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Bridesmaid posted a photo of my dress on Facebook

829 replies

Titsntats · 15/06/2019 07:21

I know I probably am but just wanted to hear others opinions on whether they would be sad about it or if I just need to get a grip!

Getting married soon and after trying on a lot of different dresses I finally found the one, something I never thought I would due to being very body conscious and anxious. Went back for final fitting at the weekend and took one of my bridesmaids as she wanted to see

After finishing the appointment and getting home I saw that she had posted a photo of me in the dress on Facebook (during the appointment so it had already been on an hour or two when I saw it) and tagged my partner in it saying she bets he couldn’t wait to marry me and how lovely my dress is. When I asked her to remove it her response was ‘it doesn’t matter if he’s seen it he’s a man so he will have forgotten what it looks like in 5 minutes time’. My dad had also seen it as well and it was going to be a surprise for him on the day too

I just don’t know what to do or how to feel! I am so gutted that it now won’t be a surprise to my partner or my dad. She knew how much that meant to me and the only thing I had asked for was that details of how I will look on the day were kept a surprise from my dad and partner. As I paid in instalments the dress is now fully paid for and I don’t have time to get another one and do all the alterations etc. Someone tell me I will stop feeling like this soon!

OP posts:
EL2019 · 15/06/2019 07:49

You’re not overreacting.
As she didn’t apologise and delete immediately and instead doubled down, I’d sack her as bridesmaid. I’d be seriously thinking about I inviting her completely as she seems the type to sabotage rather than support.

Is the photo deleted yet?

EL2019 · 15/06/2019 07:50

That should say “uninviting completely”

LaMarschallin · 15/06/2019 07:50

You A only BU in that you think you are "probably" BU. IYSWIM Smile

This is at best a stupid and at worst a vindictive thing to do. Not one poster here so far (and I bet there'll be more) thinks this in way justifiable.

I know the cry is "sack her"; can you without causing further problems or making yourself more upset?
If so, I would.

You will stop feeling sad, I'm sure. You might move on to feeling angry though.

The main thing is, try not to let this spoil your and your fiance's day. And my best wishes for a really lovely one Flowers

Happinessbegins · 15/06/2019 07:51

Has your fiancé actually seen the post?

RebootYourEngine · 15/06/2019 07:52

She would be an exbridesmaids.

LaMarschallin · 15/06/2019 07:52

PS If it would be in any possible/appropriate to show her this thread, I would do so.

MadeForThis · 15/06/2019 07:53

What a bait he. Her reaction after you spoke to her says it all. Dump her.

Dvg · 15/06/2019 07:53

Who does that :S You have to be pretty stupid to not know that you dont do that o_0

Itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis · 15/06/2019 07:54

Everyone knows the tradition is the dress is secret. I know that and I am fairly unmoved by most bridal nonsense. To tag your fiancé as well means she was determined to do it.
I’d tell her you don’t want her to be your bridesmaid any more. She’ll kick up a fuss but anyone she bleats about it too will think she’s a dick. Move on and away from this person. Marry your partner and build a life together. As far as df seeing the dress before the day, it will look even better with your hair and makeup and happiness.

foreverhanging · 15/06/2019 07:54

You poor thing op. What a horrible thing to do and then to dismiss it with a stupid sexist remark. How shitty of her! EVERYONE knows you don't post pictures of the brides dress. What are you going to do op? Has your fiancé seen the post or can you ask him to not look at it until it's down?

seven201 · 15/06/2019 07:54

What a bitch! Everyone knows you shouldn't do that. I'd sack her off. If the Facebook post is still there I'd comment on it saying you want it to be removed immediately. That should shame her enough to actually remove it.

MummBraTheEverLeaking · 15/06/2019 07:54

pre-post message, the Daily Mail are cunts

And so is she! Fucking hell!! Sack sack sack the nasty cow, and yes take a picture of her dress put it on facebook, tell everyone what she did, say she's sacked, rescind her invite and tag her. Job done. Live by the sword and all that...

The fact she wasn't even mortified shows she is not a friend, she shoved your friendship under the bus for showing off and likes.

And yes to the pp about her probably doing it on the morning of the wedding as well. Hopefully your DF turned facebook off swiftly the second he saw what it was so he won't have seen it for long. Maybe sit down with a marathon tv session of 'say yes to the dress' and by the end of it he'll have seen so many dresses he won't recall which one was yours!

neverendingflorist · 15/06/2019 07:55

You are definitely not being unreasonable. I can’t believe she did that. Not on at all.

As the damage is now done and you have paid for the dress can you get yourself an amazing veil?

Monny1 · 15/06/2019 07:55

That’s not on. I would be really upset. Is it a friend or is it family?

BookwormMe2 · 15/06/2019 07:55

Um, this is fake, surely? No one is that stupid/bitchy/clueless about wedding etiquette.

Sparklybanana · 15/06/2019 07:56

Who does that? Is she completely stupid or does she hate you because I really can’t think of another reason why someone would do that.

I would say she wasn’t invited anymore because she’d ruin the day - what else will she do? However, I’d just concentrate on the wedding. At the end of the day, nothing matters except the man standing next to you. If you hold on to that reason alone and laugh at the rest, you’ll have an amazing day.

Hippywannabe · 15/06/2019 07:56

Awful thing to do. Is she a relative?

JeSuisPrest · 15/06/2019 07:57

I'd be changing her dress for the most hideous fucking monstrosity I could find and make sure she's not in any of the photos. What a bitch.

Jackyjill6 · 15/06/2019 07:57

OP, you must have looked so beautiful she wanted to share it.

I think she did it on impulse, not with bad intentions.

You will look still look gorgeous on your wedding day.

LaMarschallin · 15/06/2019 07:57

( thinks this in way justifiable.

PS If it would be in any possible

"in ANY WAY" in both cases. Godssake, LaM!)

Morgan12 · 15/06/2019 07:57

Absolute bitch.

I hope it's down now? If not I'd leave a comment on it for everyone to see saying how you have asked for it to be removed and it hasn't been yet.

Skittlesss · 15/06/2019 07:58

I’m shocked that anyone would think that was ok. A warning that you want to keep it secret isn’t even needed - everyone knows that no one sees the bride until the day!

FionasWineShow · 15/06/2019 07:58

It's just a dress, really not important in the grand scheme of things, and you will still look and feel amazing on the day, and in front of the people important to you....

...but this is so not OK...!!?

Who does this? Especially when you'd expressly said you wanted the dress to be a surprise. You don't have to say that - it's a given - but the fact that you had, makes it so much worse.

EL2019 · 15/06/2019 07:59

Someone tell me I will stop feeling like this soon!

Do you find you often minimise your feelings in order to ‘keep the peace’.

The only peace you are keeping is hers. If you say nothing, she gets to walk around with her peace undisturbed, while you feel terrible. Let her feel uncomfortable, let her be upset. You don’t have to hold it all for her.

lucy0132 · 15/06/2019 08:00

The dress will look very different with your hair and makeup done, flowers and a veil. A photo taken on a phone in a small space will not do it or you any justice either. I doubt your partner took in any of the detail even if they did see it.

I would most definitely be getting rid of the bridesmaid as that was a really spiteful thing to do - she's not a friend that's for sure.

You will have the most brilliant day and it will still be a surprise seeing it in person with everything coming together. Don't compromise on the dress you wanted and picked because of the post. You'll forget all about it once you're in the ceremony and for the rest of the day. Have a wonderful wedding Smile

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