Am I stuck up, or is colleague rude?

[Iltavilli]

I changed career last year, and am on a training programme for a challenging new role, which I take quite seriously.

The new job is in a highly regulated environment - which I’m used to - and o approach it as such. A colleague, also on the development programme, is far more informal. He’s happy to chat all day about tv, primarily programme I simply don’t watch (talent shows, love island, etc), given I’m more of a going to gigs and sports person, so we have little in common.

There was a meeting last week where I used a word he seemed not to understand. It’s wasn’t a complex word, but the most suited to the context. As he asked what it meant I explained. They then mocked me for using it. He’s a jokey person but this was mockery in front of others and felt mean.

I should note, he’s well educated (degree etc), but it isn’t the first time. He’s told me to “stop being so middle class” before - I’m not, parents grew up on council estates, dad a factory labourer till he retired.

So who is BU?

What was the word?

Him 100%

He felt threatened by you and has tried to make his ignorance your fault.

What was the word? Not that it matters, just being nosy!

As for middle class, just tell him to stop making assumptions about people. And then ask if he understand what you mean

As long as you weren’t patronising when you explained it then he is, I can’t be doing with inverse snobbery like this.

There’s nothing wrong with a wide vocabulary and not liking Love Island. It does sound as if you are very different people.

He's rude. No one would ever be able to widen their vocabulary if everyone stuck to familiar words. He sounds like an inverted snob.

You do sound a bit snotty about TV! Lots of people chat about the telly at work. It’s normal.

Was he rude though? Or gently mocking the OP for being pretentious/stuck up?

Who knows?

Agree we need to know the word (so how normal or pretentious it is).

I don't know. He wasn't embarrassed to ask for the meaning, so it's not like he pretended he knew.
I would say he has an annoying sense of humour more than anything else. He doesn't sound rude from what you wrote. You don't sound stuck up either, unless you comment on his choice of tv program!

Hollow
likesafisj it’s equally “normal” not to like some shows.
I don’t think OP sounds snotty at all, she just doesn’t watch the same programmes as he does.

Every single member of my family has had this for generations - being hassled for using 'big' words. It's pathetic, and it's their problem not yours. (I'm talking using words like 'exaggerate'. . .)

You sound patronising. What was the word?

I don’t know really... dh and dd take the mick out of me nicely because I have a posh accent and use longer words than they do. It’s all in good humour and we laugh about it. I guess it depends whether it was done in a friendly / jest type way.

Or...

Maybe he’s picked up the way you don’t really like what he chats about and is having a little passive aggressive dig...?

He sounds like a twat who’s projecting massively.

You do sound a bit snotty about TV! Lots of people chat about the telly at work. It’s normal

Lots of people also don’t though! Not everyone’s life revolves around TV..

We so need to know the word.

Bit reluctant to say the word, but he is known for asking surprising questions (which are columns / rows, what does “pervasive” mean)

You do sound a bit snotty about TV! Lots of people chat about the telly at work. It’s normal.

I don't think that I've ever had a discussion about TV with my current colleagues. We talk about our own lives though, and we all have the same demanded educational standards. We all have our own hobbies and backgrounds that give us plenty to talk about.

.

Op just tell us the word!

I really think he might be implying that you are taking your role in this 'highly regulated environment' a bit too seriously.

He’s happy to chat all day about tv, primarily programme I simply don’t watch (talent shows, love island, etc), given I’m more of a going to gigs and sports person, so we have little in common.

^^ makes me think that potentially you are a tad patronising.

@Iltavilli please tell us the word.

Please also tell me what 'pervasive' means because I don't know either...

Argh! The word was “key” in the context of explaining some data and how we’d analysed it. The idea was to create a key on the different categorisations.

I think the OP merely mentioned his TV watching habbits to explain that he talks about stuff that most people don’t watch as opposed to GoT of Handmaiden’s etc.