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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Daughter squirted a little juice over another buggy

464 replies

Millymollymandybestie · 15/06/2019 12:51

So I have just been to the park with my dd 3 and ds 20 months. Getting ready to leave and trying to put my buggy refusing ds in the buggy and he’s really struggling.

Dd has global development delay and suspected asd. I had her on her reigns looped over the buggy while I was sorting my son out. She was drinking a drink from a sports bottle and while I was turned away she squirted the empty buggy next to me. I said dd don’t do that and continued to get ds in buggy but moved dd away. And was going to dry the other buggy when they were both secure.

The owner of the buggy came over said to me - you just watched you daughter squirt that all over my buggy. I said I am sorry and I was trying to get ds in the buggy when she did it, and that moved dd out of way and dealing with dd before I Could sort out what mess she made. She said that wasn’t good enough. I said I’ve apologised and not much more I can do.

The way she was with me she was so rude- her mannerisms and tone. You could see I had tried to deal with the situation and you can tell my dd isn’t your average 3 year old. If it was me I would have just said don’t worry that’s what kids do ?

Stuff like this is one of the reasons dh hates taking the kids out.

Sorry rant over. It may seem like a silly little thing but I just don’t think there is any need to be rude

OP posts:
diddl · 15/06/2019 14:59

" If it was me I would have just said don’t worry that’s what kids do ?"

It's not just what kids do though is it?

That said, mine never had a drink when out & about unless sitting/standing drinking it.

SkintAsASkintThing · 15/06/2019 15:05

Fucking hell. The weird ones are out in force on Mumsnet today 😂😂😂

Op, you did all you could. You apologised, moved your DD and offered to clean it up. The only thing I'd change is next time you come across hysterical types who lack the empathy and intelligence to realise a woman struggling with 2 DC deserves a.little compassion. Is to post on the SN board instead to moan about your encounter. The mums on there are pretty used to the likes of that woman, sadly.

It was a.drop of juice.......I think you're doing very well. Now you just need to learn not to.care what others think, your DC deserve a childhood. Well done you for picking yourself up each day and getting them out there even when you know at some point youre going to struggle. It will be worth it in the long-term

OhForkItThen · 15/06/2019 15:07

Ok, I have five and a middle one has SN. What happened has happened but you need to get a little more used to handling the inevitable. Park buggies at the end, remove items unless watched etc. If your ds is that hard to get into the buggy is there a solution? A cheapie with easy harness? Letting him walk a tiny distance to tiredness also on reins. Just relax and problem solve. Maybe go back to double (the city jogger for example fit mine until age 7 and made journeys safer)

My own dd at that age would have dismantled neighbouring buggies! Or poo smeared or something horrific. Get used to smiling and getting in first and apologising saying she has SN. Or gesturing apologies etc.

I’m saying this not for the benefit of others, but to chill you out. It requires more planning and a thick skin but is doable. Also do they really really love this place? Do you? Or o you feel you should. If it’s the latter sack it off

ittakes2 · 15/06/2019 15:17

I get you - but I also get if something is spilt the priority is stopping it soaking in not getting your child into his seat first.

StoppinBy · 15/06/2019 15:24

YANBU and she was being pretty insensitive to not see you doing your best with your youngest to get him strapped in so you could then deal with the juice.

How were you meant to clean it with a screaming, wriggling toddler in your arms?

quizqueen · 15/06/2019 15:25

Yes, you should have told your daughter off properly.

No, you shouldn't have sticky juice in a bottle- water is not sticky, better for the teeth and all those e numbers may be detrimental to your child's behaviour!

Yes, you should have offered to clean up the mess.

Lastly, if the other mum is so precious about her buggy, she really shouldn't leave by other people and children!

SkintAsASkintThing · 15/06/2019 15:34

QuizQueen........would you like to advise everyone on how to 'tell off' a disabled 3 year old with extremely limited understanding ?

Don't hold back, enlighten us.

Sleepyblueocean · 15/06/2019 15:35

"I get you - but I also get if something is spilt the priority is stopping it soaking in not getting your child into his seat first."

No making sure your children are safe comes first.

The sort of telling off that is required depends upon the level of understanding of the child.

