To be mad at step children on father’s day

[Herewegoagain123]

My darling step children really are something else. My husband is a great dad, does so much for them (as he should).

It’s their weekend with their mother but nevertheless they don’t live far away and we did see them the end of last week.

Eldest one is working and I gave him a little reminder - nothing, not even a text for his dad.

Youngest asked me to get her a gift and card (Following my reminder), I gave them to her and they are still sitting unwritten in her bedroom!

They are both prolific users of social media and not a single text or call.

I’m sad for DH. They’re old enough to know better.

Crikey, turn the tables, if it was mother’s day and all the precious mums didn’t get something when their children were with their dad and evil step mum what would the mumsnetters be saying?

I would be more than happy for mothers day not to have been mentioned at all in my house at 9am.

Haven’t phoned my dad yet either. We’ve got the whole day

I would be more than happy for mothers day not to have been mentioned at all in my house at 9am

Same here, isn't a big fat lie-in part and parcel of these made up days

Mothers Day & Fathers Day are not part of the more recent drive like baby showers, proms etc to make us all spend money.

I can remember back to 1960 and I always gave / was helped to give, a card on those 2 days

@Herewegoagain123
You sound immature it’s not that important and your DH is probably “flat” because he’s still half asleep

It’s early. I’ve been awake since 6am with my own DC, but I still haven’t messaged or called my own father. They’re probably still asleep. It isn’t for you to police how they treat their father. YABU

Op it’s not for you to decide that he is a great dad to them it’s for them to decide

And it seems you are a little to eager to have a reason to have a moan about them

I would give teens until lunchtime.

But would be sad on DH's account if nothing turned up by then (especially as I would have reminded them in the week, and offered a small extra amount of pocket money if required)

This is not your job as stepmum! Not only the reminders, but also the fact you are checking up on their social media use - how else would you know about the pouty face?

Your serious resentment of your stepchildren leaks out of your post.

You are even attributing feelings to your husband when he hasn't said anything. Maybe he's a bit flat because he can feel your simmering resentment against his kids and is thinking here we go again?

It's 9am ffs! There is no law that says father's day contact must be immediate on waking up. You seem to have very fixed ideas of how his kids should behave and how their relationship with their father should be. Unless there is a massive drip feed I'm with the highhourse brigade.

Even if you're right about the 9 pm, it's still too early for a rant about it.

I take it you don't like his kids? They can probably tell, it probably makes it awkward for them to pop round / call etc.

As pp it's also still early.

'This is not your job as stepmum! Not only the reminders, but also the fact you are checking up on their social media use - how else would you know about the pouty face? '

And this

Yabu. And ridiculous!

It wasn't even 9 o'clock when you posted, fyi it's father's Day all day

Stop trying to micro manage the relationship bw your dh and his children. Seriously, butt out and leave them to it.

The fact is there are no plans for him to see them today so if they were going to give him a card (or SD was going to pass on the gift I got for her) then it would have had to have been done already.

'Out of the way? LOL they’ve got a long wait.'

Why? do you dislike them having time with him whilst you aren't there?

I hate these threads.

AIBU?

Resounding yes....

OP flounces

The end.

Did your DH ask to see his children today?

Oh of course I should butt out as a step mum has no right to any opinion!

100% don't believe you that your SD has put a "pouty selfie" on insta before 9am on a Sunday, you've totally said that to fit your narrative.

YABU

it’s barely 9am! Give them a bloody chance. And yes I would say the same to a mother or stepdad stressing at 9am on mother’s day!

Also, in some cases (and I’m not saying it’s the case here), men put on the “great dad” act for their new partner, but their kids would tell a different story!

Martha my response about the long wait was because someone said they were waiting until I was out of the way. I’m married to him, if they want me off the scene they have a long wait.

Oh of course I should butt out as a step mum has no right to any opinion!

Course you can have an opinion.

Just like everyone else can tell you you’re wrong.

I adore my old Dad. However I have always refused to buy into this American 'Fathers day'. It's made up rubbish to guilt trip people into spending money. There has always been Mothering Sunday and real tradition and reason behind the day. Watch this space and within your lifetime we'll have Grandparents day and stepparents day. Who on earth do you think invented Father's Day?

FWIW OP my mum used to assume we would all be useless at something before we had the chance to show her we weren't. You can imagine how well that turned out! Just have some patience, grab a cuppa and stomp about the house loudly and passive aggressively