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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Pretty certain DH has forgotten my birthday

686 replies

BirthdayBlueSx · 19/06/2019 17:39

Today is my 30th birthday, I knew my DH was due to work today but if mine or his birthday fall on a weekday he usually takes a days holiday or at least a half day as a surprise and we go for lunch. He will usually say he can’t get time off and will suprise me in the morning or will come home early.

He hasn’t taken a half day as he didn’t come home at lunch but he’s just messaged saying he’s doing overtime until 8pm. Had a chat over messages and he’s not mentioned my birthday at all. I’m not going to remind him, if he’s forgotten so be it.

About 6 weeks ago he asked me to send a gift list to him. I did with links, a pair of shoes for £50 a bottle of spirt and a box of chocolates and said that he could get them in the local supermarket. He asked me to order the shoes so I did and put them unopened in his wardrobe.

On the weekend he told me not to expect anything for my birthday apart from the shoes as he’s not had time to get anything. Despite driving past the supermarket every single day and stopping for fuel at least twice a week.

I feel disappointed, my DHs 40th was last year and I got him some thoughtful gifts, organized a suprise meal with his family and close friends and took him on a city mini-break and sorted flights hotel and sports tickets so we could see a event he’s always wanted to see and even booked the time off without him knowing a thing.

My parents gave me a card with some money at the weekend and said they would sort something at a later date for a meal out as know doubt I would bust with either friends or DH and the kids.

None of my close friends have acknowledged it either, not even any plans later in the week. They have all had their big birthdays and we’ve done spa day, cream teas, and 2 weekends away.

AIBU to be a bit sad about it that no ones remembered?

OP posts:
SAHD2020 · 21/06/2019 15:21

Are people still giving Rob a bollocking! He said something a little I'll thought / badly worded, explained himself and apologised several times but that's still not enough! Surely if someone does or says something wrong, accepts it was wrong and apologises are we not able to move on from it?! It just seems this berating of Rob is excessive and has completely detracted from the OP's original problem!

gamerchick · 21/06/2019 15:32

Are people still giving Rob a bollocking! He said something a little I'll thought / badly worded, explained himself and apologised several times but that's still not enough! Surely if someone does or says something wrong, accepts it was wrong and apologises are we not able to move on from it?! It just seems this berating of Rob is excessive and has completely detracted from the OP's original problem!

This ^^ I think he's got the point. Hmm

Anyway as has been said he didn't forget. He made a verbal choice in advance he wasn't going to help the OP celebrate it, which makes him a selfish collosal cock.

Hope you're ok OP.

honeygirlz · 21/06/2019 15:40

No, he didn't retract that it's a fact that men have crap memories! Just apologised for causing offence and said 'I suppose we can only go by our own experiences'

No apology needed, just an acknowledgement that it's not a fact would have been better.

SAHD2020 · 21/06/2019 15:42

@gamerchick......agreed......i love the new name for him btw.....a selfish collosal cock......very fitting!

BettysLeftTentacle · 21/06/2019 17:24

Guys are not the greatest with remembering things.

Oh please Hmm

tinytemper66 · 21/06/2019 17:36

I hope you get to go out tonight and he doesn't forget you are and leaves you in the lurch!

OhDearGodLookAtThisMess · 21/06/2019 18:00

I don't accept that men are rubbish at dates (not dates that interest them, anyway).
But this bloke didn't forget. He warned the OP upfront that he knew it was her birthday on Wednesday but that he hadn't done/wasn't going to do anything about it.
What a Prince.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 21/06/2019 20:32

Hi BirthdayBlueSx hope you're ok (given the circumstances). Is he still going away for his cycling jaunt? Does he even realise how selfish he's being and the gravity of his actions or lack of on your relationship? Or does he feel like he's done his bit by booking the dinner for yesterday. Please don't accept his shoddy selfish behaviour towards you - you deserve to be treat better than that.

mummymeister · 21/06/2019 21:03

I am afraid as far as your h is concerned he has ticked the box marked wife's birthday. You had a present, he booked a meal and that's it. The fact that you had to buy and now return the shoes and you were too upset to go for the meal will be irrelevant in his mind. Because what inconvenience has he suffered? absolutely bloody none. I really hope you have turned your phone off and aren't giving any feedback on his photos. Better still block him temporarily. Why should you have your nose rubbed in it. And to those asking why her children didn't do anything off of their own bat well it's obvious --they are already picking up on their dads cues and treating the op badly. So please op look at all that's going on right now. Do you want your kids to grow up thinking this is a normal relationship. I can tell that you don't so please don't let this drop. I hope you have had a good time with your friends and that you find the energy to sort this shit show of a man out.

billybagpuss · 22/06/2019 08:04

How are you OP I do hope your week got better and you had a lovely day with your friend 💐

MummaofFurGirls · 25/06/2019 08:14

How are you going @BirthdayBlueSx

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