Would you sign this?!

[Istherealawyerinhere]

Would you sign something your PIL wanted after marriage to say that anything your husband inherits you have no claim to should you get divorced (and vice versa).

I just don’t think that’s how my marriage works and I think inheritance becomes OURS (from both sides) and would be ours if the worst should happen. But possibly IABU and people do this often?

My parents had this sort of agreement in their marriage. When my grandfather died, my grandmother signed by dad as co-owner of the family assets (a farm and about 60 acres) - but it was under the priviso my mum (then 23 with 3 young children) signed away any entitlement.
Fast forward 37 years, and my parents have long since separated - my mum has never challenged her right to the land/property.
My dad is mid seventies and a similar agreement will be put in place for when he passes the land/property to me and my siblings.
My husband has a share of everything that we've built together, but I can't see why any spouse can lay claim to their assets of their spouses parents or grandparents.

In the same way I am now working hard to build an inheritance for my sons, I would hate to think its benefitted someone who may or may not be a permanent fixture in the family!

@Confusedbeetle

But he wouldn't be choosing what to do with it if she divorced him and took half. They want to know that the money they have earned and let to their son will stay with their son. They could die, and she could divorce him a year later and take half of their money. That's not fair and they don't want to risk that happening.

During your marriage, all money earned should be split. One of you may give up your career for the other to earn more, so you are absolutely entitled to half of that. You will jointly maintain a house, so should absolutely have half of that. But the OP has had nothing to do with his parents earning that money and to be able to take half of it, I think, really shouldn't be allowed. They should split assess, and keep their own inheritance in the event of a divorce. She shouldn't benefit from death of his parents if she is no longer a member of the family.

Wtf, why do you think you should be entitled to his inheritance AFTER YOU DIVORCE? It’s not an asset you accrued together during marriage. Yes I would sign it. I’d think twice about marrying a partner who wouldn’t tbh. But then I also just wouldn’t get married in general.

Sounds like this is triggered by them contributing towards a house for you.

If I was buying my son a house / part of it, I’d keep that share in my name precisely so he didn’t lose it in a divorce.

My children stand to gain a fuck of a lot if I die (I’m worth far more dead, with life insurance, paid off house and death in service benefits!). My will has it all going into a trust with trustees to manage it, so that it doesn’t all end up in the pocket of a (theoretical but potential) bad partner.

You and your husband have your own views and don’t want to sign - I respect that choice.

But I don’t think his parents have done anything wrong. And I think it’s sensible - and not personal at all.

Nope. I wouldn't.

DP and I have always pooled our money. His mother often makes reference to me spending 'his' money, and I like to remind her that he spends 'my' money too if that's the case. Because we've always pooled it, anyone who thinks they can dictate how our family's finances should be going forward can fuck off. And DP would be the one telling his parents that and if they didn't like it they can leave it to the Salvation Army or Dogs Trust or something.

Just out of interest, have your FIL or MIL inherited anything themselves? If so, did they sign something similar? I'm sure they would be affronted if anyone asked them to do that.

Do they have other children? Are they putting similar restrictions on them?

I've no legal insight, but TBH I'm a bit troubled by the amount of involvement your PILs seem to have in your lives. They're helping you to buy a house, and they're offering to pay for a lawyer for you?

I can't imagine anyone having so much say in my life with my DP.

Of course, if you are sure this is how your husband feels, you can just sign

I wouldn’t sign it on the basis that it’s not legally binding and therefore pointless. And I’d make sure PIL knew that they were wasting their time because the law would see an inheritance as a marital asset.

I wouldn't sign it. You've said neither you or your dh want you to. Hopefully he'll tell them you're not going to do it and eventually they'll give up.

I'd also keep quite a distance from them, I don't like their attitude towards you, it doesn't seem very kind.

I wouldn't sign it, and if poss get DH to say that he hasn't shown it to you as he doesn't want you to sign it on principle. You pool assets in a marriage and presumably you have no plans to split.

They'll probably leave the money to your DH anyway - I doubt they'd leave it to the local cats and dogs home just because they couldn't get a guarantee that your DH would keep it all in the event of a divorce.

Yea I wouldn't accept that and they are just being petty.

Its probably the only way they can ever say they don't trust you with a action like that. Or your husband tells lies behind your back.

Id refuse to get involved with them ever again and not get married, pity you cant win the lottery and then pre nup them back :D hahahaha. I really cant believe some people.

I wouldn't. Because that to me would one suggest they assume we will split up one day, two suggest I only care about money, and three they don't trust me. Just like I'd never sign a pre or post nuptial agreement for the same reasons.
And if we ever did split up I wouldn't be unfair anyway. I hope we would agree on a settlement and that would be that, I certainly wouldn't be interested in taking his parents money.

If they're that bothered about their assets can't they put a bloodline trust in their will? I thought they were designed to protect an inheritance so that it goes to direct descendants and protects from divorce etc?

I wouldn't sign - if they really wanted this sorted they should have organised this before you married their son but then maybe they though this would have caused a fall out with their son which they probably knew.

Now that you are already married it is too late and the fact that you have your husband on your side, you can tell them both to feck off.

then half should go to benefiting them.

Why should it unless those who have earned the money want it to? I think that this sounds quite sensible from their point of view and if you didn't sign then I would be looking to get round it another way. However your marriage is at the moment in the event of children and a divorce, battlelines become very blurred.

Ellisandra

You can put whatever arrangements in place that you want when you possess the money. Why should anyone else sign a document that helps you to do it? It’s none of their business at that point.

No, I wouldn't have signed anything and I would have taken it personally. I hope your dh tells them to jog on.

I can see this from the PIL point of view too though. We have worked hard for our money and we will help our children buy houses if they want. I am happy for their partners to benefit from this if they remain a couple but I'd be pissed off if they split up and the money ended up going to their partner.

Yep. I like my daughters' partners, but I am concerned about what would happen if anything were to happen to me, and then they split up soon after. One of them is getting married in a couple of months, and it is something that's bothering me slightly

I wouldn't sign. They can give to your dc in trust if they want to keep it from spouses.

I wonder how the PIL managed any inheritance they received?

Their interfering has potential to create a rift between you and dh. (Not to mention u and them). I wouldn't sign it.

ahem go to another solicitor privately to ask advice (not the one they mention) you go to law society website look up local solicitor who specializes in that part of law who offer half hour free & affordable interview

Yep. I like my daughters' partners, but I am concerned about what would happen if anything were to happen to me, and then they split up soon after. One of them is getting married in a couple of months, and it is something that's bothering me slightly

Isn’t the decision about whether to join his life and assets to another person’s your daughter’s to make?

@istherealawyerinhere

Not a fucking chance I would sign that. Nope!

The in-laws sound like nasty bastards to be honest. You have my sympathy.