to be abit peeved that DS age10 on sleepover -

[bamboowarrior]

was allowed to watch a 15cert film without the parent checking in with me first?

what age do you allow your kids to watch 12cert and 15cert and 18 cert films? wouldn't you, out of courtesy, check in with the parents first?

Thx so much for all your comments.

It's not the individual films per se - as some of you say there is huge variety within a certification range, and as I said the kids watched several 15 cert films over the night(!!!) It's the point that a parent was happy to show a 15 cert to a ten yr old without checking in - sleepover film choices with other friends have so far only ever focused on PG or 12, and even then there was a text dialogue to ensure agreement. We have some friends who only wish their children to PG or U at age 10,11 and it's important to respect those parenting choices. I didn't imagine a 15 would even be in the mix at this age or I would have mentioned it with the parent.

I can't believe the alchopop discussions - just seems so young to be offering booze!!! Whatever happened to lashings of ginger beer?!!!

Sootyandsweep I think londonjax would be relieved that her number be blocked and child not invited!!! Can't you see you are very weird with your attitude to alcohol and children. Are you one of those trying to be the cool parent?

There'd be "huge recrimations," if somebody gave my 14 year oldchild drugs, touched theirnleg under the table, dared them to shoplift of prank call 999....not if they gave them a glass of wine of WKD

You realise that alcohol is a drug, right?

@Sootyandsweep2019 - If I gave your 13 year old WKD, ( alongside food), at a sleepover; if subsequently you came ranting to me about huge recriminations the only recrimation would be your number would be blocked and your child wouldn't be invited again.

If you gave my 13 year old child alcohol you would have no need to block me as they would not be going anywhere near someone so irresponsible again. My dc have/had some friends that I would never allow a sleepover with as their parents are like you. I would always collect them if they were out with them. I wouldn't allow them go to parties in those houses either.

I have 3 dc, aged 16,18 and 21. Ds16 does not drink. Dd18 and ds21 both started drinking aged 16. I never encouraged it or provided alcohol. Both are moderate drinkers. Some of their friends' parents allowed alcohol consumption at parties but they only allowed it if a parent had ok'd it first and a very limited amount. My dc were allowed to parties in those houses as I trusted the parents.

The law here in Ireland is much more sensible. It is illegal to provide alcohol to an under 18 without their parents' permission. If someone here followed your lead, they could well end up with a prosecution.

How do you know your 16 year old doesn't tell you he drinks ? He could be getting absolutely wasted at a friend's house...but probably wouldn't tell you

10 year olds should not be watching 15 rated films at all. I can't believe how many parents are saying that it depends on the film. My 13yo has just been allowed to watch a limited selection of 15s. I also wouldn't let him have a party with alcohol.

Sootyandsweep I'm afraid I agree with others. If you gave my 13yo alcopops at a sleepover, that would be the last time my dc came to your house.

And I would be very cross if a parent showed my 10yo a 15 film. It's not their judgement to make.

@Sootyandsweep2019 - How do you know your 16 year old doesn't tell you he drinks?He could be getting absolutely wasted at a friend's house...but probably wouldn't tell you

That is why I always collect him. He only has one friend that he is interested in staying over with and his mother is a very good friend with similar parenting values. He's also pretty quiet, as are his friends. They are more likely to order pizza and play video games when they get together. My older two were more extrovert and more interested in parties and discos.

Both of my older children told me when they started drinking. They knew I didn't agree with it but would rather they told me. I have a very open relationship with all three but I am their parent, not their friend.

The other parents should’ve gotten permission from you. Period.

It could be worse ds saw Human Caterpillar on Netflix at a friends when he was 12 (torture porn where men and women are kidnapped, stripped naked, and sewn together mouth to arse and all the bodily functions when the first person in the Caterpillar is fed 🤮). It wasn't a sleepover as I didn't know the family, they were there early evening with 1/2 dozen other friends 12 yr old boys and girls.

That was a fun conversation to have with another parent, who was oblivious to what they had watched, I hadn't met before.

I would check film rateings with a parent on a sleepover, my 16 year old has been offered beer and wine at friends houses but I'd be pissed off about alcopops being offered, they are an awful choice to offer younger people to experience alcohol.

You not telling us the film then?

OP has said there was more than 1 shown

Were the parents even aware which films the children watched throughout the night?

Whatever the film was they should have asked you! As for giving alcohol to 13 year old guests, wtf??

