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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Daughter squirted a little juice over another buggy

464 replies

Millymollymandybestie · 15/06/2019 12:51

So I have just been to the park with my dd 3 and ds 20 months. Getting ready to leave and trying to put my buggy refusing ds in the buggy and he’s really struggling.

Dd has global development delay and suspected asd. I had her on her reigns looped over the buggy while I was sorting my son out. She was drinking a drink from a sports bottle and while I was turned away she squirted the empty buggy next to me. I said dd don’t do that and continued to get ds in buggy but moved dd away. And was going to dry the other buggy when they were both secure.

The owner of the buggy came over said to me - you just watched you daughter squirt that all over my buggy. I said I am sorry and I was trying to get ds in the buggy when she did it, and that moved dd out of way and dealing with dd before I Could sort out what mess she made. She said that wasn’t good enough. I said I’ve apologised and not much more I can do.

The way she was with me she was so rude- her mannerisms and tone. You could see I had tried to deal with the situation and you can tell my dd isn’t your average 3 year old. If it was me I would have just said don’t worry that’s what kids do ?

Stuff like this is one of the reasons dh hates taking the kids out.

Sorry rant over. It may seem like a silly little thing but I just don’t think there is any need to be rude

OP posts:
Teateaandmoretea · 15/06/2019 13:52

Of course yanbu, some people are just constantly looking for an argument and seemingly don't understand that they have to share the world with other people.

Don't give it another thought.

m0therofdragons · 15/06/2019 13:52

I'd be irritated if a parent watched their dc squirt juice in my buggy and made no effort to clean it up. You just get a babywipe or look round for owner and apologise and make it clear you intend to clear it up. Maybe the other parent was having a crappy time too?

Maybe stick to water for dd to prevent sticky messes.

Mamamooligans · 15/06/2019 13:55

Going against the general consensus here... But I would be upset, she would of either had of cleaned her buggy at the park and if she couldn't she'd have to carry her child home, which may of been awhile away, as well as push a sticky wet pushchair. Then after the potentially very difficult trip home get the thing washed and dry, meaning if she had other plans she'd have to cancel them until she could get out and about again. Its a massive nuisance to her really and I can very much see why she would be upset. You did say in your post you were going to dry it after, but she probably didn't realise that, I think as well as apologising you should've dried it to try and try and make amends.

I can completely see why she was upset. I think you should've put your toddler down and stop your 3 year old doing it, whether it'd be moving her away or taking the juice off her. Or depending on her level of understanding used a firmer tone so she'd know to stop. Which is what I would of expected or would do myself if I saw my child doing that to someone elses pushchair.

You've said you can tell she isn't your average 3 year old, assuming at first glance? If not, then its possible she was also quite shocked she didn't know your 3 year old didn't already know not to do that too and that you weren't telling her off! Regardless I'd agree it wasn't really good enough that you didn't literally stop her from doing it. This might of meant the other mama had a veryyy difficult and stressful trip home, reschedule doctors appointments, cancel plans etc whilst getting fabrics in the machine and then waiting for them to dry.

If your 3 year old has a global development delay and suspected disabilities, I assume you use a double pushchair for her as well as your toddler? Perhaps next time you could try putting her in first? Just as an idea for going forward for next time. She seems to be below the understandings of your 21mo(assuming they don't also have delays), so it may make more sense to get her secure first? Just as an idea for going forward to make sure they don't do something like that again if they can't understand not to do that!

RomanyQueen · 15/06/2019 13:57

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Goldmandra · 15/06/2019 13:58

You saw what your DD was doing, told her not to do it in a developmentally appropriate way and moved so she couldn't continue. You continued to secure your other child with the intention of mopping it up as soon as he was strapped in and safe. You clearly can't just let a toddler run free unmonitored, even in a park so after he was strapped in was the first opportunity to clean up the juice.

When the mother appeared, you apologised and expressed your intention to clean it up.

I can't see what more you could do.

Yes, the juice might have soaked in a bit and the buggy might have been wet for her child (it also might have been water resistant and wiped completely dry). However, most sensible parents carry some spare clothing in their bag, so I'm sure she had something the child could have sat on.

She's a drama queen at best. Don't give her another moment's thought.

MadamMMA · 15/06/2019 14:03

If it had been my buggy I would have approached you but only to see if you needed a hand and tell you not to worry about it, we should be supporting each other and every parent should know that a 3 year old is unpredictable and it’s a pain corralling more than one sometimes

MadamMMA · 15/06/2019 14:04

Oh and some people are always spoiling for a fight, I worry about their hearts

Original poster
Millymollymandybestie · 15/06/2019 14:05

JUst to be clear it was a tiny little bit of juice. The buggy was no way near soaked.

I didn’t actually realise my daughter hadn’t done this till I looked upend saw she was messing with the buggy next to us then realised what she had done - so I didn’t watch her do it. If she was watching me she could see I was dealing with ds.

I did apologies to the woman. Explained I was about to clean it.

