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AIBU?

Bridesmaid posted a photo of my dress on Facebook

829 replies

Titsntats · 15/06/2019 07:21

I know I probably am but just wanted to hear others opinions on whether they would be sad about it or if I just need to get a grip!

Getting married soon and after trying on a lot of different dresses I finally found the one, something I never thought I would due to being very body conscious and anxious. Went back for final fitting at the weekend and took one of my bridesmaids as she wanted to see

After finishing the appointment and getting home I saw that she had posted a photo of me in the dress on Facebook (during the appointment so it had already been on an hour or two when I saw it) and tagged my partner in it saying she bets he couldn’t wait to marry me and how lovely my dress is. When I asked her to remove it her response was ‘it doesn’t matter if he’s seen it he’s a man so he will have forgotten what it looks like in 5 minutes time’. My dad had also seen it as well and it was going to be a surprise for him on the day too

I just don’t know what to do or how to feel! I am so gutted that it now won’t be a surprise to my partner or my dad. She knew how much that meant to me and the only thing I had asked for was that details of how I will look on the day were kept a surprise from my dad and partner. As I paid in instalments the dress is now fully paid for and I don’t have time to get another one and do all the alterations etc. Someone tell me I will stop feeling like this soon!

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froggybiby · 15/06/2019 07:29

I would ditch her as a bridesmaid. I have never heard of someone doing this Could she be jealous of you? It looks like it.

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CalmdownJanet · 15/06/2019 07:29

I hate the word cunt but it describes her perfectly! Dump her! That's absolutely shocking

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Sceptre86 · 15/06/2019 07:29

I would be so annoyed but sometimes people who are over invested in social media don't understand why they shouldn't post stuff even when it has feck all to do with them. I would have let her know that I was pissed off/ upset. If she is a dear friend and does not have form for this type of thing ( being inconsiderate) I would let it go. If not sack her as a bridesmaid and find someone else. You will look different once you have had your hair and makeup done and have that bride glow. Yabu though I would be unimpressed.

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WeCameToDance · 15/06/2019 07:30

That was seriously spiteful. There is no way that was an innocent mistake, she was deliberately trying to piss on your chips. I wouldn't want someone like that at my wedding. After pulling that little stunt I wouldn't trust her to not try something on the day.

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IggyAce · 15/06/2019 07:31

She is an attention seeking cow and I would let her know that her services as bridesmaid were no longer required. I’d worry about what kind of crap she’d pull on the wedding day.

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outofnothing · 15/06/2019 07:31

Who does that? Is she jealous or just attention seeking? So sorry for you.
Ignore it and focus on having a fab time and she's probably right in that the men won't remember it anyway

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Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 15/06/2019 07:32

There isn't anyone who doesn't realise that doing that is completely out of order.
I am the least wedding fuss person ever but I would not be happy, I have to agree with the others about having her as a bridesmaid. That's a particularly special kind of betrayal in my view.

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Orchidflower1 · 15/06/2019 07:32

I’d be livid! She wanted the glory of saying “look what I know” and to take your moment away from you. That’s nasty and manipulative. I’d want to ( but I wouldn’t) be posting a tagged reply of her dress the caption “ this is what the ex bridesmaid was wearing”
I would however be thinking if she can do this what else has she done / going to do. Can you really trust her? Do you want to keep the friendship. There was no way this was an accident.

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BurnedToast · 15/06/2019 07:33

That's awful

What you do next depends on how she reacted though. I would hope she realised what she had done and then apologised profusely. If not, I would say she's no friend.

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MaximusHeadroom · 15/06/2019 07:33

I would be fuming. It is a well known tradition not to see the dress before the day and she has no right to decide for you that you are not going to surprise your DH and family on the day.

It may only be a tradition and you may want to show people the dress beforehand but it is your choice to make, not hers.

It is like rushing to be the first to announce someone else's pregnancy or the gender of their baby. It is not always going to be a secret but it is not her place to share it.

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SillyMoomin · 15/06/2019 07:33

You’re not overreacting. And most bride requests are OTT, but seriously, how on earth does she think that’s ok?!

You can report photos to Facebook and get that removed that way if she refuses to take it down.

Another one who thinks she should no longer be coming to the wedding

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BruceAndNosh · 15/06/2019 07:34

Keep the dress.
Ditch the bridesmaid

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Cantthinkofanythingrightnow · 15/06/2019 07:34

Why the hell would she do that? What a spiteful cow. I wonder if she's jealous?

I would definitely sack her as a bridesmaid now unless you want your wedding morning live posted.

YANBU at all

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cochineal7 · 15/06/2019 07:34

I would be upset because of her reaction as that is very telling. If she had just been an over-enthusiastic unthinking idiot when posting these pics, the normal reaction would be one of profuse apology that it made you - her friend!- feel bad. And she would have taken it down immediately. That I could possibly forgive as we all make mistakes. But judging by her reaction she doesn’t care she made you feel bad, which is just not what friends are for. The dress issue itself: you cannot unring the bell, they saw it, but remember your DHtobe and DF will look at YOU; the dress is only part but not the whole picture. Wear it knowing how much you love it and how good it makes you feel. You will shine.

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Nooob · 15/06/2019 07:34

Do sorry op, I'm sure it will still be special!

I agree sack her, are you usually quite mild mannered? She's taking the piss. What a nasty woman.

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herculepoirot2 · 15/06/2019 07:34

Absolutely awful behaviour. Sack her.

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GloGirl · 15/06/2019 07:35

I have honestly no idea who would think that appropriate, and with that little foresight and empathy there's no way I would keep her as a bridesmaid.

Either she's cruel or hideously dense.

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TheStruth · 15/06/2019 07:35

Wtf! What a BITCH!
Get rid of her!!!

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Procrastination4 · 15/06/2019 07:35

I think it’s an absolute no-no to post photos of other people on one’s Facebook page, unless the other party/parties have agreed to it. Were you aware she was taking a photo of you? Very ignorant of her to take a photo anyway, and especially to post it on Facebook.

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Weirdwonders · 15/06/2019 07:36

She’s not a friend and her response is trying to minimise your genuine upset for something she knows full well is wrong. I’d sack her off - I think something’s amiss with that friendship.

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OliviaBenson · 15/06/2019 07:36

Wow. If I had seen the post I'd have thought she was an absolute dick for doing that. Who does that?! Bin her off as a bridesmaid. I hope the picture is down now.

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Sexnotgender · 15/06/2019 07:36

I was a super laid back bride, we had a tiny very chilled wedding and I’d have been absolutely livid if someone had done this (thankfully I had no bridesmaids!)

I cannot think of a single reason why anyone would think this was ok to do.

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Procrastination4 · 15/06/2019 07:36

P.S. I’d no longer have her as bridesmaid.

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DizzySue · 15/06/2019 07:36

Sack the bridesmaid. Without hesitation.
This is stupid and malicious, I really hope she's taken it down now? what a bitch.

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PixieDust26 · 15/06/2019 07:37

Omg what a bitch!
She didn't respect you at all and if someone done that to me I would refuse to have them as my bridesmaid or let them be at my wedding!

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