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Original poster

Daughter squirted a little juice over another buggy

464 replies

Millymollymandybestie · 15/06/2019 12:51

So I have just been to the park with my dd 3 and ds 20 months. Getting ready to leave and trying to put my buggy refusing ds in the buggy and he’s really struggling.

Dd has global development delay and suspected asd. I had her on her reigns looped over the buggy while I was sorting my son out. She was drinking a drink from a sports bottle and while I was turned away she squirted the empty buggy next to me. I said dd don’t do that and continued to get ds in buggy but moved dd away. And was going to dry the other buggy when they were both secure.

The owner of the buggy came over said to me - you just watched you daughter squirt that all over my buggy. I said I am sorry and I was trying to get ds in the buggy when she did it, and that moved dd out of way and dealing with dd before I Could sort out what mess she made. She said that wasn’t good enough. I said I’ve apologised and not much more I can do.

The way she was with me she was so rude- her mannerisms and tone. You could see I had tried to deal with the situation and you can tell my dd isn’t your average 3 year old. If it was me I would have just said don’t worry that’s what kids do ?

Stuff like this is one of the reasons dh hates taking the kids out.

Sorry rant over. It may seem like a silly little thing but I just don’t think there is any need to be rude

OP posts:
squeekywheel · 15/06/2019 16:59

And the you have to work hard to look after it...

Why not just buy cheaper stuff? I genuinely don't get it.

Mud, sun cream, vomit can all stain parts that can't be put in the washer. The leather handle can split. The tires can wear out, particularly if going across rough ground regularly. How on earth do you physically stop all that?

Ivestoppedreadingthenews · 15/06/2019 17:02

I can't imagine giving it too much thought if I was the other parent. A mum with a toddler and baby (even if SEN isn't obvious) doesn't notice aa bit of drink spilt on my buggy. It's hardly crime of the century. If they had said sorry, I would have just said don't worry these things happen. kids hey?! Surely that's the reasonable response. Either this woman was having an immensely bad day/anger issues or has spent far, far too much and has too much attachment to her buggy. Her aggressive behaviour was far worse than the initial 'incident'.

CantspellWontspell · 15/06/2019 17:04

People being precious about a machine of use being less than pristine need to get a grip.

I’ve seen those parents who chastise their kids for getting wet, or paint on themselves or mud or sand because keeping stuff pristine is so much more important than children being children and I always feel so sorry for them. Stuff can be cleaned, it’s juice not permanent marker. Kids are impulsive and do “naughty” things. Kids with SEN more-so. If as a parent you can’t recognise another parent struggling in the moment to wrangle their children then you’re lacking in empathy, compassion and observational skills.

You were not being UR op but she was, pay no mind.

Ivestoppedreadingthenews · 15/06/2019 17:05

If someone spent £1800 on a buggy I have no sympathy whatsoever. I honestly think that is obscene.

Teddybear45 · 15/06/2019 17:05

My mind boggles that people accept treating an 1800 pound bit of baby equipment like crap just be because it’s a buggy. You should take care of it. No value for money!

pokepoke · 15/06/2019 17:06

My buggy isn't even expensive (in the grand scheme of buggies - it's around £300-350) and my second child is using it now but I just like to look after it by giving the chassis a wipe down, detach tyres and hose them down when they're really muddy. The wheels tend to be dirty but the seat and straps get washed every now and then so they look pretty immaculate. Being black helps too.

I don't think there's anything wrong with looking after your things by wiping and washing them regularly.

Teateaandmoretea · 15/06/2019 17:07

But they chose to spend 1800 quid on something to dump in a park and take out in the rain. What someones buggy costs is irrelevant to anything.

DecomposingComposers · 15/06/2019 17:09

squeekywheel

Why do people have to buy cheaper things just to guard against someone else damaging it? That's a bit if an odd way of thinking surely?

Even if I had the cheapest buggy available I still wouldn't have been happy to see another child pour juice over it and then know that my child had to sit on the wet seat and stain their clothes too.

We should all have the reasonable expectation that our possessions won't be damaged by someone else, regardless of how much they cost.

There's also a difference between wear and tear caused by me using my own possession and a third party deliberately damaging my property.

Pleasebequietnow · 15/06/2019 17:11

I get you - but I also get if something is spilt the priority is stopping it soaking in not getting your child into his seat first.

^This^

squeekywheel · 15/06/2019 17:15

It's not a case of treating it like crap though.

It's using it for what it's designed for and expecting to be able to take a bit of hard use, because of how much it cost.

I bought it because I could afford it and it suited my needs. It gets cleaned if dirty and fixed if damaged. Other than that, I'm sure as hell not going to be a martyr to the bloody thing or restrict activities in order to preserve it. That's insane.

BlueMoon1103 · 15/06/2019 17:15

If I’m honest, I’d be angry if someone made DS’ pram wet with juice which would be sticky. I’d have apologised and explained when she came over and cleaned it immediately, as well as reprimanding DD for doing it, regardless of SEN. Having SEN doesn’t give you a free pass to interfere with other people’s things. I’d have also got wipes out straight away so she could see you were going to clean it in case she thought you were just going to leave it. If I was the Mum whose buggy was sprayed I’d have come over to see the damage and then probably asked for help cleaning it...

