to be abit peeved that DS age10 on sleepover -

[bamboowarrior]

was allowed to watch a 15cert film without the parent checking in with me first?

what age do you allow your kids to watch 12cert and 15cert and 18 cert films? wouldn't you, out of courtesy, check in with the parents first?

YANBU, I wouldn't allow a 15 certificate at 10yo. It'll be 15 for a reason. 12A possibly, maybe - very much depends on the content/subject though.

It does depend on the film. Without knowing you can't judge. For example some Harry Potters are age 13 but I'd allowed a 10 year old to watch all of them.

I really think it depends on the child and the film. If it was a comedy you could get away with it, a horror not as much. That said my DD watched Jurassic World when she was 4, I say she watched her, my DH had taken her out to the park, leaving me at home to watch tv, i put it on and they came back early, I went to change it and she wanted to watch it as she likes dinosaurs, it never bothered her.
On the alcohol thing, I was drinking Gin and Tonic at 13, not loads of it, but I was allowed a glass with a meal and I had the occasional shot of whiskey at home. I quit drinking about 8 years ago, just not interested in it at all.

Get over yourself OP. YABU. Poor kid must be mortified you're his parent. Stop being a helicopter parent and get in the real world.

My then 5 year old watched an 18 rated shark horror film at a sleepover. Parents didn’t tell me. He did afterwards. They were both hospital consultants! No lasting harm, he’s now an adult. But what arrogant souls they were.

I am really lenient with age ratings on films for my DCs, I know them and I know what they can handle. Gremlins, Terminator 2, Beetlejuice are all fine IMO from age 10 however I would never show any films rated older than their age if they had friends round unless I asked the parents first. Same with video games.

I am French, and half the family Christmas classic movies (les bronzés, le père Noël eat une ordure, ....) would be 18+ in other countries, because of the amount of "merde" said in the movie or the fact that on French beaches, many women don't wear tops, yet I have seen those movies since I was 6 or less and so have my children.

So to me, it depends on the movie. An horror, scary, thriller with a saw , not sure, a comedy no issue at all.

Alcopops are really not cool.

15 films... you’re the parent so yanbu but my 10-year old watches funny 15s with us. When he has people to stay I prefer them not to watch films at all and the Xbox is limited to strictly age appropriate games. So I guess I do think about other parents’ rules and you should have been consulted.

Of course yanbu. No one has the right to decide what is right for someone else’s child. It is completely irrelevant what the film was as the parents should have checked with you regardless.

I had to learn to be explicit after my son at 8 was playing grand theft auto. I would be annoyed.

Also with regards to those saying giving alcohol to under 16’s is ok - studies have shown the opposite:
‘Researchers have long known that the age at which a person starts drinking or taking drugs is a good predictor of whether or not he or she will develop an addiction. A person who starts drinking between age 11 and 14, for example, has a 16% chance of becoming an alcoholic 10 years later, while the odds are just 1% for someone who starts at 19 or older, according to one large study.’

I wouldn’t let other people’s dc watch an overage movie, even though I’m pretty chilled about it with my own. Pretty much all 12 certificate DVDs were 12a’s at the cinema, meaning any age can watch them with an adult present, so I’ve always treated them the same as a PG at home. Ds2 has been watching the Marvel movies since he was about 4, but I still wouldn’t make the choice for someone else (I have friends who I know are much stricter with these things as well). He’s 12 now and has seen a few 15’s (eg Venom) but I know what does and doesn’t freak him out. I’m also stricter about sex scenes, so although Deadpool probably isn’t anymore violent I’d be less ok with it for that reason (maybe in the next year or two though).

Did we ever find out what the film was?

Yanbu to be a bit peeved but this is a rite of passage and has been going since the dawn of time.
I managed to watch a video of The Exorcist at a girls 10th birthday sleepover and that was a long time ago now!!
I'd not allow my kids to watch that!! Or any 15s at the age of ten... but if they managed to get hold of some somewhere I'd not get too irate about it tbh. Of course they are going to try to do that... and they are only films not class A drugs! I'd rather child was comfortable being able to discuss anything which worried them that they saw in a higher certificate film, then being too scared to tell me they'd watched it for fear of my reaction.

