤷‍♀️

Whatever the thing is, I worry that you are over invested! Move on!

Maybe she gave the ‘thing’ to someone else.

I really wish Jo would come on and comment.
This is hilarious.

racist terminology, offensive to the Native American Indians.

Not to be pedantic but Indigenous American tribes have been quite focal about how offensive they find the word “Indian”

Not to be pedantic but there is no consensus amongst First Nations people that "Native American" is preferable to ",American Indian"

The American Indian Movement for example, a rights and advocacy group set up by American Indians in the 1960s uses the term Indian. Many American Indians find the term Native American unacceptable because of either the pejorative associations of native ("going native") or because it is meaningless- everyone born in America is a Native. American.

Why would the OP give her friend a Native American?

Is it a chrome cast?

You are clearly trying to buy Jo's friendship. Jo CBA. Lady bountiful doesn't cut it for her. Look and learn

You quite like her
Gosh what do you buy people you really like?

Can I stick up for OP here. ? My DH is a bit of a Jo. Me and the DCs find it hard to buy gifts for him and spend ages thinking of THINGS to get him. He even asked for a Smartwatch once which we bought.
So disappointing that he just puts these gifts aside and " hasn't got round to setting it up".

I hate the waste of time , effort and money. So now I say " Use it or lose it " and take it back.
Different dynamic here but I do understand the OP .

No you can't ask for it back now. And don't try and buy Jo again lol

She said it was an invisible kind of fridge magnet soooo u gave her sellotape!!??

OP ask her if you can have your Native American back and then cancel the cheque.

Just buy another one and don't give gifts to people just incase you might need it as a spare as you clearly use the 'thing' more than she needs it but you can't ask for it back.

I invented the Tile. About 12 years ago. Only I didn't do anything about it because I'm not in any way techy and had no idea how to turn my "I really need a gadget that I can stick on my things to stop me losing them" into a reality. It came about after I'd wasted another hour of my life hunting for the TV remote and I figured that when you lose your phone you ring it, so what I needed was a way of "ringing" the remote. And there you have it. Except you don't, because someone way cleverer thought of it too and knew how to actually do it. And now I'm soooooooo mad that it is an actual thing and it could have be mine!

It's only a step up from the gadget you used to whistle in the 80s. It's not a new concept to have something attached to your keys so you can locate it.

I'm super impressed at how calmly you've taken the critism especially as you stated early on how you agreed with the advice not to ask for the gift back. You sound to me like a great person to have as a friend.

These are things...

What's 'the thing'! I'm on the edge of my seat!

Very timely because my Tile 4 pack arrived this afternoon. 2 are gifts (not for Jo), one is on my keys, and the last one has been surgically inserted into my DD's beloved, and prone to hiding, soft toy

This is genius. How big are they? Wondering whether one will fit inside Bunny...

I was once given some clothes for my daughter that I didn't really like, but I accepted them to be polite. They were frilly, old-fashioned dresses, not my style at all. When she could see my daughter had never worn them, she asked for them back. I felt a little embarrassed, but happily gave them back - luckily they were still in the plastic bags they were in when she presented them to me. The thing is, I never asked for them in the first place, so felt slightly put out when she asked for them back, but was happy to get them out of the closet as I knew my daughter was never going to wear them. The moral of this is, I think, don't give people things if it's going to offend you when they don't use them.