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AIBU?

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Original poster

Daughter squirted a little juice over another buggy

464 replies

Millymollymandybestie · 15/06/2019 12:51

So I have just been to the park with my dd 3 and ds 20 months. Getting ready to leave and trying to put my buggy refusing ds in the buggy and he’s really struggling.

Dd has global development delay and suspected asd. I had her on her reigns looped over the buggy while I was sorting my son out. She was drinking a drink from a sports bottle and while I was turned away she squirted the empty buggy next to me. I said dd don’t do that and continued to get ds in buggy but moved dd away. And was going to dry the other buggy when they were both secure.

The owner of the buggy came over said to me - you just watched you daughter squirt that all over my buggy. I said I am sorry and I was trying to get ds in the buggy when she did it, and that moved dd out of way and dealing with dd before I Could sort out what mess she made. She said that wasn’t good enough. I said I’ve apologised and not much more I can do.

The way she was with me she was so rude- her mannerisms and tone. You could see I had tried to deal with the situation and you can tell my dd isn’t your average 3 year old. If it was me I would have just said don’t worry that’s what kids do ?

Stuff like this is one of the reasons dh hates taking the kids out.

Sorry rant over. It may seem like a silly little thing but I just don’t think there is any need to be rude

OP posts:
Goldmandra · 16/06/2019 00:13

What are you even talking about?

If you genuinely don't understand, I think you may be in the wrong job.

DecomposingComposers · 16/06/2019 00:16

If you genuinely don't understand, I think you may be in the wrong job.

I don't understand because I have no idea what you think that I have said. I've said that neither of my 2 had nappies that leaked - do you think that is offensive in some way?

mathanxiety · 16/06/2019 07:37

I am the poster who stated correctly that babies are doubly incontinent. You misread me if you thought this only referred to when they are in a pram or buggy.

This means that they are not in control of bowel or bladder function. This is true until at least 12 months and in many babies/toddlers, even longer.
It doesn't mean that their nappies leak.

In fact, they wear nappies because they are not continent.

mathanxiety · 16/06/2019 07:39

The reason to bring up the topic of babies' nappies leaking was to highlight the impossibility of keeping buggies pristine.

I.e. because they are designed to ferry leaky little people around.

itscallednickingbentcoppers · 16/06/2019 07:48

It's a buggy not an ornament. I feel sorry for her kid if shes that anal about a bit of juice!

hazeyjane · 16/06/2019 07:50

Do incontinence nurses give out different advice to continence nurses? You seemed sniff about children drinking juice between meals, but surely if a child has constipation you would advice them to drink anything when ever they will?

DecomposingComposers · 16/06/2019 07:57

mathanxiety

I'm not sure that I understand the point about double incontinence if you aren't talking about nappies leaking though.

If they don't leak then it has zero effect on the cleanliness of the pram, hence why I thought that was what you meant.

To clarify, we never had a nappy leak so the pram was not affected by that.

DecomposingComposers · 16/06/2019 08:00

hazeyjane

I only worked with adults and also my children didn't have constipation so it wasn't an issue. They were happy to drink water because, apart from breast milk, that's all they had ever had.

If you want to give your child squash or juice or fizzy drinks then that's up to you. We chose not to.

itscallednickingbentcoppers · 16/06/2019 08:00

'I think you should have made more fuss, eg told her off sharply then cleaned the buggy'

I wouldn't make a scene of being a dick to my kid just to please some other mum who's precious about her buggy. 'Don't do that' is enough for a first offence.

Sirzy · 16/06/2019 08:02

Again decomposting is doing a great job of showing her ignorance!

For a lot of parents, especially those with children with additional needs, giving juice (not crack or anything just juice) isn’t a choice. It’s a necessity because most parents pick keeping their child alive over making some sort of better parenting point!

DecomposingComposers · 16/06/2019 08:06

I think the reaction that you get depends very much on your attitude.

We had a woman slam her car door into our car in a car park. Rather than apologise she immediately went on the defensive, saying she couldn't help it and it was only a small dent. Had she said sorry and meant it my reaction would have been very different.

If you do something that adversely affects someone else you should apologise and attempt to make it right surely? Why minimise it or blame the other person for over reacting?

You can't control the reactions of other people. Unfortunately if you do something that affects them then their reaction to it is outside of your control.

DecomposingComposers · 16/06/2019 08:08

Sirzy

Then if that's what you need to do then do it.

I didn't need to do it and so I didn't. Why is that a problem to you?

You make your decisions about how to parent your children and I'll make mine.

Sirzy · 16/06/2019 08:10

The problem is your making sweeping judgments based only on your experience.

DecomposingComposers · 16/06/2019 08:19

The problem is your making sweeping judgments based only on your experience.

Am I? What sweeping judgements have I made?

boobirdblue · 16/06/2019 08:29

I only worked with adults and also my children didn't have constipation so it wasn't an issue. They were happy to drink water because, apart from breast milk, that's all they had ever had.*

How fucking sanctimonious you are!

