Getting pregnant at age 47, chance is so negligible that I don't need to bother with the Map?

[TooOldForAllThatShit]

DH and I had a quickie this AM. Condom was empty but he definitely orgasmed. It was stuck inside me so he thinks the contents tipped out.

My super market chemist has run out of the morning after pill and the nearest one is a 15 minute drive away. I cba to go and spend £35 for nothing really and I'm exhausted after a 6 mile walk. I've also been on quite strong antibiotics for the last two weeks so not sure it will even work?

AIBU to think I don't need to worry too much at my age. DH is 50. We have 4 DC already. My periods are spacing further apart which indicates menopause approaching.

WWYD?

This story illustrates exactly why map needs to be available In a wider range of outlets not just pharmacies, in the same way that condoms are. It is a very low risk medication and far safer than becoming pregnant.

I never had to really coerce DH into having a vasectomy, he had seen what 4 pregnancies had done to me (I still suffer from issues caused by them) there was no way my body could cope with another so he just went and made the appointments, he hated faffing about with condoms too. About a week of pain and discomfort and he was done ( nothing like a post partum body). Now that stage of our lives has passed, no scares, can just have sex with no issues.

Exactly sweetkitty - it's a complete no brainer for most people.

"It's a pathetic choice"

Absolutely not.

It is the exercising of bodily autonomy. No-one shouid be forced, coerced or shamed into surgery they do not want

Exactly Munchy - makes me wonder if people know how the MAP works

OP, if you ovulated yesterday and had sex this morning, it won’t work. If you’re ovulating right now and take it in an hour, it won’t work. If you’re due to ovulate tomorrow and take it now, it may well work.

This is why it’s so important to take it ASAP after sex, especially if your cycles are irregular

Otherwise, enjoy the triplets you may have just created during your ovaries’ going out of business sale.

It is the exercising of bodily autonomy. No-one shouid be forced, coerced or shamed into surgery they do not want

Oh my goodness. For those with serious reading comprehension difficulties - decent men DO NOT NEED TO BE FORCED / COERCED / SHAMED.

They do it willingly, of their own free will. Because they're nice men and partners.

Why have we had three pages of feeding an obvious troll

OP - you did the right thing, take it ASAP!

Having said that, I'm more than willing to shame any random men who may be reading this thread, who won't have a vasectomy.

Because they deserve to be shamed. Consider it my public service.

"OP, if you ovulated yesterday and had sex this morning, it won’t work. If you’re ovulating right now and take it in an hour, it won’t work. If you’re due to ovulate tomorrow and take it now, it may well work. "

That's not completely true.

Yes, the interference to ovulation is a main effect.

But it has secondary effects which reduce the chances of successful implantation.

So even if you have already ovulated it can still work.

By 'work' that means have the predicted outcome of reducing expected conceptions by about 85%. Not guaranteeing no pregnancy in every woman who takes it

FionasWineShow

I'm not defending s sub standard man as you put it. We've used condoms for 26 years, without incident. Quite happy with that thanks. I have never been sure that I'm done having babies so we didn't want to make a permanent decision. That's our choice.

So nice women offer to be sterilised, or have abortions because they are naive and want to please their partners?

Nope, thought not.

Decisions about risk, and willingness or otherwise to have a procedure with significant risks of side effects is nothing whatsoever to do with being 'nice'.

FionasWineShow
So your *nice man" willingly has a vasectomy because you are done having children? You then split up. You both move on to new relationships. He can't have any more children and now you're with a new partner but now have the risk of pregnancy again? How has this solved your problem of not wanting children?

have never been sure that I'm done having babies

As I said to the pp who offered up a similar excuse - good for you guys.

I have no interest in individual couples, where the woman twists and turns to take the full contraception responsibility and load herself, instead of expecting the man to step up.

All I want to do is highlight to other women that you don't have to take 100% of the load. A decent man will offer, or if not, be receptive to you asking him to do his share.

I don't want any more children.

DH doesn't want any more children.

If I die, he doesn't want to replace his existing children. Why would he?!

We're both done.

Vasectomy is the choice. All this twisting and turning to make it seem like men shouldn't do it.

Decent men just do it.

Totally agree FionasWineShow

Was an easy decision for us, had 4 DC didn’t want anymore, didn’t want any scares far too old for that carry on. Female sterilisation is a much bigger op than male so DH decided he would have a vasectomy.

And it's great if you both are done having kids and stay together and if he suffers no complications.

For the 1 in 10 that do it probably doesn't seem like such a great choice does it?

Nobody's actually met the 1 in 10 in real life Decomposing, because it's actually so vanishingly rare.

But keep on keeping on with your defending of sub-standard men.

My husband is more than decent 🙄 but it worked out better for us for me to be sterilized rather than him. It was such a minor op - out for about 15 mins and I didn’t even need any extra painkillers other than the ones I took straight after the OP. It felt like a period. We also loved the fact it was effective immediately.

Pressurizing someone to have an operation they don’t want is not ok.

Pressurizing someone to have an operation they don’t want is not ok.

Another one with reading comprehension difficulties.

Decent men don't need to be 'pressurised'.

And it's always much easier for a man to be sterilised than a woman.

Any who equates decency with the willingness or not to have a medical procedure just isn’t very bright.

Fiona, the information I got was from NHS Wales website. It has been quite widely reported in the urological journals so seems real. I don't think it is necessarily something friends and family would share.

but it worked out better for us for me to be sterilized rather than him

Of course it did, love.

Which is why you're rolling your eyes at random old me.

It's a far simpler operation for him than you. But he wasn't willing. Sorry you have a sub-standard specimen.

Good for you getting the MAP op

I'm 26, I don't think I can imagine being late 40's and having a baby! The thought makes me shudder. My little lady is 9 months old and she'll turning 21 2 months after I turn 47! No way, no way - oldest 21 and youngest newborn - no way!

The NHS website says the risk for men having a vasectomy is 1 in 10.

You're not telling me anything I don't already know.

Nobody's actually met the 1 in 10 in real life Decomposing, because it's actually so vanishingly rare.

Have they not? So the NHS have just made the figure up then? Those men don't actually exist?

10% isn't vanishingly rare.

I had a procedure done. Risk of complication was 1 in 10 thousand. To me, that's vanishingly rare. Guess what? I was the 1 in 10,000. I now have to live with a debilitating complication that has necessitated me having a machine implanted to try and mask the pain. Was it worth the risk, to live as I am now? No it wasn't.