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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Daughter squirted a little juice over another buggy

464 replies

Millymollymandybestie · 15/06/2019 12:51

So I have just been to the park with my dd 3 and ds 20 months. Getting ready to leave and trying to put my buggy refusing ds in the buggy and he’s really struggling.

Dd has global development delay and suspected asd. I had her on her reigns looped over the buggy while I was sorting my son out. She was drinking a drink from a sports bottle and while I was turned away she squirted the empty buggy next to me. I said dd don’t do that and continued to get ds in buggy but moved dd away. And was going to dry the other buggy when they were both secure.

The owner of the buggy came over said to me - you just watched you daughter squirt that all over my buggy. I said I am sorry and I was trying to get ds in the buggy when she did it, and that moved dd out of way and dealing with dd before I Could sort out what mess she made. She said that wasn’t good enough. I said I’ve apologised and not much more I can do.

The way she was with me she was so rude- her mannerisms and tone. You could see I had tried to deal with the situation and you can tell my dd isn’t your average 3 year old. If it was me I would have just said don’t worry that’s what kids do ?

Stuff like this is one of the reasons dh hates taking the kids out.

Sorry rant over. It may seem like a silly little thing but I just don’t think there is any need to be rude

OP posts:
Whisky2014 · 15/06/2019 13:13

I think the women’s annoyance comes from the fact that it appeared to her that you had seen your dd do that and in her perception you did nothing about it. Exactly!

gamerchick · 15/06/2019 13:14

Mumsnet really is a weird place sometimes

Yeah it is but not in the way you're meaning I'd guess

GraceSlicksRabbit · 15/06/2019 13:15

She was understandably annoyed and probably could’ve been assuaged with a simple, polite and heartfelt apology. Why is this so difficult?

OP did apologise. What is so difficult about reading the OP properly?Hmm

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 15/06/2019 13:18

Unfortunately op unlike her's not everyone's kids can be "perfect little Saints' Hmm

PutyourtoponTrevor · 15/06/2019 13:18

Did you read the OP Bigred? Maybe you should before you stick the boot in...again

Alsohuman · 15/06/2019 13:18

Some buggy owners (not you, OP) really need to get lives. It wasn’t the bloody glass coach.

Original poster
Millymollymandybestie · 15/06/2019 13:20

I told my daughter that’s she shouldn’t do that but I was not going to Shout at her as she doesn’t understand.

I was sorting my son out first as both dd and ds were opening park gate which is next to a pond. Do there safety was the priority.

OP posts:
Grumpbum123 · 15/06/2019 13:21

If it makes you feel better and this will probably out me, at a well known theme park my then 11 month old launched the half eaten jacket potato he was eating across the restaurant where it landed in a mans rucksack. We did a runner I expect he was cross when he found it but accidents happen plus I couldn’t stop laughing. She was maybe just having a bad day and your LO was an easy target - no excuses though!

Yabbers · 15/06/2019 13:23

Tbh I think you should have cleaned the buggy immediately

And do what with her children in the meantime? Make the kids safe, then deal with it, seems a perfectly ok thing to do.

Something similar happened to us on a plane. DD opened her drink and it soaked another passenger. We had put fizzy water into a water bottle with a straw, forgetting what might happen with the pressure.

We apologised profusely, offered to help clean it up, even offered to buy her a cake and a coffee or something off the gift trolley. She replied with a very terse “no, it’s ok, it’s not a problem” whilst her face made it clear it really was a problem. It was an accident, I’m not sure what else she expected us to do. I’d rather she had said how annoyed she was and got it off her chest than pretending it wasn’t but not doing that very well either. DD was so embarrassed, she kept asking if she should apologise again.

If you apologised and she wouldn’t accept it, that’s on her.

MarchionessOfCholmondeley · 15/06/2019 13:28

This reminds me of an angry mother who was cross with me when on my toddler twins took large gulps from another child's tommee tippee beaker that had been left on a chair at a toddler group. All tommee tippee beakers look the same to a 1 year old, my DD reasonably assumes it was hers.

I was told I should keep better control of my child, even though at that precise moment I was tied up trying to stop my other twin from doing something down right dangerous.

I filed that mother away in my brain as a stupid cowbag, and you should do the same with the woman from the park.

