No sign of DH and DD - AIBU to feel really really worried?

[crazychemist]

Starting to feel a bit panicky - AIBU?

DH picks DD (2.5) up from nursery on Wednesdays, usually at about 5.30. The nursery closes at 6.30. Sometimes he takes her to visit his grandmother before they come home.

She just called to ask if she can see them later in the week as he didn’t drop by today. So if they aren’t there, where are they??? The nursery closed over an hour ago.

AIBU to start to panic? DH doesn’t carry a mobile phone, and I can’t phone his work/the nursery to find out what time he picked up as both are now closed. If he hadn’t picked her up, they’d have been phoning me, right?

Good stuff OP. Glad to read your update.

@Cheeseandwin5 if you read properly he usually picks up their dd at 5:30.

And I’m sorry? She “chose” to go crazy?! Are you high? She didn’t know where her daughter was, if she was safe or injured or anything. I’d be much more worried if she wasn’t panicking slightly. Maybe you don’t care about kids enough that 2-3 hours of not knowing where they are is ‘relaxing’ but most normal people aren’t like that, thankfully.

@Motoko no, he picked the child up at 5:30. He was two hours late.

OP, I’m glad he’s being more understanding, although I struggling to understand how he could hang around for 2 hours and it not even occur to him that you might worry in the first place. He does need to get a phone, and if he’s going to be that late again it would be courteous and reasonable to let you know.

Yes, I remember life before mobile phones. There were payphones everywhere for this kind of situation, now there aren’t. Also, our world has changed now, and we are used to different ways of doing things.

Apologies, my comment above was for @Cheeseandwin5 not @motoko.

Then he gets a basic payg cheap phone and doesnt tell him Dm about it-so you can get hold of him in emrgencies

All parents think we can do better-My Df is the same he likes my dh but always telling my dsis she can do better and someone with more money

This thread has made me want to ditch my phone completely!

They aren't a necessity.
I love mine, I can play candy crush, catch up on emails, facebook when stuck in a queue or waiting at the doctors. I can look up directions or where the nearest petrol station is I can let people know what I'm up to if I CHOOSE to.

The idea that I HAVE to have one to keep DH or anyone else happy is just annoying!

Don't be paranoid op. I'm sure he is a good day

MustShow, it's not to keep OP happy: it's to save her worrying justifiably on occasions like this. Her DH could equally well have resolved the problem by using a payphone or something, but there might be instances such as a car breakdown where that wouldn't be possible.

I’m confused.

DH picked up DD. He didn’t take her to visit her grandmother. I get that children that age need a wee when they need a wee so he had to stop. But why get her dinner and let her play there? How far away is it? If he hasn’t gone to visit the grandmother then how come he’s far enough away from home that he can’t say to her that she can have dinner at home.

She’s just been to nursery so she’s had plenty of time to play. Presumably you had dinner planned or even started. Also a meal at a service station will expensive.

My dad is 68 he always take his mobile everywhere so not an age things. Yes we managed without phones but less working payphones around these days and you can buy a basic phone very cheaply with a PAYG sim just for urgent contact etc.
Glad they were both safe and happy and that he has agreed to the phone ( make sure its charged and on with credit)

Also why are people so suspicious? You read so many posts about crap dads on here. Ok thoughtless behaviour for the OP but he took his child out for tea and spent time with her and enjoyed her company for a little while. If he had a phone he could of solved the drama for the Op and rang or sent a short text.

I rarely take my phone out of the house unless I know that I will need to use it while I am out.

How on earth would you know?
Do you plan on getting flat tyres/falling over/randomly meeting an old friend and deciding to go for dinner to catch up/any one of a thousand things that might be useful to phone somebody about?

What's the point in having a mobile phone if you don't use it when mobile?

Ridiculous. What actually happened is not a big deal. If he had had a mobile phone, then none of this would have happened. A quick text to just let you know the plan...job done. Seems so silly not to have a phone. They're so cheap nowadays.

The idea that I HAVE to have one to keep DH or anyone else happy is just annoying

He doesn’t like to have one for several reasons (the expectation to reply to things immediately (DMIL is a control freak and calls ALL the time and panics if she doesn’t get an immediate response)

Don't tell her he has one?

The op is completely paranoid. She complains if he does something stupid or something good. Poor man must put up with a lot at home.

LarryGreysonsDoor. Why confused? It’s called fun and spontaneity. He sounds like a good Dad.