What advice would you give your younger self?

[ombre123]

Hi everyone

I'm feeling a bit reflecting this morning and with a big milestone birthday and two little ones growing at a rate of knots and 20 years in with my DH, I'm thinking about my first 39 years on this planet and there have been some parts that have been magic, other parts really challenging. One thing I have concluded though is that there have been some parts where I haven't been as kind to myself as I should've been in terms of self care, and always strived for what was coming next rather than being mindful of the present. That's something I'm going to be more conscious of as I enter another decade!

So I was wondering, when you look back on your life what advice would you give to your younger yourself?

Don't smoke

I would say, don’t fuck David

Don't stress about being single in your 20s when all your friends are coupling up - the right guy shows up just after your 30th birthday

I'd say "Stop going back to the bastard, Gemma, he'll never change"!!

With regard to men in your 20s: use them and lose them. Don’t spend your 20s depressed about them.
Don’t ever start smoking.
Don’t by a brand-new car on finance and have to live with parents until you’re 30. Move to London earlier instead.

I would tell myself to establish a career before children because full time childcare for 2 under 5 and the cost of a degree doesn’t work. Simply cannot afford £40k a year and no money coming in. One day.

Don’t use sunbeds and you are slim!

Enjoy your slim non flabby yummy.

Don’t worry so much about other people opinion.

Always put your seatbelt on then you won't end up with your face resembling a map of the london underground.
That would be my advice to my younger self.

Leave him when he cheated

To have left the UK years ago rather than waiting until now

You look gorgeous! Stop under rating yourself.
Your life will sort itself out, just be patient.
Don’t get married without thinking it through and get a career established first. Don’t be a SAHM.

Have more fun, and don't be such a tight arse.

If she wants to seduce you, and you are single, go along with it....

Be kind to yourself
Be your own person
Give less of a fuck about what others think.
Comparison is the thief of joy.

I’m 48, and it’s only in the last couple of years that I’ve applied the above and I can honestly say I’m happier than I’ve ever been.

Have a career plan and lose your anti authoritarian attitude, it will do you no favours.

LTB.

With regard to men in your 20s: use them and lose them. Don’t spend your 20s depressed about them.

This

Don't let go of your sports hobby because of work commitments - make excercise a priority.

Travel more - solo & with friends

Don't let yourself get fat & quite so unfit as you get older

Don't go horse riding when you are so hungover

End the relationship with C when he only owed you 3k (ended up losing over 50k)
Don’t try and change people it won’t work
Learn to love yourself - took me years to get there

That you can’t change people. You can only change your reaction to them / their behaviour. Decide if you can live with that but don’t assume or hope they will change.

And pick your battles.

Don't go in to public services, no matter how much you think you want to help people, it doesnt pay off and you will be emotionally drained and poor.

This isn't really advice because I couldn't have engineered this but its more of a wish, I wish I had met my husband earlier in my life. Infetlitly was always going to be an issue, I knew about my PCOS at 14 but it has been so hard trying to get pregnant in my mid going on to late 30s. It's like an everyday torture

Infertility*

don't get married to the first man who says I love you

don't follow a career path that will tie you to a single very expensive city

Please, please, please stop looking out of the metaphorical window, and use all your opportunities to the maximum.
You can make your own happiness, and doing as you’re told is very overrated.

Don't be so hard on yourself all the damn time.
Don't compare yourself to your sister.
Don't worry about every little thing.
Stay single at all costs - you'll meet the one at 29 and the not one's won't be worth all your devotion.