Daughter squirted a little juice over another buggy

[Millymollymandybestie]

So I have just been to the park with my dd 3 and ds 20 months. Getting ready to leave and trying to put my buggy refusing ds in the buggy and he’s really struggling.

Dd has global development delay and suspected asd. I had her on her reigns looped over the buggy while I was sorting my son out. She was drinking a drink from a sports bottle and while I was turned away she squirted the empty buggy next to me. I said dd don’t do that and continued to get ds in buggy but moved dd away. And was going to dry the other buggy when they were both secure.

The owner of the buggy came over said to me - you just watched you daughter squirt that all over my buggy. I said I am sorry and I was trying to get ds in the buggy when she did it, and that moved dd out of way and dealing with dd before I Could sort out what mess she made. She said that wasn’t good enough. I said I’ve apologised and not much more I can do.

The way she was with me she was so rude- her mannerisms and tone. You could see I had tried to deal with the situation and you can tell my dd isn’t your average 3 year old. If it was me I would have just said don’t worry that’s what kids do ?

Stuff like this is one of the reasons dh hates taking the kids out.

Sorry rant over. It may seem like a silly little thing but I just don’t think there is any need to be rude

boobirdblue Don’t exaggerate. She simply stated that her children had the choice of breast milk or water. Why people have an issue with that I do not understand. My child drinks juice because she wouldn’t drink water, my other child lives on special milk and is fed through a tube. I found no offence in someone mentioning the type of milk their child had. Grow up.

I'm pretty anal about parents needing to parent and teach their children but '3yo kid makes sticky mess in playground on other kids stuff' sounds pretty normal to me.

The woman is overreacting and/or she was partly justified in what she said.

The woman was upset your child deliberately squirted juice on her buggy. She was upset as she believes that you saw what happened, ignored it and didn't appear to either stop her or reprimand your child in any way.

Your attitude from what you've posted appears dismissive towards 'a little bit of juice'. I suspect you are minimising how much juice was squirted onto her buggy. A small splash wouldn't be 'a mess to sort out'. It doesn't matter if you aren't precious about your buggy - this is her buggy.

It is hard work being a parent to a child with GDD/ASD and you have a small baby as well. It sounds like both you and your partner struggle with excursions in general and that other stuff has happened previously that makes your partner hate taking the kids out.

I wonder if your frustration with the difficulties of being a parent of two is being misplaced onto the rude, squirted buggy woman? She doesn't matter. What matters is support for you in managing your two young children.

@Aaarrgghh thanks for your tag, I still stand by @DecomposingComposers being totally sanctimonious in her attitude. Also telling a "grown up" to "grow up" is fucking pathetic.

Biancadelrioisback Sun 16-Jun-19 10:58:42

Why the fuck are you lot arguing about poo and wee? Breastfeeding and vomiting?
OPs child splashed a bit of juice on the footrest of another pushchair. That has sod all to to with whether your child has a poonami or not...

The comments about eating and drinking in a buggy were posted in order to highlight the fact that food and drink are often going to be spilled in a buggy by the passengers themselves, so it is not reasonable to tear rashers off the mother of another child who has squirted a little juice on the footrest of your buggy.

Then some posters claimed that they never fed or watered their DCs in a buggy, as part of an argument that a buggy can and maybe should be kept immaculately clean. Which was fair enough as far as it went.

Then it was pointed out that the little bottoms that sit in buggies are wearing nappies for a good reason - that they are incontinent both in regard to bowel and bladder, and that nappies are not failproof. Apparently this is not the case either. Good parenting choices ensure that a baby or toddler will never experience a leaking nappy or - heaven forfend! - a poonami. Spitting up or vomiting are likewise to be expected as a result of poor parenting/choices. The gist of the argument being that it is possible to keep a buggy pristine, and therefore the woman who walked over to berate the OP was perfectly reasonable even though she could clearly see that the OP had her hands full.

While theoretically it may be possible to keep a buggy looking as if it is brand new (and therefore the other woman was not being an utter cow) nobody has explained why this is a desirable or reasonable aspiration.

myshinywhiteteeth I don’t struggle with excursions.

Your post reads to me like your implying both me and my husband struggle parenting which is quite insulting

Sorry, I don't mean to be insulting. You wrote in your op:-

Stuff like this is one of the reasons dh hates taking the kids out.

You are managing two young children. It is hard work with just one. Any parent would find it hard.

Most of the replies prove the majority of MNs are loopy

Sorry myshinywhiteteeth must have misread the tone of your post.

I meant with my husband stuff like my dd was eating sand and he was about to deal with her. And someone felt the need to run over the him and shout she’s eating sand you know. For example

I think all parents get to deal with that sort of person - critical, interfering and thinking they know best with their experience solely of NT children. I always try to think well of them - they are just trying to help and don't mean to be so irritating. Father's do seem to get it worse though. 'A man in charge of a child!' What next!

@MyShinyWhiteTeeth, the OP did 'appear' to stop the child doing it. She moved her away. That's a pretty big, obvious movement which would be apparent to any observer.

Why have you decided that the OP has chosen to lie about the amount of juice that was spilt? It would be pretty pointless posting to ask opinions re the spillage of a few teaspoons if the buggy was drenched with half a pint or so.

What matters is support for you in managing your two young children.

Shit happens even with the best will and support in the world. With 2 under 4, one with additional needs, the shit just tends to be bigger, noisier and less predictable!

Do you know what I could do with as support for managing my child with complex needs in public? A bit more kindness and understanding and a bit less tutting, eyerolling and staring. (Its been a long day!)

'I think you should have made more fuss, eg told her off sharply then cleaned the buggy'

As a continence nurse, do you find this approach works with adults with additional needs? If you shout aggressively enough at a person with dementia, can you fix their BPSD?

Or is it just children who can be verbally abused out of their disabilities?

Sashkin

Who are you actually asking that question of? Only, as far as I know, I am the only person on the thread that has said I am a continence nurse and that post you quoted is most definitely not mine!