I was with by myself with dd and ds. She was there with her ds and dh so If she saw my dd was starting to mess with her buggy one of them could have moved it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Millymollymandybestie · 15/06/2019 14:07

Also dd won’t drink water - she had a seizure last year and wouldn’t drink before it so my main concern is making sure she is drinking enough and if I try and give her water she will just nag for my boob instead ( which I’m trying but struggling to stop)

OP posts:
Sirzy · 15/06/2019 14:09

My main concern here is that you said you where trying to get them in due to a safety concern with the gates BUT then said you couldn’t see what she was doing.

Could you get some reigns or similar so you can keep hold her while sorting the younger child?

KurriKurri · 15/06/2019 14:09

But I would be upset, she would of either had of cleaned her buggy at the park and if she couldn't she'd have to carry her child home, which may of been awhile away, as well as push a sticky wet pushchair. Then after the potentially very difficult trip home get the thing washed and dry, meaning if she had other plans she'd have to cancel them until she could get out and about again. Its a massive nuisance to her really and I can very much see why she would be upset.

My God - how do people cope with ordinary life ? A massive nuisance ? Cancelling plans because a bit of juice got on your buggy ? If everyone took this attitude no one would every go out. Young kids = mess and accidents, most people go out prepared with a pack of baby wipes or whatever, or a tissue. It was a bit of juice not a lorry load of liquid manure.

the woman sounds barking OP - I would dismiss it from my mind safe in the knowledge that most people can mange to be sensibe about trivial, slight mess, child related incidents.

NewAccount270219 · 15/06/2019 14:13

Was her child much younger? A lot of people think they're going to be much better parents when their children are X age than the people whose children are currently that age. I'm sure she thinks her child will never do such a thing (she may also think they'll never drink juice in the first place). They get their comeuppance in the end!

Original poster
Millymollymandybestie · 15/06/2019 14:16

DD was on reigns which were looped over the buggy so I knew she was stood next to be but not watching what her hands/ upper body was doing

OP posts:
randomsabreuse · 15/06/2019 14:17

@Sirzy she was on reins - looped over buggy...

Sirzy · 15/06/2019 14:20

Sorry I missed about the reigns.

Bahhhhhumbug · 15/06/2019 14:23

Your dd was hooked onto pushchair with her reins and you were wrestling baby into pushchair, so how is it they were now trying to or opening a gate that led to a pond. Interesting the woman's perspective differs so wildly from yours too. She said covered in it, you said a little splash so maybe by 'time you noticed' another few squirts had gone on and soaked in. Also was it any kind of blackcurrant etc, those coloured drinks are a bugger to get out.

SleepingStandingUp · 15/06/2019 14:26

It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong OP but i suspect all she saw was a little girl squirting the juice / messing with the buggy and a mum doing the "oh don't do that darling" routine with no indication you were going to wipe it down.

Re you can tell my dd isn’t your average 3-year-old people don't, unless they have experience of GLD or ASD or other learning delays, they just see what the expect to see.

ColaFreezePop · 15/06/2019 14:26

@Grumpbum123 Naughty but you made me laugh.

I've found crisps and sweets in my hood from sitting in front of small children on the bus before, I would be very confused if I found a potato in my bag.

Original poster
Millymollymandybestie · 15/06/2019 14:28

bahhumbug are you being serious ? We were in the park - they had been running round for abit so bit tired and realised they could open the park gates (which there is 2) with a pond opposite. So I put my daughter on the reigns and looped them over the buggy while I dealt with my toddler.

Also the bottle was nearly full still so yes it was a little bit of juice not soaked

OP posts:
SingingSands · 15/06/2019 14:34

she would of either had of cleaned her buggy at the park and if she couldn't she'd have to carry her child home, which may of been awhile away, as well as push a sticky wet pushchair. Then after the potentially very difficult trip home get the thing washed and dry, meaning if she had other plans she'd have to cancel them until she could get out and about again.

Well... that escalated quickly... in your imagination 😂

A bit of juice splashed on a buggy. That is all. A wee bit of juice! Life goes on!

WeWantJustice · 15/06/2019 14:35

Oh fuck her and her buggy.

Seriously, don't give this nob another thought.

LadyRannaldini · 15/06/2019 14:39

But surely she was 'calling you out'. to use the MN mantra, about your child's behaviour. I love thise spats that would probably have been viewed quite differently had the roles been reversed!

Celebelly · 15/06/2019 14:44

And because she had to cancel those plans, her partner got so annoyed that it was the last straw and their relationship broke up. So because they weren't married she had to leave the house and she and her children are now homeless. Oh and she's also got a crack addiction.

All because a bit of juice got on her buggy Sad

BlackCatSleeping · 15/06/2019 14:45

She's probably one of those weirdos who treats their pram like a precious item.

For some people they are a precious item. They can cost a lot of money, so it's easy to understand why people might get upset about them. Some people like to keep their buggies nice so they can sell them on.

It was an accident, so not worth getting upset about, but I can understand why she was mad.

GreyCloud0 · 15/06/2019 14:59

Some prams cost hundreds of pounds and I wouldn’t be pleased if your daughter was spilling juice into it.

I don’t think the women was rude as she was clearly unhappy that you weren’t watching your DD properly.