If you look at some of the older (eg 80s and 90s film), the ratings are stricter so a 15s for eg as someone said Ferris Bueller because of cursing and then the proper horrors are 18s. Nowadays (god I feel old!) it's a free for all! There was a mother on here saying she watched Birdbox with her 12yo, I thought that was madness! I found Stranger Things tough too, I don't think I'd be letting them watch til about 15

Spider man venom was a 15. It was a 13 advisory in the USA which I think means younger kids can go in with parents. I think I'd be ok with my kids watching that for instance.
Maybe watch out for that, the first half of it has homeless people being experimented on and going insane. Nothing in the second half so it's a pity they did all of that or it would have been suitable for Spiderman fans (ie kids, although I said that to a die hard Marvel fan and he said he loved that so much of Marvel was close to the comics and so not kid friendly!)

alchopops at 10? are you joking????... fine for 14 onwards, under parent supervision but not 10. bloody hell.

To pps who have said it depends on the film, do you mean whether you would want to be consulted depends on the film, or whether you would say yes depends on the film?

The AIBU is 'should I have been consulted?'

OP Yanbu.

I was very strict about film watching outside the house but my kids told me ( years later) that their childminder allowed them to choose a film to watch in turns. The were eight and six. She used to choose ‘Cinderella’ and he used to choose ‘Terminator’.

They were unscarred as far as I could tell. I used to read every word of ‘The News of the World’ though forbidden when the parents were not around. Quite an eye opener! Quite an education.

I guess they should have asked but it would depend on the film whether I was bothered. I'd have hoped the parent used common sense. Something like Ted which is very sexually explicit and lots of drug taking absolutely no way. The films that I watched at 10 that were 15's such as top gun, and I'm sure there are many modern ones that are so rated due to bad language, action or the odd flash of skin absolutely fine

It's tricky because the ratings haven't really been consistent over the generations but I agree it does depend on the film.

Depends on film.

YADBNU! The other parent should have checked with you first, it's not their decision to make. I have allowed DS to watch films verified above his age, but only certain ones, and only while I'm there. I know my DS and I know what would scare him so base decisions on that. It's always something I've already watched so I am aware of the content.
The same applies to alcohol IMO. It should always be pre-agreed. I certainly wouldn't be letting younger teens drink alcopops as they're pretty grim. I do agree that alcohol should be de-mystified, but that's my decision to make, not another parents. Alcohol certainly shouldn't be seen as a treat or something naughty or forbidden. That just makes it more enticing, but a small glass of wine, perhaps diluted at a family dinner or gathering would be what I
would deem appropriate. I certainly wouldn't invite other children to my home and let them drink without asking their parents first.

This happened with my 9 year old watching a 12 at a sleepover recently. I wasn’t happy about it as we’ve not yet allowed him to watch any 12s, I wasn’t asked. I knew his friend and younger sister (age 5) have watched all the Harry Potter films, the later ones I think are way too scary, so I probably should have mentioned that we don’t allow them yet. This was the first ever sleepover.

When I was 11/12 and had sleepovers with my girlfriends we watched Nightmare on Elm Street (with my dad in the room, chortling).

I haven’t let any of mine yet however I think it would depend on the child and the movie.

Same with alcohol a shandy or winespritzer with a family meal every so often wouldn’t faze me nor would say one alcopop At 15 at a sleepover. Common children 14+ are watching and drinking maybe even smoking you just don’t know about it as they hide it. Think bad to your own teenage years.

Only movie that ever cave me nightmares was a pg 😂

My parents ran with the I’d rather know about it and you be safe then to find you in a ditch somewhere. When it came to drinking. It made alcohol rather boring to be honest. I’ve never fell over drunk and puked up from a club or woken up with a man I don’t remember meeting 🤷🏻‍♀️