to think that old people should mind their own business

[katybump]

My dd is 3months old and has a strawberry birthmark on her forehead{between her eyes}It is very obvious but doesn't affect her in anyway.While at the doctors with her today {for an unrelated matter}an old man in the waiting room decided to engage us in conversation and then asked me what i was going to do about her birthmark. I told him nothing as it would eventually go away.To this he replied "You should get it removed,nobody wants to grow up with a thing like on their face"

I was gobsmacked and at first thought i may have misheard him but his wife told him to shut up.I asked him not to speak about my daughter like that but he just shrugged his shoulders.

I had to leave the waiting room as i was shaking so much and close to tears.When he left he tried to say goodbye to meand i asked him to leave me alone .His wife then decided to have ago and told me she'd get worse than that and she probably desrved it .ffs how can a 3mth old baby deserve anything.

My dh decided to follow them outside and speak to them.After more words were spoken my dh came back inside and then the man came back and tried to say he hadn't meant it.Talk about red rag to a bull,i swear if he hadn't left i think my dh would have gotten violent.

Sorry for the long post but i needed to get this off my chest before i explode

I don't know who they were or why they said it.All i know is there comments hurt me deeply and i hope i never have the misfortune of meeting them again.

You sound like you've come out the other side smiling well done I think i will adopt your attitude and deal with each obstacle as we reach it .

Going to try and get some sleep now,was up all last night with a poorly baby which is why we were at the docs in the first place night x

Katy and Kami your dds are beautiful, thanks for sharing them.

Some folk are just plain horrible. I went to see the nurse at my local doctors as had thrush in breast when ds3 was 10 days old and she told me that I should reconsider his name before I registered him Bitch - complained to the doctor and she got told off and had to apologise. Really shook me up and dh was furious when I told him what she said. Needless to say shes not very popular in general.

Feeling better about the whole situation now.Thanks for listening to me rant x

The 'deserved it' comment makes her sound seriously unhinged. Up to that point it could be seen as merely insensitive and over-blunt. I've met doctors like that in the past - crap bedside manner, tell it like it is sort of thing. But that comment was very very odd and unkind.

It's not old people, just some people.

Don't think its necessarily relevant that these people are old - just that they are nosy and innappropriate! How dare they think they can comment on your dd's birth mark?!! Especially when they clearly don't have a clue what they are on about!

I still find it strange that people you don't know and have never even met think its OK to pass judgement and make comments to you and then get upset when you don't like it! But in real life they do so although I think you are absolutely not unreasonable it might be worth thinking about how you are going to respond to this in the future as it will happen again. And if it happens when dd is older and can understand what is going on this will upset her more if she sees you getting upset or angry.

Maybe try and make yourself feel better by thinking that if these people are so small minded that they think its OK to make comments like this they must have a really cr*p life might help!

i haven't read the whole thread but i am that people can say things like this without even flinching and then to actually say she deserved makes me very very for you, my DS3 has a red birthmark right in the middle of his forehead too and we have had some unnecessary advice from old people, passers by even family and friends!

keep strong and think up loads of come backs for these ignorant small minded people thats what i have done, it may not be the right way but i can no longer just walk away i make sure i say something clever and witty back before walking away with my head held high!

katybump, just wanted to say how sorry I was to see your OP. FWIW, I have had some cracking comments directed at me from complete strangers over the last 7 years (since I have had children). The most recent was when ds2 (2) was shouting in the local supermarket and running about and an old lady proceeded to tell him that she knew he would get a smacked bottom when he got home (she then told me that she knew that's what I would do and that it was OK). My face must have looked a picture because when she left the shop assistant rolled her eyes in the old lady's direction . My ds2 has a birthmark on the back of his neck which looks like a long dark brown scratch mark and we have recently been getting a few questions about that from people but nothing like the comments which were directed at your dd (who btw, looks utterly gorgeous).

Kamikayzed, just wanted to say that your dd shares a birthday with me and with my ds2 - obviously a fantastic day to have a birthday . Lovely picture too!

