AIBU or is DS?

[availableforlunch]

DS is 12. He gets what I think is a lot of pocket money - £15 per week. This is because he likes to spend money on expensive clothes and the Xbox, so this way I put the responsibility for buying those things on him, and he should supposedly learn to budget accordingly.

He also gets £5 a week on his lunch account at school, and his phone contract paid (not an expensive phone).

They're going to Cadbury's World with school this week. He's asked for £15 extra to take for spending money. I have said no, he can have £5. He is having a strop saying that £5 won't be enough to buy anything there, and he's going to spend the £5 on sweets for the journey. I've said if that's the case he is having nothing. He should have saved some pocket money from last week if he wanted to take a lot of money on the trip.

Who is being unreasonable here? I think he's being spoilt, he thinks I'm mean.

What other kids who aren’t going?

@availableforlunch

sounds as if you treat your DS pretty much the same as I did.

Packed lunches available from home but an additional allowance a week for a day's school lunch as a treat or to add chips or a desert to his packed lunch.

Phone contract paid for.

An additional allowance each week to cover buying games, any trips out (cinema etc) or to save if he wanted to top up the price of basic clothing with designer. DS is 18 now so I can't recall the exact amount he had each week at that age.

I've noticed responses so far are split between those saying you give him too much and those expressing disgust you are expecting him to buy 5 lunches for £5 and all his own clothes (those posters have not actually read the thread ...) I would say that if you parent in between those who are too laid back and those who are really strict you're generally taking the right line.

What on earth are his friends planning to spend £20 on at Cadbury World? Enough chocolate to make themselves sick? I'd give him £10 and say he needs to do some additional chores for the extra money (upping the £5 to £10)

Sorry - to clarify I would make the packed lunch but it's something boring like ham sandwich - not a SFC wrap

OP I am laughing with you at the incredible variation of responses here - on one hand your DS is a spoilt brat who doesn't know he's born, on the other he's a woebegone urchin who is forced to fend for himself to scrape together a packed lunch or starve to death! Half of the 12 year olds in the country don't even know what a designer label is whereas the other half won't be seen dead in anything that's not branded.

FWIW, in answer to your original question, yes £5 is more than enough for a school trip where he will get extra chocolate anyway, and will inevitably spend any more money on utter tat!

However, after saying that I was incredibly @wallywobbles who thinks it's fine to give one dd more than a third more money than her very close in age sister simply because the younger one doesn't want to accept hand-me-downs! Why would she want second hand stuff she didn't choose herself? How would you like it if your colleague had a thirty percent pay rise but, it's okay, because you can eat whats left of her lunch after she's finished with it, and she'll pass on her old clothes to you? Rare to see such blatant examples of favouritism! I would be absolutely gutted if I was your second dd!

I think you need to be clear what the £15 is meant to be funding. I'd actually say its not a huge amount if he's meant to be paying for trips out with mates and clothes too and topping up his lunch money. That said it's definitely adaquate so just be clear about what it should cover and stick to your guns!

I really don't see the big deal about packed lunches. Making a sandwich is something that reception kids can manage. If he's not a morning person then it's a quick job the night before and left in the fridge for the next day. OP isn't asking her son to pay for ingredients and go to the shops to get the bits. My 12yo can be quite lazy but would quickly get used to it. Shock horror- he can cook a couple of evening meals from scratch unsupervised.
I don't think that £10 for spends is tight at all. (her Ds is buying £5 for the coach trip and has £5 while there) It's Cadbury's so £5 would buy a lot. I think that this is an age appropriate lesson.
His choices are

1. £5 for the coach and £5 while there
2. £10 for the coach and £0 there
3. £0 for the coach and £10 there
4. Save extra money for the trip. £10 on chocolate and sweets is plenty
5. Negotiate an advance of next week's money

The idea that a 12 year old only costs £20 a week including lunches is absurd though.