@GraceSlicksRabbit it doesn’t matter if the Mum did treat it as precious or if it did have a frilly pink blanket inside. You respect other peoples’ things! If she wants to keep her buggy clean she should be able to, you don’t allow your child to ruin something because you think it’s over the top! Hmm tf is up with Mumsnet?!

mathanxiety · 15/06/2019 17:18

What do you mean that's all she could do? She could have got tissues or wipes and cleared the mess!
Whisky

Not until she had secured her DS in the buggy, which she was still doing when the rude woman came over to berate her.

Would you expect her to let her DS run off while she tried to save a buggy? Or to get the wipes and do the wiping while holding onto a toddler with one hand?

ichifanny · 15/06/2019 17:18

Honestly it’s annoying but she should have plastered a smile on and said don’t worry about it , why cause aggro over something that wasn’t intentional
HOWEVER aside from that it is annoying when people don’t react when children misbehave there’s something infuriating about it . I see it constantly in soft play and at parks and it’s so annoying I’m not sure I’d bother taking some on about it though .

Also can we stop with ridiculing people for looking after their things I keep our pram lovely and clean , I don’t give a shit of some people just leave mashed up quavers in theirs , don’t assume all other people their baby equipment like shite .

Sirzy · 15/06/2019 17:18

My mind boggles at people spending £1800 on a buggy!

I had to spend £800 (half funded by charity thankfully) on an off road wheelchair for ds as his one from WS just doesn’t work on a lot of surfaces and I hated having to spend that much - it is far from pristine though Grin

DecomposingComposers · 15/06/2019 17:19

You respect other peoples’ things! If she wants to keep her buggy clean she should be able to, you don’t allow your child to ruin something because you think it’s over the top

Yep, this. The least you can do if your child has damaged someone else's property is to apologise and then attempt to rectify it.

Goldmandra · 15/06/2019 17:19

Also if the child was not reminded that is unacceptable behaviour, particularly to someone else’s belongings

She was! Confused

This thread has brought out the worst of MNers. I'm bemused as to why so many posters are twisting and ignoring information to make the OP sound unreasonable.

I thought the point of MN was parenting support.

The OP didn't let the child do anything. She stopped her as soon as she was aware and prevented her from doing it again.

She addressed the behaviour in a developmentally appropriate way.

She couldn't just put the toddler down to clear up the mess because he could have ended up in the pond.

Nobody in their right mind would carry their child home because a few teaspoons of juice has gone on their child's buggy. They would sit the child on a coat, spare nappy or piece of spare clothing, if anything. Lots of parents would just flick the juice off and sit the child on the slightly damp patch. It's not actually going to harm them and they're unlikely to feel it through clothing.

Give the OP a break.

Original poster
Millymollymandybestie · 15/06/2019 17:19

Thanks for all the sensible replies. I have calmed down abit now. But tbh my thinking is still the same I would always deal with my kids first and something material second.

I did apologies and and would have cleaned it up had she not gone off in a huff ( I did clean up my daughters poo she smeared all over a public toilet the other day so would have been more than happy to clean up a little bit of juice.)

Some people read far to much into the wording of posts.

Some of the posts are just bonkers

OP posts:
LillyBud · 15/06/2019 17:20

If someone's child threw drink into my pram and the mother hardly acknowledged it and carried on leaving I'd be annoyed too. If my own DC had done that I'd have made them clean it themselves straight away and found the mum to apologise and tell her I have tried to clean it off. SN or not, your child needs to be taught manners. Having suspected ASD doesn't mean you don't have to parent her.

Teddybear45 · 15/06/2019 17:20

As I said, no value for money

Sirzy · 15/06/2019 17:21

Police “so how did your toddler get into the lake?”

Mum “well a drink was spilt on another peak so I let go of him in order to clean it up immediately rather than getting him safe first”

Yup that would go down well! Back in the real world most people but keeping children safe before keeping possessions pristine

SleepingStandingUp · 15/06/2019 17:21

I still wouldn't have been happy to see another child pour juice over it... a third party deliberately damaging my property* fair point but pointless as that isn't what happened. A 3 yo squirted her pop, it got the pushchair. Op hardly stood there, enptied the bottle over the pushchair and laughed!

ichifanny · 15/06/2019 17:23

Another angle My eldest has aspergers he’s now 15 but as a toddler he would have refused to go in a wet buggy and I’d have ended up carrying him home .

mathanxiety · 15/06/2019 17:24

It was a park so would have been enclosed not a main road was it!
BigRed

It was apparently near the gate and also near a pond.

SleepingStandingUp · 15/06/2019 17:26

@LillyBud except op clearly didn't Ahae time to clean it up. Only a shit parent would have let go of the 20 month old to wander off whilst she goto ut the baby wipes and instructed the 3 yo on how to clean the buggy up. A sensible parent moves the kid out the way, secures the flight risk kid and then cleans up the mess.

It's utterly ridiculous that people expect a parent to put a child's safety AFTER property

Original poster
Millymollymandybestie · 15/06/2019 17:27

I’m sure half of the posters aren’t actually reading what i have written

OP posts:
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