What advice would you give your younger self?

[ombre123]

Hi everyone

I'm feeling a bit reflecting this morning and with a big milestone birthday and two little ones growing at a rate of knots and 20 years in with my DH, I'm thinking about my first 39 years on this planet and there have been some parts that have been magic, other parts really challenging. One thing I have concluded though is that there have been some parts where I haven't been as kind to myself as I should've been in terms of self care, and always strived for what was coming next rather than being mindful of the present. That's something I'm going to be more conscious of as I enter another decade!

So I was wondering, when you look back on your life what advice would you give to your younger yourself?

Don’t smoke. Your not an imposter. Learn to drive before you have kids. Don’t spend a fortune on your wedding.

Don't smoke, save money, exercise & look after your body!

Do whatever it takes to stop smoking. You are going to have to give up sometime, make it now.

Your father doesn't actually like women, not all men are like him.

If your siblings don't like him? Believe them.
Career before relationships.
You actually can't love anybody before you love yourself.
Start saving from your first salary onwards. Compound interest is a wonderful thing.
Buy shares.
Believe in yourself, take the risk.
No, you aren't fat. You are beautiful.
Never, ever, ever take shit from a man. Ever. If he cheats, leave him

@GroEgg2000 your post made me well up. I am so happy for you.

Look after your teeth

You’re so much prettier than you think!

Do things because you want to, not because other people want to. ‘I don’t fancy it’ all you need to say.

Don't start smoking (although I bloody loved it, but now I have my DS and amazing hubby I'm worried it will come back to bite me later in life and take me away from them too early )

Don't get drunk at your cousins on that night.

Don’t defer your university place. Save 10% of everything your earn from the start. Stay away from tortured/moody/mysterious types - they are nothing but trouble. Get braces.

Not to be so obsessed with being in a relationship. Build your own confidence and self esteem up first, than you’ll be ready for the right type of man when he finally appears.

Don't use a cowboy orthodontist! 12 years and £8000 later I finally gave up. I was told by the new guy that the constant messing with my teeth had left them damaged, including shortening the roots to the point where they are at risk of falling out.

To my slightly older younger self - yes, sue the bastard.

Save into a decent pension early on.

Don't do anything too extreme to your body, dieting, drinking, overeating etc

That you are the most beautiful you will ever be each day you look in the mirror. Enjoy that days beauty rather than wishing for yesterday's.

Always take time to follow your dreams. Make time if necessary.

Laugh everyday

Say hello to people you don't know

Volunteer often but feel confident in saying no if you need to.

Look after your feet, teeth and eyesight.

Don't stop looking for the goodness in people.

Embrace exercise. Don't drink. Love vegetables and learn how to cook them so you can enjoy and stay slim.

Bullies can do one. They will never amount to anything so don't give them a second thought.

Go travelling. Spend as much time as possible with as little responsibility as possible and embrace your freedom.

If you're unhappy, change it. Regardless of others happiness. YOU MATTER.

@TK421 Thank you! It was a long toad but I got there eventually.

FFS, say NO to that cig in the toilets at school.
Avoid men named Richard. They bring nothing but hassle, in several different ways.
Spend more time with your Dad and your brother.
Don't assume your joint pain is through doing too much. Tell the bloody GP.
Don't drink tequila. Contrary to what that song says, it won't make you happy.

Choose a different degree

To be in less of a hurry and bide my time because it passes soon enough.

Come out. Tell your family that you’re gay ASAP because your mum and dad and sibs will be AMAZING about it - and all those friends that you lost when you did come out? you’ll see them once every 5 years or so at a wedding of a mutual friend or not at all - and that’s a good thing. You’ll have different friends, ones who will love you as you are. Be brave, have courage, it does get better. You’ll meet someone who’s ( almost certainly) the love of your life, and have two hilarious, joyous children with her, and realise this, right now, is the life that you were scared that you couldn’t have.

I would say, don’t fuck David

I was thinking the exact opposite but that's a very long time ago!

Don't make your decisions based on not upsetting other people, don't stick in a job you hate.

Stop starving yourself, you'll end up gaining it all back when you have babies, and he still loves you when you do. Also for the love of God change subject, don't quit you tit!

Learn how to say Fuck. Right. Off. and mean it

Put your all into every thing and finish what you started, regardless of what unhelpful comment your mother has made.

Enjoy your pregnancy, just because it was unplanned didn't mean you couldn't show your excitement.

Stop carrying everyone else's burdens, you cannot 'fix' everyone so stop lying awake at night working out how to.

Stop savings things for best, enjoy them now.

Stay in touch with friends, stop waiting for people to invite you out, make the plans. Enjoy your life.

Hug your family, tell them you love them. ( I still don't actually really do this, I've told my present self this now and I will start doing this)

You are clever enough to pursue what ever dreams you have.

Stop worrying about getting old, not everyone gets the privilege.

If you have niggling doubts about the person you're going to marry, listen to them.

Stop worrying about other people's opinions of you.

Saying no does not make you rude, bolshy or inconsiderate of other people's feelings.

Don't take the path of least resistance for an easy life.

I'd tell my younger self I am lovable

Not to waste time mourning the 7 years spent with ex that you left because he didn't want to get married or have children. You knew he was an arse on seeing his wedding and baby pics on FB 12 months later.
Drink less.
Not to settle for "it'll do".

Stop pissing about with losers who drink and take drugs every night of the week. It's going to land you in trouble.
Stay at school and work harder, you are actually quite clever and could somewhere.