Would you sign this?!

[Istherealawyerinhere]

Would you sign something your PIL wanted after marriage to say that anything your husband inherits you have no claim to should you get divorced (and vice versa).

I just don’t think that’s how my marriage works and I think inheritance becomes OURS (from both sides) and would be ours if the worst should happen. But possibly IABU and people do this often?

It's their money and it is inheritance regardless of how you want to see it to suit your agenda.

By not signing you are showing them why they had concerns in the first place for the document. Just like when one party refuses to sign a pre nup, to me it shows their true colours.

ssd

I will inherit a considerable amount from my parents by “normal” standards - it’s just pissing in the wind compared to what DH will inherit so is basically irrelevant to these discussions

I think sharing assets is one of the consequences of marriage. No one is forced to marry so, if it is a massive issue, maybe they should've suggested cohabitation.

Nc for this...obvious reasons.

I'm set to inherit much more than DH and I still don't agree with separating inheritance.

We share our finances, always have done. If we were divorced and therefore no longer sharing finances then it should obviously be separate but I would view it as family money if we were still together when either of us inherits.

Especially if the person asked to sign this document is already in a more vulnerable situation financially by being the stay at home parent and therefore reducing earning potential/pension etc.

I wouldn’t ask my dil to sign anything like this!

I probably would’ve signed a pre nup if DH had asked for it. It’s the fact that this isn’t my husband who wants it! It’s his family. But then I suppose I wouldn’t have been with my DH if he wanted the sort of relationship where pre nups were required.

I feel backed into a corner

Well talk to them then

My dh wouldn't let anyone do this. He'd tell them to piss off.

Let your husband handle this, if he makes the decision it shows you are strong and united.

Stop discussing anything. Just say you’re not interested. Let them do what they must. Don’t sign anything.

Agree with pps. Let your husband handle it.

lots of people saying here they wouldn’t want the money. But what if there are kids involved. If they went through a divorce in the future, the husband ended up being a twat and not supporting the children then yes I want that inheritance for the children. Not saying that’s the case with you op.

I can't believe anyone on here is saying this is acceptable. You are not a second class citizen in this marriage and potentially you will be the mother of their grandchildren.

I wouldn't sign it. What is anyone going to do about it?!!!

We have a child!!

If they die and several years later we divorce, that’s my concern, that I am not entitled to have any of it in the settlement.

DH and I are comfortable but his parents are astronomically wealthy

So you are bothered about the money then.

You have admitted that if you divorce you want a share of his inheritance.
Why should you have a share of his parent's money if you divorce?

I can completely understand why your PIL's want you to sign something as you have already admitted you want a share of his inheritance. How greedy! Very low moral compass you have.

If you divorce, you should only receive a share of the assets that you have acquired up with your husband and not his inheritance.

Just stop letting them make you feel small. You, your husband and your child are a family unit. He chose you and married you. That means if he divorces you, there will be a split of assets. At the moment the probability is that there will be an inheritance, but until that happens it isn’t your business. Ignore them.

Geminjes

Just lol at your post! 😂

his parents are astronomically wealthy. We are talking private jets

Given that you've said that you're going to get a large inheritance from your own parents, why do you think you should get half of your husband's (presumably MASSIVE) inheritance?

Also you can't, at this point, say what you'd do when you have a DIL of your own. It's not until you're in this position that you care.
Half of what I have now, was my late husband's. He didn't even get to meet our daughter's partners. So I'd be devastated if they went off with that money after divorcing my daughters.

Istherealawyerinhere

Just lol at your post!

I hit a sore nerve then.

Geminijes

The thing is, though, that isn’t the basis for marriage in this country. Assets are presumed to be shared because of the convention within marriage that “All that I have I share with you”, “for richer, for poorer”, etc. When you get married you add your spouse to your family.

I hit a sore nerve then.

The opposite! I think your post is silly. I mentioned the amount of money as a PP asked and it provides relevant context. I am very comfortable now and I don’t NEED the money. It is not about the money. It’s about someone forcing me into a situation eg I feel I have to sign now to prove something. It speaks volumes that DH is also unhappy about it all, because it feels like they have offered to help us but it’s contingent on me “proving myself” despite us having been together for a while and having a child and supposedly being part of the family. And it dictates how DH and I split our money (his inheritance becomes OUR, as mine does etc etc).

herculepoirot2

Exactly!

The fact you won't sign and wouldn't have married with a pre nup shows the money is clearly a factor. If you didn't care about it, you would have signed both if asked.

Don't sign it op. Stick with your dh and child, they are your priorities.
Your nasty in-laws are trying to stir the pot.
Why did they not mention it before you got married and gave them a grandchild?

Don't take any notice of some of the idiots on this thread, you know who you are and you shouldn't have to prove yourself of being married into the family.

icecreamandcandyfloss

Can you read? 😀 I literally said I would’ve probably signed one if DH asked me. Can’t you see the difference between being given a choice BY YOUR PARTNER before marriage, and being sort of coerced into it by in-laws AFTER marriage, when it’s “too late”