Would you sign this?!

[Istherealawyerinhere]

Would you sign something your PIL wanted after marriage to say that anything your husband inherits you have no claim to should you get divorced (and vice versa).

I just don’t think that’s how my marriage works and I think inheritance becomes OURS (from both sides) and would be ours if the worst should happen. But possibly IABU and people do this often?

Family lawyer here. Unless it was apart of a full pre-nuptial or post-nuptial agreement dealing with all aspects of your finances, with all of the necessary requirements for validity in place (including both having had independent legal advice, full financial disclosure etc) then it is not going to be binding upon you.
Even if you did agree that, with all of that in place, then your needs would potentially trump the agreement. So it depends whether your needs (housing etc.) could be adequately met without dipping into the inheritance funds.
I would get yourself some proper legal advice, and you are quite justified in refusing to sign anything they ask you to and you can tell them it will not be valid unless you have had advice anyway!

I would probably sign it to put his mind at rest. I wouldn't want him worrying that I was going to inherit his money if he didn't want me to have it.

I am assuming you are England and Wales jurisdiction

I absolutely would sign this if that's what the PIL's wanted because it's their money so they choose who gets it once they've gone.

Why should I benefit from money my in laws have spent their lives saving if I'm not even part of their sons life anymore?

I hate peoples idea of someone being entitled to 50% of everything if they're to get divorced, especially when they haven't contributed as much as their partner (I don't just mean financial contribution, obviously people contribute to their lifestyles in different ways, like SAHP)

Will they disinherit your husband if you don’t sign?

I wouldn’t.

I think you need to explain to your in laws that division of assets will depend on meeting the needs of any children and being fair to both of you. You can’t predict now what will be fair in future.

Also you can point out that it would only be legally binding if you and your husband each get legal advice and enter into a formal document, which is going to be expensive.

I would sign it. Its sensible. Why should my parents hard work and lifetime of saving benefit someone who I am divorcing?

Yes in England.

I just always assumed money inherited whilst together becomes “our money”. I don’t like the idea of his and my money. I am a SAHM too so fully reliant on him. It’s about money and property both. He is helping us to buy a house so not sure if that also means there’s a fraction of our house I won’t be entitled to either....

Very unpleasant discussing all of this.

I would sign it to keep them quiet. If you did divorce it wouldn't be valid as you haven't taken legal advice I presume ?

What does your DH say about it. ?

DH is quite unhappy about the whole thing as it’s not in keeping with the nature of our marriage ie that everything is both of ours. The document would also apply to my inheritance but I do not want that either, I want us to share everything.

I wouldn't

I suspect that unless his PIL believe you have signed a legally enforcement document confirming this that they will not leave anything for your DH to inherit. Do you have children or does your DH have siblings? If so, my guess is that they will inherit everything and your DH nothing to get around you not signing (it you don’t agree to it).

BuggaLugga

Thank you for all of that!

No, I wouldn't. What about future children. If the relationship goes totally tits up and he doesn't want to pay maintenance and they had died then half should go to benefiting them.

I'd also think they didn't like me very much.

As the first response said, it's not enforcable anyway.

I would sign it.

If I worked all my life to give my son a good inheritance, I wouldn't want his ex-wife to have any of it. I'd be more than happy for them to enjoy it together, as a married couple, though.

I'd also think they didn't like me very much

There’s this aspect too - I’m taking it quite personally!

It’s irritated me as I’m really not interested at all in the money!

it's not enforcable anyway

What’s the point then?

Presumably they don't know that it's not enforceable.

But the lawyer who sent the draft to my husband is a very good lawyer from a well known legal firm...PIL are offering to pay for me to see a different lawyer to have a look over it, but DH is saying if we don’t want to sign it he would rather say he’s not showing it to me, rather than saying he showed it to me and I said no...

No. I wouldn’t let my PIL have any say in anything that happened in my marriage, and nor would my husband.

If you haven't taken legal advice it's unlikely to be enforceable, so don't, sign happily, they leave everything to him, either

a. you're happily together and the assets belong to both

b. you aren't, and you contest on the grounds that you were pressured into signing without legal advice with the threat of them not helping you out with the house.

The only thing here which IS a problem is if they are referring to the house they're helping you buy - if they honestly think that what is going to happen is that its DH and PIL on the deeds or something - err no - if they're that batshit and controlling I suggest your DH asks them what they'd prefer - to help with housing as agreed no strings, or for you two and your family to be to walk away and do it all without them.

OP, if your husband isn’t happy about it, HE needs to tell his parents to sod off, doesn’t he?

Oh they're clued up then.

And sound pretty horrible.

I think it's time your DH came up with his own ultimatum - what do they want - to be in control, or to have a good relationship with their son's family?

Think you need to rethink the house contribution - it will not end well.

If you sign it, but DH isn’t happy about it then it would never get enforced?