To be mad at step children on father’s day

[Herewegoagain123]

My darling step children really are something else. My husband is a great dad, does so much for them (as he should).

It’s their weekend with their mother but nevertheless they don’t live far away and we did see them the end of last week.

Eldest one is working and I gave him a little reminder - nothing, not even a text for his dad.

Youngest asked me to get her a gift and card (Following my reminder), I gave them to her and they are still sitting unwritten in her bedroom!

They are both prolific users of social media and not a single text or call.

I’m sad for DH. They’re old enough to know better.

The tone from your posts suggests you are defensive, uptight and dismissive of your DSC.
You bought your SD the gift as it allows you to act the way you are acting right now and you can qualify your behaviour by stating 'I EVEN bought a card and a gift for her to give and still nothing'.
This is not your fight or place to argue. You have assumed your DH is flat this morning for this reason of the kids haven't even made an effort (it's barely 9.30am on a Sunday morning!). Perhaps he's flat because he knows you're going to put him in the middle again, highlighting your clear disdain of his children. You need to back off and let him deal with it, IF he wants to. Adding your own malice to the situation will not endear him to you.

For context, my 3DC's, 12, 8 and 5 have yet to even see me this morning. They're in the lounge watching TV and I'm enjoying my cofffee alone. This would also be the case on Mothering Sunday AND my birthday.

Get a grip.

Maybe they generally don’t like to celebrate Father’s Day (as is their right) and they only played along with you buying a present because your clearly pushy (“my darling step children” pretty clear you don’t like them). You arnt the kid, or the dad, so it’s not your thing to be annoyed about.

My parents split up when I was 5, I saw my dad regularly but didn’t do Father’s Day, I was a kid and I blamed him for not being there. Might not have been rational but that’s kids for you. Luckily I managed to escape having a step mum who slagged me off on the internet to strangers for not jumping to attention before 10am on a Sunday.

Maybe he’s flat because of a million reasons or maybe he would just like a little thank you for all you do on father’s day.

I say again the card and gift are still in her bedroom, unwritten. All she had to do was write it and leave it for him. She’s had it a week.

Why are you so angry?

Such a shame to waste the day for everybody. Do you want to know what a birth mum (as in "non step-mum) would do? Just remind the kid to do something, without any upset or anger. Done.

I also think it's too early to get upset . On Mother's Day I got my card at after 11am and my dc live with me .

I did remind them both last weekend, with no nastiness or malice. I got flamed for this earlier in the thread as it’s none of my business.

I think they are being little shits. It doesn't take 5 minutes to write a card and send a text. If they can't be bothered now they will grow up to be selfish adults.

@Herewegoagain123
I say again the card and gift are still in her bedroom, unwritten. All she had to do was write it and leave it for him. She’s had it a week.
Maybe she’s organised a present herself or with her real mum.

Fathers day and the rest of them really are bullshit days.

I think they are being little shits. It doesn't take 5 minutes to write a card and send a text. If they can't be bothered now they will grow up to be selfish adults

I haven’t seen or spoken to my dad yet. I show him (and my mum) how much I adore them in countless ways through the year.

One text because “it’s father’s day, you’ve got to” doesn’t actually mean anything!

Not everyone does father's day.

My kids ( 19 and 21) will not acknowledge father's day, and we are all completely fine with that ( mothers day is also a non event).

These are silly non events imo.

Reminding them is no bad thing. Your problem here is the mean way that you’ve spoken about them in your opening post, and that your clearly so annoyed for something that isn’t yours to be this annoyed at. Maybe she plans to come round in the afternoon in person, and being a kid/teen she’s not organised or selfless enough to think in advance, even if not, that’s for her and her dad to deal with. By being annoyed at your step kids you are just putting your DH in the middle

@Ghanagirl that’s a bit harsh

How old are they?

Just reminded me if not texted my dad off to do it

@Ghanagirl if her real mum (nice term) has organised it then why did she ask me to? Her real mum most certainly won’t have done that!

madcatladyforever

I think they are being little shits. It doesn't take 5 minutes to write a card and send a text. If they can't be bothered now they will grow up to be selfish adults.
You certainly live up to your name, it’s not even 10.00 on a Sunday my DH is still in bed.

I forgot to add, I too have SC and they're not seeing their Dad today and have not sent him a card or to my knowledge are yet to call him. My partner and I don't live together and I knew my SC wouldn't send him a card.
So last week I quietly bought him a few different types of chocolate bars, wrote each of his children's names on them, bought a card, wrote that from his children and posted it all to him.

He got it yesterday, cried to me over the phone and was angry that his ex-partner hadn't prompted the children to do anything for the day. Do you know what I did, I diffused the situation, defended his ex-partner and my SC and helped him to feel better and not harbour any ill feelings. I don't call them my SC to him, I say 'they're OUR children and they will make mistakes so we need to lead by example'. Because that is how I treat my children.

I would never act as you do. If my ex-husband had a partner like you and she acted how you do towards my children, I would not like you one bit and there is no way I'd respect you.

Do you have your OWN children?

Blimey if it were Mother's Day, a lie in and not being disturbed would be at the top of my list. Perhaps just remind them again? It's a thing. Kids are very self obsessed and often need multiple reminders to do stuff that doesn't immediately serve them. Yes it's irritating but it's life. Probably not malicious. Stop projecting. You seem notvto likevthem so maybe this is a protest against you organising them and interfering rather than any latent dislike towards their dad. Maybe they feel a bit micromanaged and this is their passive aggressive way of telling you they don't like it? Not very mature but they're kids, and it goes with the territory. And yes I've been a step parent. Stop being a martyr, do the grown up thing and remind them and leave them to it.

It just reads like you woke up chomping at the bit, almost hoping they won't have contact him.

It's really odd, as if you woke up and were checking straight away.

Ah, and old classic...

OP: AIBU?
Everyone: Yes
OP: No, I'm not

Tale as old as time, that one.

Anyway, my brother only just started to be anything like reliable for mothers/fathers day in his mid thirties. He's also a real softy, a loving son and someone who will always be there for you when you need it. He just doesn't really buy into cards and gifts for set days.

I am 100% reliable at getting cards and pressies. That's my way. I am not a better daughter than he is son. We are just different. However, I genuinly cannot remember doing anything for mothers/fathers day when I was a self absorbed teenager.

I've just read your only other thread. You dislike your DSD a lot. Also, you said about your DH "he’s not really fussed about FD".

'Contacted'

@Thursday452poh
Harsh to suggest that DD May have organised something already.
I’m not the one talking about my stepchildren sarcastically before 09.00 am!!

@DM1209 blimey you think you’re so bloody perfect but your passive aggressive tone screams out! He’ll know you don’t like them as I can tell just from that last post. Get real lady you’re kidding no one.