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AIBU?

Bridesmaid posted a photo of my dress on Facebook

829 replies

Titsntats · 15/06/2019 07:21

I know I probably am but just wanted to hear others opinions on whether they would be sad about it or if I just need to get a grip!

Getting married soon and after trying on a lot of different dresses I finally found the one, something I never thought I would due to being very body conscious and anxious. Went back for final fitting at the weekend and took one of my bridesmaids as she wanted to see

After finishing the appointment and getting home I saw that she had posted a photo of me in the dress on Facebook (during the appointment so it had already been on an hour or two when I saw it) and tagged my partner in it saying she bets he couldn’t wait to marry me and how lovely my dress is. When I asked her to remove it her response was ‘it doesn’t matter if he’s seen it he’s a man so he will have forgotten what it looks like in 5 minutes time’. My dad had also seen it as well and it was going to be a surprise for him on the day too

I just don’t know what to do or how to feel! I am so gutted that it now won’t be a surprise to my partner or my dad. She knew how much that meant to me and the only thing I had asked for was that details of how I will look on the day were kept a surprise from my dad and partner. As I paid in instalments the dress is now fully paid for and I don’t have time to get another one and do all the alterations etc. Someone tell me I will stop feeling like this soon!

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LaMarschallin · 15/06/2019 08:01

pre-post message, the Daily Mail are cunts

Totally.
.
But, just as a by the by, does this sort of thing actually stop any of the press using a story?
Or can they just redact it?
Worst case scenario, does it draw their attention?

Sorry. Don't mean to derail.

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FionasWineShow · 15/06/2019 08:01

It also seems so incredibly under-hand.

She crystal clear knew you wanted it to be a surprise, but asked to come with you to the fitting, and posted - and tagged you - on Facebook.

She knew exactly what she was doing - ruining something really special for you.

Why?

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BlueThesaurusRex · 15/06/2019 08:01

I think bridesmaid needs to see this thread... if she’s not massively apologetic and give a decent explanation as to why she shared it then she’s gone!

Is she very young?

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Handsoffmysweets · 15/06/2019 08:02

jacky she did it because she’s a stupid thick cunt. That’s it really 🤷🏼‍♀️

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diddl · 15/06/2019 08:04

It's odd enough that she did it-but to then not apologise straight away & take it down was horrible.

I know times/attitudes change & some people are so focussed on social media they just put anything & everything up without thinking, but I thought that keeping a wedding dress secret was something that people still do/know about.

But as I said even if she puts so much on SM that she did it without thinking, her reaction was awful.

I'd be really tempted to uninvite her possible I think.

If not, she'd soon be an ex friend as I don't think that I could get past her reaction.

To not say sorry & just brush it aside

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BillywilliamV · 15/06/2019 08:04

She did it because her on-line “story” is more important than your real-life!

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Eustasiavye · 15/06/2019 08:04

Can you even trust her not to be posting pictures of you On the day before you get married?
I don't know what I would do. Does she have form for being like this? If so sack her off, no more bridesmaid and quite frankly I doubt you would miss her if she didn't attend your wedding at all.

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MorondelaFrontera · 15/06/2019 08:04

She could have been over excited by her dismissive reply is just not on.

WHO does that? For once, I agree she is a bitch, ditch her as a her bridesmaid. Yes, it's only a dress and it doesn't matter, but it does to all the brides. It's your wedding dress. I hope she has now removed it! Don't hesitate to comment on it asking her to.

Once you get rid of the , don't worry about people having seen you. Of course you wanted a surprise, but a photo in a shop, in a dress not properly fitted, without your hair, make up, accessories, your flowers and happy smile.. it's not the same as your wedding day.

Most people genuinely won't remember, and you will look different even to your dad and partner. A quick photo and the actual dress on you in real life, it's not the same.

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KindnessCrusader · 15/06/2019 08:05

I'm the least confrontational person that ever lived, but if that had happened to me she would have been swiftly relieved of her bridesmaid duties and her invite to the wedding.

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Eliza9919 · 15/06/2019 08:06

I wouldn't let her come to the wedding now, let alone be a BM.

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Willow2017 · 15/06/2019 08:07

Deliberate act making it all about her. What a total bitch.
Dump her pdq she is not a friend. She wants to ruin your day. Jealous? Fancies your oh? Who knows who cares it was a nasty, spiteful thing to do knowing full well you (and most brides) wanted to keep dress a secret.

What else has she done to undermine you make you feel bad?

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GhostRidersInDisguise · 15/06/2019 08:08

Holy fuck! It doesn't get much worse than that! I would bin her off from my life forever and probably go out and find another dress. What a hateful moronic bitch!

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nimski · 15/06/2019 08:08

Ditch her as bridesmaid immediately. She is not your friend. She was way out of order and really spiteful and insensitive.

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OhJustElfOff · 15/06/2019 08:10

I say this as someone who couldn't have cared less if the whole world saw my wedding dress before the day - your BM is a fucking cunt who was deliberately trying to make you feel bad and steal your thunder, she will be no loss as a friend, get rid.

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RumpoleoftheBaileys · 15/06/2019 08:10

Oh hell no.

She would no longer be attending my wedding.

Remember that you will look totally different on the big day - hair, make up, accessories and that ‘glow’ all brides get. Your father and DH will remember that, not the picture.

But again, what a spiteful cow.

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RedHelenB · 15/06/2019 08:10

I wouldn't be annoyed about her doing it but not taking it down when you asked and were upset about it means she isn't the friend she should be.

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Deathraystare · 15/06/2019 08:11

If she is still being your Bridesmaid I would ask someone to bring it up in a speech as not a thing a good friend would do, etc etc.

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MummBraTheEverLeaking · 15/06/2019 08:11

Not 100% but I've seen initial posts with those kind of things beforehand and so far no update to say it's been picked up by that rag. Here's hoping!

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NameChangeNugget · 15/06/2019 08:13

She clearly has issues and isn’t a true friend.

Her pathetic hunger for “likes” seems to be more important than your friendship.

She’s not an idiot or thoughtless, she’s an utter cunt.

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notforonesecond · 15/06/2019 08:14

No one on earth would think that was a normal thing to do. Bin her off, she’s not your friend.

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Sleepyquest · 15/06/2019 08:15

That is not on and everybody knows that's not what you do! Therefore she did this on purpose out of jealousy or bitterness and you should ditch her before she ruins your wedding in another way

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FallingStar · 15/06/2019 08:15

I'm lost for words! I can't believe someone would actually do that! I'd uninvite her to the wedding without a doubt.

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SheWoreBlueVelvet · 15/06/2019 08:17

Sorry but EVERYONE knows that a wedding dress is a surprise.
Awful attention seeking thing to do.

Traditionally it’s considered bad luck for the groom to see the dress. You could sack her for that alone (its not true obviously, you’ll be fine) but I can’t see her being any help on the day and you’ll worry about what she’s up to.

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Littleduckeggblue · 15/06/2019 08:17

Send her a link to this thread. Sack her

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Nofilter101 · 15/06/2019 08:18

That's spiteful. She wouldn't be bridesmade or friend

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