Legal age for drinking in America is 21. Anyone providing alcohol to a minor child would be arrested and charged for “contributing to a minor”. You sound very irresponsible and defensive. If you provided any kind of alcohol or drug to my minor child or encouraged them to participate in any illegal activity, I would contact the authorities immediately. I’d also contact the other parents involved and alert them to your dangerous behavior. Your defensiveness sounds like you’ve got a guilty conscience. Blocking someone who calls you out for your irresponsible behavior is petty and childish and small. Wow

The properly constructed, longitudinal studies published in high-quality peer reviewed journals disagree with your experience. Given a choice between your experience and properly conducted research, I know which I would believe.

Bollocks. Prove it. As Sootyandsweep rightly says, the kids who are denied alcohol right up til they're 18 go off to university and try to prove themselves during Freshers' Week by drinking everything they can get their hands on.

A WKD or Bacardi Breezer has, what, 1.5 units? This is not going to get a 13 year old off their head. If anything, if they're at a sleepover, it's just going to make them a bit drowsy and get them off to sleep earlier.

I was luckier than the kids of all the wowsers on here; my parents appreciated alcohol existed and my mother was a barmaid who was happy to serve me in a pub by the time I was 16: she could keep an eye on me and be sensible, rather than having to worry I was off up a recreation ground with three bottles of White Lightning.

But some of you would prefer to clutch your pearls and pretend if you don't tell your kids about sex or alcohol they won't do it. You're storing up major problems for yourselves.

Legal age for drinking in America is 21. Anyone providing alcohol to a minor child would be arrested and charged for “contributing to a minor”.

The legal age for drinking the US is 21 for the sole reason that Ronald Reagan and the Evangelical Right blackmailed the states into it; if a state's drinking age was 18, that state was not entitled to millions of dollars of road-building funds.

It was a lousy law then and is a lousy law today. And what happens as a result? 18/19/20 year olds at university find illicit ways to source alcohol and then drink it like it's going out of fashion, resulting in 100s of "hazing" deaths and other sorts of alcohol-related deaths on college campuses each year. Instead of introducing kids to it gently and reasonably, it's this difficult-to-obtain illicit thing that must be guzzled whenever they can get their hands on it.

I've always loved sleepovers and never thought of myself as uptight, but really? There are people who are happy to give young children alcohol in their house at a sleepover?

And this is not outside my experience, my dd was offered an alcopop at a party when she was twelve. By sheer luck I was also there and able to explain to her why she shouldn't drink anything like that until she was a lot older.

@ADropofReality - Bollocks. Prove it.

The properly constructed, longitudinal studies published in high-quality peer reviewed journals HAVE proven it. Your and Sootyandsweep's opinions are simply that: opinions. You have some observations that support your opinion. Cognitive dissonance suggests we feel discomfort when presented with evidence contrary to our beliefs and try to explain it away to reduce the dissonance. I suspect this is what is going on with you both.

But some of you would prefer to clutch your pearls and pretend if you don't tell your kids about sex or alcohol they won't do it. You're storing up major problems for yourselves.

It would be highly irresponsible parenting not to discuss sex, drugs, alcohol, consent, porn, etc. with your children. I have two adult children and one nearly adult child. If I'm storing up problems, when should I expect to see them as they have not appeared to date?

Adropofreality- here is some reality for you, the drinking culture in the uk is horrendous. Any excuse holiday, sunny day, cold day, rainy day or just because there is a Y in the day have a drink!!! To the point that some people think it's normal and best to introduce alcohol at a young age ffs!!! How about teaching children that you can enjoy your life without intoducing alcohol.

I might be fairly relaxed about my own trying a bit of alcohol but I definitely wouldn't start giving it out to their friends! Likewise with films I know which ones mine can handle but would be much more conservative with other kids unless I'd asked their parents first.

Sooty why would there be serious recriminations if someone gave your 14 year old drugs, and yet you take issue with the idea of serious recriminations for giving a younger child alcohol, one of the most harmful drugs out there? Is that not incredibly hypocritical? Don’t get me wrong, I love a drink, just as I’ve loved many a drug, but I would think it beyond unreasonable to give someone else’s 13 year old one. Especially one as bad as an alcopop, expressly designed to disguise the taste and suck in teens!

Bollocks. Prove it.

"Early age of drinking onset is associated with an increased likelihood of developing alcohol abuse or dependence in adolescence and adulthood, and also dependence at a younger age. Vulnerability to alcohol abuse and dependence is greatest among young people who begin drinking before the age of 15."

Guidance on the consumption of alcohol by children and young people by Sir Liam Donaldson, Chief Medical Officer for England - see section 5.5 for a review of the relevant studies.

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Yes, the parent should have checked first. I have allowed my 10 year old watch the original Karate Kid film, which is a 15 rated film - but I wouldn't have let a friend's child watch it without checking.