Screw idiots, whatever age they are.

My DS has a strawberry mark on each shoulder blade. We call them his wing buds.

Krang - how lovely

As for the OP, i'm really furious that people think they can talk to others that way!! I would probably not have been quite so polite and told them to f*ck right off!!!

I'd be incandescent !

Katybump, what a horrible comment to make about ur DD and good on ur DH for going to speak to them. Some people should really mind their own business and their manners !!!
My DS has a mongolian blue spot on his bottom and lower back and we always get comments about how hard we must have smacked him etc. I get upset sometimes, I don't smack my kids and hate the fact people think I do but I haven't got time to explain to everybody what the mark is, let them get on with it.
Oh and I also got told in a doctors surgery that I didn't look like I was capable of being a mother as I was gently rocking my DD too sleep.

for you.

my dh has a port wine birthmark (sadly it was never going to go away) and my MIL had all sort of hurtful comments like:

"what a shame, could have been such a pretty boy"
"have your hit him"
"have your burnt him"
"what an awful thing on his face"
"he will never be happy"

And recently, someone walked up to him and said "what did you do to deserve that black eye mate"

You just have to develop a thick skin but still makes me furious.

I don't think its and "old person" thing though. Just a "bloody narrow minded, ignorant and insensitive person" thing.

why are some peeps sooo rude?
i knew a guy who was badly burnt years ago on his face, he was such a nice guy but worked in a theatre and some of the comments he got were sooo unkind
my daughter is in a w/chair and shes had her share of comments too; what a shame, shes soo pretty but i usually had a smart turnaround comment straight back that would leave them looking the idiots .
Your little girl is lovely and thankfully cannot hear/understand the idiotic comments that peeps make when her mark has gone and she looks at her birth pics tell her she was kissed by an angel with lipstick on then she'll be extra glad that she looked the way she did.
enjoy your beautiful girl...what a smiler

What awful people.

If they're notorious for it, though, I don't understand why the practice manager or doctor doesn't take them aside and tell them to keep their nasty mouths shut because they are distressing the other patients.

Your baby is a cherub and obviously perfectly healthy so flabbergasting as it was, you can shrug it off after a good internet rant (and maybe a private laugh with your husband because they're going to DIE soon). How much more distressing would it be to have them say something hideous about your terminally ill/profoundly disabled/autistic child?

A girl at my school had a strawberry birthmark all over one side of her face. She graduated from Oxford, has a fab enviable job and a handsome husband.

Thanks for all the posts.It's good to know that she will be accepted for who she is x

Just a quick note.An older couple(won't say old lol)stopped me in the supermarket yesterday to tell me how beautiful my daughter was.It made my day

katybump-I know this is an old post but really, your daughter is gorgeous - as are all babes! My ds (11 months) has a large strawberry on the corner of her eye and a small one on her forehead and to be honest, she has only ever had one bad negative comment. from a young waitress in a cafe "oh my god. what the hell's happened to her?" as soon as she'd said it she went bright red and tried to back track. some people (usually kids) ask what it is but we just poiletly explain and they usually go "oh" and then go back to playing. most people just coo over her, especially those who are parents and realise how precious our kids are.

i think that our ds has had such a positive repsonse because dh and i celebrate her strawberries and NEVER EVER hide them. when they first appeared i admit i was upset because you want them to be 100% perfect but now they just add to her overall goregousness! when she gets dressed up we even dab a little bit of glitter round it to make it sparkle! it's all about your attitide and it sounds like you have the right one. ignore the stupid comments for what they are and keep being proud of your lovely girl!

haven't read all the thread but ds has a brithmark on his chin it is quite dark and hasn't bothered him as of yet (he is 5)

but the other day he did come back from school asking why he had a dirty mark on his face and saying that his teacher had told him to wipe it off !! have had people saying before has he got choc on his chin!!

does anyone know any books or anything that could explain what it is for him that are aimed at kids