To ask for this “gift” back?

[yellowish]

I am fairly friendly with “Jo,” the mum of one of my daughter’s classmates. I quite like Jo and enjoy chatting with her at pickup and school events. We always say we should get together but we virtually never do. I think I am more enthusiastic about that than she is. So I consider her a friend but not a close friend, if that’s relevant.

In some ways Jo and I have v similar tastes. I recently bought something that I loved and found really useful. I thought Jo could use a thing for herself and I didn’t know if she knew about it so I showed it to her. She admired the thing and agreed she should get one, but she never did. I wanted more of them myself so a few weeks later I bought a 5-pack of the things. At that time I only needed 4 of them so I was going to save the extra one for the future, but I knew Jo would like it so I have it to her. (If it matters, the things are worth about £20 each. If it further matters, that’s an amount that Jo and I can both afford comfortably.)

It’s now been about 6 weeks and Jo has never used the thing I gave her. She said she keeps meaning to use it but hasn’t gotten around to setting it up which takes 2 minutes . I should say that Jo has a lot on her plate and really is busier than most. So I don’t necessarily think she doesn’t want the thing, but at this point it seems unlikely that she will use it.

Now the time has come that I need another thing. Can I ask for the one back from Jo?

I am genuinely sorry for being coy about “the thing.” It’s just that it’s very specific and if Jo sees this I want her to at least not be completely sure if it’s about her. If the curiosity is just driving you insane, PM me.

Also can't pm. Also need to know what the "thing" is. Driving me to insanity lol

I am dying to know what the "Thing" is, but at the same time afraid to find out about something I will really want but costs me 20 pounds a week ...
I already want a Tile and Smart Plug, despite having only just googled them in the last five minutes. On another note, I had not realized the extent to which the world has turned into stalker central.

Friends gift friends things, sometimes they're not thoroughly used or even appreciated but it's just a friendly thing to do. You say she's been generous in the past, and you've been generous too. Let it go. She may yet use it and love it, I know I take time getting around to things sometimes.

Another vote here for a Tile and another one confessing I had to google.
And, yup, I'll be ordering a few!!

It can't be a tile. The info says the batteries last a year. Either that or they don't work very well and the OP loses a lot of stuff...

Utterly ridiculous thread. Are you 5yrs old OP?

Clearly this an incredibly sophisticated marketing ploy by the makers of tile to generate buzz around their product

(Also had no idea, also had to Google!)

Raindrops on roses
And whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings ...

@Ninkaninus

You sound very black and white. Most people have different levels of friendships. From people they are thrown together with and like at school events or hobbies or work and people who they go on to have deeper friendships with and everyone in between.

hiltsand sotired .MN hive mind has worked out it is something called a tile. It tracks stuff.

I am thinking of making something similar from old wire coat hangers and duct tape., I will call them divining tiles and only charge a tenner. I will include a few metres of string so you can link them to your phone or laptop. If Jo would like to pm me I will let her know when I am up and running with production.

Why can’t it be a Tile? OP thought she only needed enough Tiles to keep track of 4 of her items so has given the 5th Tile from the pack away. She has now thought of another item which she needs to attach a Tile to.

(NB I don’t know that the Thing is a Tile, but nothing OP has said is inconsistent with it being one).

Raindrops on roses
And whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings

No, I don't think it's any of those things

This thread is MN at it's worst OP asks for advice on a minor issue and takes advice on board graciously. Then loads of bitchy women with nothing better to do keep using the thread as an excuse to make nasty personal comments to her for no reason and take glee in ganging up on her like a bunch of 5 year olds.

It sounds like you've been a bit full on tbh... I probably would have taken it as it was the easiest option at the time even if I didn't want it if I felt you were being too pushy.

A Tile is a small tile-shaped tracking gadget linked to an app. So you attach the Tile to your keys, laptop bag, dog collar, small child or whatever, and your phone tracks their location.

Ooh, I definitely need one to stop me losing my phone...oh.

True, I am quite black and white when it comes to my own interactions with people - it makes things a little simpler and avoids me getting into situations I have no wish to navigate.

Obviously there are varying levels to friendships.

Clearly I didn’t make my point very well. I just wouldn’t get into any kind of reciprocal relationship with someone I really don’t know at all. Too much potential for awkwardness. If I give something to a friend then it’s theirs and I would retain no sense of ownership of it, nor any expectation that it’s any of my business what they choose to do (or not do) with said thing.

Cruelstepmother the good news is that if you have a Tile on e.g. your keyring you can press it and it will make your phone ring .

Ha! I hope I have cracked the code. I don't work for Tile but DH was sent a pack a few years ago by their PR team (he's a journalist) so infiltrating MN has been a serious slow-burn success for them.

I'm also dying to know what "The Thing" is. You bought one, then you needed 4 more, so you bought 5, and you gave the woman who does not want to be your friend one, and now you need another one, but they're really useful but you've now used 5 of them and need another?

What is THE THING

It can't be a tile. The info says the batteries last a year. Either that or they don't work very well and the OP loses a lot of stuff...

OP didn't say she'd used them all, she just said she needed another one.

We love Tile in this house

I don’t think I was being snide or bitchy or making any kind of personal remarks to/about the OP. I’m just relieved that I don’t have to do the whole acquaintance/friend-but-not-really/good friend/close friend thing, for the most part. It’s too much for me and I’m glad I’ve got things set up fairly well to avoid this kind of thing.

Oh is it really a Tile?

Bit of an anti-climax

So could you put a tile inside a car /a jacket/shoe? Hmmm very creepy - - misses point of thread--

What a strange post OP. If you give something to someone without expecting payment, it is a gift - no matter what it is or how it is given etc. And no you can't ask for it back. But we've established that.

I also can't PM and need to know what this "thing" is.

Why do people have to be so mean on this board? OP asked a question about something that was bothering her, on a forum for people to ask questions about things that are bothering them, and then accepted the advice graciously that you can't ask for a gift back...

The name calling and nastiness seems uncalled for.

OP - I think you've taken the advice on board really well.

And I want to know what the thing is...