AIBU to ask those of you who've said they'll help with childcare....

[TheOrigFV45]

...over the summer in a vague "you know I'll always have him" sort of way, to actually make firm plans with those you know may really appreciate your kind offer.

I have friends who are willing to take my son for the day to play with theirs, or on days out, but unless I know well in advance, I will already have made more concrete plans with the childminder which means I either lose £ or my child misses out. The childminder is already getting booked up. If I don't book her now I risk having nothing in place.

OBVIOUSLY I know he's my responsibility, but if you're thinking of helping a lone working parent out over the summer, NOW is the time to make that offer. That parent will really appreciate it.

Yes, I'm resentful of absent other parent.
Yes, I'm resentful said parent is still being chased by CMS (case opened in Jan).
Yes, I'm sad that while I work full time my son is shuttled off to the childminder, while many of the SAHPs are arranging all manner of get togethers.

The discussion has moved on since the first post.

I'm not sure about all these comments saying it's the parents of one child expecting the earth from the parents of more than 1!!!

I'm a parent of one and it's me that offers to all of my friends who work the holidays that also happen to be parents of more than 1!!! In fact I'm the only one who does only have one so any offer I make to friends involves more than doubling my numbers of kids.

@Milkand2sugarsplease I’d say in my experience you are VERY unusual! I have NEVER had someone take multiple children for a play date. Individually they have been to many friends obviously, but beyond that, the only one that does big groups is us.

itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis I work on the idea that I can work around my son in the hols so if friends are struggling to find childcare I'll happily help out.
What does stand out for me in this thread is that when I offer, my friends aren't taking the piss and just after free childcare, it's usually that they're struggling to find childcare options, especially for the summer hols. I think it gets easier as they get older as they're happier to go off into new environments but I know some of my friends didn't like the idea of their reception age child (younger end of the year at that) going for odd days into an unfamiliar environment with none they knew. That's personal preference but my take on it was 'well I'm at home with DS, send them my way instead'. Sometimes it ends up costing me, other days it doesn't 🤷🏼‍♀️. I don't expect anything in return cos I know I've not got friends kids while they just jot their feet up and I also know I'm lucky to have the holidays off. I'd never assume friends would return the favour either - most of my friends end up with literally a couple of weeks a year as a family by the time they've used up the majority of their leave to cover holidays and that's with me (and another teacher friend) helping out.

It's your responsibility to make firm plans. I would never offer to babysit the children of people I know work because they are too much hassle and too annoying. Summer is my break from all their dramas. Plus protecting myself also. If they had an accident at my house I would not be covered insurance wise ( I don't have public liability)

and I also know I'm lucky to have the holidays off.

You’re not “lucky”, though; you’ve chosen a job that allows that and that therefore pays commensurately less than one where you’d be working more hours. (This is also true if you’re a teacher, it’s just the structure of working is different to that of a corporate job.)