NCbilliontimes · 15/06/2019 15:35

I think yabu. If it had happened to mine I’d have been livid. My buggy cost nearly £1800 and I keep it immaculate. If I’d seen someone let their child squirt juice into it I’d probably have words.
I also have a DD with asd so I know how difficult it can be, but even now she’s older, I’m aware she’s unpredictable and I watch her like a hawk so she can’t do stuff like that.

gamerchick · 15/06/2019 15:36

Yes, you should have told your daughter off properly

What does 'properly' look like for a child who wouldn't understand? Is it for her benefit or the pissed off adult?

MotherOfDragonite · 15/06/2019 15:37

To be honest I understand your being upset at how she talked to you (especially because you had been going to clean it up and felt attacked by her suggestion that you hadn't done anything). But you never know what struggles other people are going through either, and I can definitely imagine that it could feel really upsetting to see sticky juice getting on a buggy that doesn't have removable covers which most don't and feeling that the parent responsible wasn't doing anything about it. Maybe it was an expensive buggy, maybe she needed it sell it on to make money back, maybe she also has a child with special needs or sensory issues who then wouldn't be happy to get in a wet buggy. Who knows. She obviously couldn't see your side of things, which must have been upsettting. But I wonder if you can see her side a little and move on.

ShittensAndKittens · 15/06/2019 15:37

Also dd won’t drink water - she had a seizure last year and wouldn’t drink before it so my main concern is making sure she is drinking enough and if I try and give her water she will just nag for my boob instead ( which I’m trying but struggling to stop)

quizqueen yes, you should have read the OP's posts before wading in and telling her off for giving her child 'sticky juice' Hmm

BlackberryBeret · 15/06/2019 15:38

Tbh I would have been annoyed if I had to put my child back down into a wet buggy so I think yabu

In that situation the priority is to remove the bottle from the childs hand if she doesn't do what you say and stop her bad behaviour that has consequence for another person and their child. You can put the other child into the buggy later. A short delay & minor inconvenience for you v. making another buggy wet and sticky.

Sirzy · 15/06/2019 15:38

My buggy cost nearly £1800 and I keep it immaculate.

Then I presume you wouldn’t leave it unattended in a play area full of children then....

Bahhhhhumbug · 15/06/2019 15:38

Yes OP lm deadly serious. When posters suggested you should have maybe signalled you were going to or attempted to clear up the juice you brought a dangerous gate access to a pond into the equation as the reason you dealt with your kids first, yet you said you were putting son in buggy and daughter was attached to buggy so they weren't in danger of getting thru a gate to a pond at all at that time.

MotherOfDragonite · 15/06/2019 15:38

And give up the juice! Children will drink when they're thirsty. Juice rots their teeth, and if you've got a child who is liable to squirt it all over things then I'd definitely give it up!

Sirzy · 15/06/2019 15:39

And give up the juice! Children will drink when they're thirsty

You don’t know much about autism do you?

MotherOfDragonite · 15/06/2019 15:41

Start by diluting the juice and then dilute it more and more until it's just water. Then it's less of a shock.

Sirzy · 15/06/2019 15:41

I stand by my last point!

MotherOfDragonite · 15/06/2019 15:43

@Sirzy No, I stand corrected -- just had a google about lack of thirst. I can see that tactics need to be different and they may need reminding. I am sure that it's possible to switch to water though and it would be a lot better.

gamerchick · 15/06/2019 15:43

My buggy cost nearly £1800 and I keep it immaculate.*

Then I presume you wouldn’t leave it unattended in a play area full of children then

Or even use it for what it's for. Just carried and placed artistically so it can be admired Grin

I didn't even know prams could come with a price tag like that in the normal world.

Sleepyblueocean · 15/06/2019 15:47

How do you keep a buggy immaculate and let the child play. Mine gets mud, grass, sand and leaves all over it.

Kennehora · 15/06/2019 15:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pomegranatemolasses · 15/06/2019 15:48

@Celebelly
And because she had to cancel those plans, her partner got so annoyed that it was the last straw and their relationship broke up. So because they weren't married she had to leave the house and she and her children are now homeless. Oh and she's also got a crack addiction.
All because a bit of juice got on her buggy sad
Seriously made me laugh Grin

Op there are some ridiculous people on this thread. YANBU and I hope the rest of your day improves. Ignore the loons on here.

NCbilliontimes · 15/06/2019 15:57

How do you keep a buggy immaculate and let the child play. Mine gets mud, grass, sand and leaves all over it.

We just look after stuff, not that difficult.