Nice nice at formula feeding g mothers their. Again your parenting style to me is awful!

TeamUnicorn · 16/06/2019 08:36

It's a buggy not an ornament. I feel sorry for her kid if she's that anal about a bit of juice!

This is exactly what I mean when I said about the dreadful stuff being directed at the other Mum. We have no idea why she reacted like she did, posters are saying that we need to be kind to the OP as she is dealing with a lot, well maybe the other Mum is too. She may well be a dreadful person but it is impossible to tell from a one sided snapshot story.

I have already said that I don't think the OP was being UR, but it has to extend both ways.

Lizzie48 · 16/06/2019 08:36

And I believe I'm right in concluding that your DC don't have SN? You therefore have no understanding of what it's like to have a DC who struggles to see the connection between actions and consequences. When my DD1 is in one of her rages (even at 10), she still can't see the connection. Though now she will understand once she's calmed down.

At the age of 3, she was very similar to how the OP describes her DD, with very little impulse control. Thankfully, we didn't have DD2 with us then, so we didn't have to divide our attention.

I also suspect that you're like some other people with adult DC, you've forgotten how hard work it can be when you have 2 small DC to keep control of both of them. The OP has it extra hard because one of her DC has SN and the other is a 20 month old escape artist. So you really don't have a clue.

I'm also intrigued by your DC whose nappies never leaked. Did they never puke in their buggy either? If not, that's definitely just good luck not to do with your parenting. Grin

PortiaCastis · 16/06/2019 08:43

What a lot of fuss over a squirt of juice!!! Don't sweat the small stuff life's too short to get knickers in a twist about something so trivial.

boobirdblue · 16/06/2019 08:45

This is exactly what I mean when I said about the dreadful stuff being directed at the other Mum. We have no idea why she reacted like she did, posters are saying that we need to be kind to the OP as she is dealing with a lot, well maybe the other Mum is too. She may well be a dreadful person but it is impossible to tell from a one sided snapshot story.

Judging by sone of the batshit posters on here it could very likely be the other mother being anal.

We've got I'm keeping my buggy immaculate,

Child shouldn't have juice between meals obviously.

Why did the child have a drink, maybe because they were thirsty?

Maybe the OP could t sit very naicely on a bench sipping sterilised water and watching the older DD like a hawk because she had to balance the needs of her younger child as well?

We've had I don't allow any food or drink in the buggy, so out shopping and 3 year old asks for a drink it's wait until we can get to a suitable place before I allow you to quench your thirst, how bad is that!

It's I cleaned them up after they'd be playing to ensure the buggy stays immaculate. No matter if they were tired and wanted to sit down, no I'll clean you totally of any mud or splashes or anything, because the buggy is a golden chariot not a mode of transport for small children.

So many people all about the buggy and not about the child, I find it beyond belief.

Sockwomble · 16/06/2019 08:49

'I think you should have made more fuss, eg told her off sharply then cleaned the buggy'

No a child's behaviour should be managed in a way that is appropriate for that child, not to appease other people.

Helix1244 · 16/06/2019 08:55

Mine have never been sick in pushchair. But have had lots of nappy leaks which in car seat travel system. And been sick in the car twice.
I think nappy leaks are pretty common with bf babies especially when strapped into something. Of course though car seats etc have only come in during my lifetime.
Now i know how messy having kids is i wouldnt choose the most expensive prams etc and i walk so much the wheels are pretty worn down.
My kids dont get squash/juice as it makes them crazy (especially fruit shoots) and i do find it makes them drink more but probably too much as it's a guzzle it down.
I do find they dont drink but this was especially at school/nursery and anyway they cant take anything but water.

ragged · 16/06/2019 09:09

So sorry you got this grief off precious-buggy woman, OP.
3 yr olds do daft things & can be difficult to control.
If someone thinks that's bad parenting, wait until you see what mischief your teenager gets up to...

bourbonbiccy · 16/06/2019 09:10

So your daughter squirted a little bit of juice on her buggy, I'm assuming the buggy owner actually seen it happen, or she would not have mentioned it if it was only a drop would not have seen it from afar.
It seems a strange choice of word to say "you just watched her" squirt it all over my buggy"

To be honest I don't think either of you were really that out of order, you had intentions of cleaning up NBU. She was annoyed your daughter squirted her juice into her pram NBU. It happens.
She may have not realised your child had SN and thought you should have reacted differently, her child may have had something going on and not want to use the pram now it been dirtied.

Both have said you but not knowing the others situation - no one got hurt.

bourbonbiccy · 16/06/2019 09:12

Sorry that should say

Both have said your piece not knowing each others situations - no one got hurt.

yoursworried · 16/06/2019 09:14

God people are so aggressive these days. A little bit of juice on a buggy is so far from a big deal. If someone had done this to me, as long as they said sorry then I would have laughed it off. Little kids do silly things and it can be hard work taking kids out, especially with SEN. Forget it op.

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