AppropriateAdult · 15/06/2019 13:28

Did you actually reprimand your daughter or was it just a casual "oh honey, don't do that" in a tinkly voice. If you actually reprimanded her for it then you did what you could. If you saw it happen and didn't provide a consequence then the other mother probably felt you'd just watched her do it and not bothered to punish the behaviour. I get annoyed if some kid does something to my belongings and the parent doesn't actually step in and parent their child or reprimand them.

Just out of interest, what sort of 'punishment' do you think would be appropriate for a 3yo with SEN who's committed the grave sin of squirting a bit of juice out of their bottle, Investigator? Hmm

cantfindname · 15/06/2019 13:30

Silly woman getting her knickers in a twist.. bet her precious child will have done the same if not worse.

Tip for a child who planks over buggy/car seats. Tickle his tummy and bung him in quick while he is laughing! Worked every time for me.

Aprillygirl · 15/06/2019 13:30

I would be annoyed if a child deliberately squirted sticky, wasp enticing juice over my DC's bugger, and appeared not to do much about it if I'm honest OP. I would probably just tut under my breath a bit, rather than rudely confront the mother if I could see she was clearly struggling though. Could you not put plain water in your DD's bottle in future if she is prone to do this?

Dungeondragon15 · 15/06/2019 13:31

She saw that your DD squirted juice onto the buggy and her comment that "you just watched her" suggests that she didn't see you do anything to stop it. In that situation I can understand her annoyance. I know you say that you moved her out of the way but she presumably thinks that you either didn't or you didn't move very fast.

MirriVan · 15/06/2019 13:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 15/06/2019 13:34

People these days are so bloody concerned with sticking up for themselves and being assertive they have no space left for awareness or empathy. YANBU OP.

Littleduckeggblue · 15/06/2019 13:36

Did you offer to clean it?

Celebelly · 15/06/2019 13:37

On a list of things to get upset about, this would be very far down my list. I always have my own wet wipes with us anyway so I'd just clean it up and that would be an end to it, especially if it was clear the parent was struggling with something at the time. I wouldn't waste any more time fretting about it ThanksIt's a bit of juice, not hydrochloric acid.

BigRedLondonBus · 15/06/2019 13:39

I have 4 children 2 with sen and I still would have cleaned it first. It was a park so would have been enclosed not a main road was it! And yes as pp said did you still offer to clean it when she came over? Sounds like you didn’t which would explain the reaction

LondonJax · 15/06/2019 13:41

It seems the other mum was a bit OTT but you never know what issues or problems she's going through either. She may have a child with SEN that will now kick up a fuss about being in a slightly sticky buggy until she can wash it down. Or it may have happened before to her and she's a bit p'd off. Or she's just a precious person.

Either way just put it to one side and maybe stick to water in the bottle.

missyB1 · 15/06/2019 13:43

Like others have said it would have looked like you didn’t address the situation at all and just carried on doing what you were doing. The other mum wouldn’t have heard your “oh don’t do that”. I would be annoyed if I saw a child squiring sticky juice all over my buggy and mum apparently ignoring the situation.

EssentialHummus · 15/06/2019 13:43

We did a runner I expect he was cross when he found it but accidents happen plus I couldn’t stop laughing

Am I reading this right? You didn't go over and apologize? Yes accidents happen but you have a choice in how you respond to them.

OP, I'm not sure. I'd have strapped DS in/half done it so he was secure then pulled out some wet wipes for the buggy. If she came over while you were still in the middle of wrangling DS she cant' really accuse you of not dealing with it - she didn't give you a chance.

Glitterblue · 15/06/2019 13:43

Yanbu. I don't understand the parents who act as if their child has never done anything remotely childlike in their life. My friend always feels the eyes boring into her in the playground at pick up time when her 2 year is kicking off and having a tantrum. I always think surely they've all experienced similar at some point, they're all parents! I'm sure you'd have dealt with the buggy after dealing with your children, it was most important to have your children safe and secure first.

lunar1 · 15/06/2019 13:48

I think it probably looked very different from her side. There is nothing more irritating that people not stopping their children doing things like this. You could have at least acknowledged it and said give me a sec I'll come wipe the buggy down.

She did over react, but your response wasn't great either.

My friends ds would never have got back into a buggy that another child had done this to. We didn't know at the time but he has now been diagnosed with Aspergers and would have gone into a complete meltdown over juice in a buggy.

howabout · 15/06/2019 13:51

YANBU

If the other woman saw your DD playing up then she should have been helpful and moved her buggy out of your way. Instead she watched you struggle and then complained at the inevitable consequence which she could easily have prevented.