Who said owes? Who said the pain and surgeries were his fault?
The point is that it’s his fucking turn. I’ve had to carry the significant burden of contraception, pregnancy and birth because biology. This is one thing he can do to contribute to that and if he balked at it I’d be extremely displeased.
I refuse to put myself through yet another invasive surgery when he could have a very quick procedure to sort it out. Fortunately I don’t need to argue for this because, having seen what I’ve been through, he insists on being the one to do it.
I am absolutely astounded at the dismissive way tubal ligation is being discussed here - tell that to the women with post tubal ligation Syndrome (tubal.org/symptoms-of-pts.htm), another women’s health scandal waiting to happen because - yet again - no one listens to these women or gives a shit. Very limited research has been done yet reports are consistent, and some of these women have been fighting for information for two decades.
Every abdominal surgery comes with a much higher than 1 in 10 risk of adhesions which can cause not just chronic pelvic pain but can affect bowel and bladder function. 93% of patients undergoing abdominal surgery develop adhesions according to one source (www.niddk.nih.gov/health-information/digestive-diseases/abdominal-adhesions).
I know exactly what a laparoscopic surgery involves thanks, I’ve had seven. And you can’t do a tubal ligation under local - you can do it under a spinal block which is very different to having a small amount of local injected into your genitals (speaking from experience of both). Spinal blocks themselves come with risks, as does GA of course. The fact that you’d call it a “local” demonstrates that you’re being disingenous. It took 45 minutes and 14 injections in my back to place the one spinal I’ve had, which caused permanent nerve damage.
If you breezed through laparoscopic surgery, perhaps a very small incision in your DH’s scrotum would have been even easier?
You simply cannot compare the two procedures whatsoever, let alone say that TL is quicker and easier than vasectomy unless there’s some massive medication mitigating factors.
So while it’s up to individuals in their relationship to do what’s best for them, I am saddened by some of these responses - we are so conditioned to putting up with my symptoms / side effects and issues relating to our fertility that some of us think it’s easier for us to have risky invasive abdominal surgery than for our partners to have a far less invasive procedure as an outpatient.