Back to address a few points, clearly some of you use mumsnet to enjoy a bit of speculation and drama. If that's your thing, watch Eastenders or something idk.
I am flabbergasted and slightly amused by some of the theories you have all come up with here!
Firstly, I am NOT the other woman. I never have been and have already stated that we hadn't even met until a year after they split.
To those who are shaming him for having left whilst his other child was so young, he had actually told the ex that he was unhappy before the child was even conceived but his ex claimed she was just grouchy because she was itching to be a mum and that everything would be perfect once she had a baby. He carries a lot of guilt for leaving when his daughter was young, and that's about all he has guilt about.
The ex in question has always expected a lot of him. She breastfed DSC and despite him working full time she would make him wake up with her in the night while she breastfed their baby. He couldn't feed her, but was expected to wake up every two hours despite going to work for 12 hours a day. I also bf my baby and do not expect him to get up at all because he is working and there is simply no point in him waking up to watch me breastfeed.
When he split from her, she said that she still wanted him to pay half of the mortgage, half of their bills, spending money etc and she took two months of his full income (barring car insurance, petrol etc) whilst he stayed at his mums with no money for himself whatsoever. Obviously he explained it was impossible for him to get his own place if he paid that much.
The matter never went to court, he just agreed to pay the amount.
I'm not providing a list of gifts, you all need go grow up and take your popcorn elsewhere if you like a drama.
I dont even know why I am explaining myself, i just wanted to know how to avoid him being upset... of course DP isn't bothered about the value of his gifts, he is selfless and would give you his last pound if he could. i just thought the message behind this gift was quite spiteful.
I just bought him nice little bits I know he could use because he never spends a penny on himself. I think he deserves to feel loved and valued and buying thoughtful gifts was the only way for me to do that because HE IS WORKING 9-9.
For those that are interested, we live in a poor area and have 3 rooms (one for his other baby). Its terraced and most of our neighbours are either on drugs or single mums on benefits that swear at their kids and stand around in their dressing gown smoking all day. I hope that explains my frustration when she works part time, has a large house in a nice area and md and my son barely sees him.
Before anyone says it, yes I knew he had a child when we met but I think its steep to be put off someone because they have a little one. Once I found out the extent of her piss taking I was already besotted, I'm hoping that's okay with you all.
Thanks to all that have stuck up for me, yes I was quite upset by a lot of the comments. I am happy to admit I should not have done that but I feel it has really been blown way out of proportion.
- I never asked if you all thought I should be concerned by the gifts he buys his ex for mothers day (I'm not)
- I never asked if it was uncool of me to peek (I already knew it was)
- I never asked for anyone to conspire as to whether I was the OW (I wasnt, and there was no OW)
The list goes on.... I am past caring how i coming across by this point, I'm just pleased to know I'm not the sort of person who would deliberately be unkind to another mum when they are looking for kind (or even just civil) advice. It is fine if you disagree with me but name calling is absolutely vile and childish behaviour that I expect from children, i find it ironic that some of you are saying that i must be young and childish!
I'd bet a lot of these people calling me a 'nutter', crazy, mental, mentally ill etc are the sort of people that share posts on Facebook about mental health awareness and how bullying is wrong for kudos but in fact are bullying people from behind their keyboard everyday. I'm not mental, or crazy not that those words are appropriate for anyone that does suffer with any form of mental illness. That said, I do take great offense to the language used.