to be abit peeved that DS age10 on sleepover -

[bamboowarrior]

was allowed to watch a 15cert film without the parent checking in with me first?

what age do you allow your kids to watch 12cert and 15cert and 18 cert films? wouldn't you, out of courtesy, check in with the parents first?

I think it’s the done thing to ask a parent first.

When I was a 10-12 years old I was allowed to watch 18’s, remember all those scary badly made horror films such as nightmare on elm street and Halloween? We used to pick the videos up at local jumble sales and boot sales 🤣

My dc’s have watched a few 15’s, I think it does depend on the film and it’s content, some are rated 15 due to swearing, some have sex scenes, others are because of blood and gore. I think some of the old war type films and real life stuff are fine but wouldn’t want my ten year old watching sex scenes.

sootyandsweep you have got toad joking, right?

You can't possibly think it's acceptable for 13 year olds to be drinking spirits.

I think DD saw Paul at 10, I didn't have a huge problem with that.

Those of you saying depends on the film :

Are you actually saying you are happy for another parent to make that choice, or would you want to decide yourself?

The issue in the OP is that she wasn't consulted.

And as for alcopos at 13. Words fail me.

Depends. On the film. And the child. Ds2 went with Ds1 to see the latest Avengers film? and that was fine with me.

But with a group party, at that age, I'd know all the mums anyway, so would probably check beforehand.

Alcohols at 13 definitely isn't the norm round here- more 15/16. I have a nearly 13 year old who considers energy drinks a treat.

I agree with most others, it depends on the film. I watched Stand By Me at this age which is a 15. The worst thing that happens is seeing a dead body near the end but it’s so obviously fake, it’s ridiculous .

my kids had sips from our glass of wine/ champagne once they were teens, but serving alcopops to 13 year old son a sleepover?
I'd be livid

Don’t think it would bother me, i’d trust the other parents judgement on whether the film was ok. It really does depend on the film too.

*Are you actually saying you are happy for another parent to make that choice, or would you want to decide yourself?w

Well yes because my ten year old wouldn't be staying over at the home of an adult whose judgement I don't trust.

Seriously, if your child is in the care of a trusted adult then that person really shouldn't need to keep checking in with you and tbh if any of my dcs friends parents expected it then I just wouldn't be willing to have them.

I have pre warned dd I will be 'that parent' if she gets offered alcohol.

Avengers is a 12a.

Stranger Things and It are rated 15. I would have allowed the former but not the latter when my kids were 10.

I wouldn’t be happy. That is largely shaped by me seeing A Nightmare On Elm Street at a friend’s house age 12. Her dad went to the video shop and got to our for her, I had no idea what it was. I was terrified, and stayed terrified at bedtime for months. Something that stayed with me was Freddy clawing his nails down a wooden headboard and coincidentally I had a wooden headboard at the time. I havent watched a horror film since and I am 43.

I think they should let you know but at the same time it depends for me if it's something like Hot Fuzz or Gremlins vs Paranormal Activity. The former I would be ok with.

As in, if asked I'd say yes.

Avengers wasn’t 15.
There is a big difference between 12a and 15.
I actually don’t care that much about language and scary stuff, but there is stuff on 15 movies that is not suitable for 10,11, 12 yr olds.

Alcopops are not ok for 13 year olds

Well the amount of spirit in an "alcopop," is minimal - and like I said, I was talking about 13 year old's having a glass of WKD , with adult supervision and food.

If they 'd been encouraged to drink spirits in any real sense of the word - shots of vodka, helping themselves to unlimited vodka and coke/ lemonade etc. I would have been very cross.

But I have found from experience children who are introduced to alcohol in an age appropriate manner have less problems longer term. When I was at uni; the Freshers who got absolutely wasted and brought strangers back were from the strictest households where they had no experience of drinking before.

I've let my dd watch a few films that were rated above her age, but have taken it very much film by film. I've always been much stricter with violent or potentially scary films than ones that had the rating for swearing or a bit of nudity (eg she watched Life of Brian when she was about 9 or 10 and that's currently rated a 12A, but was rated a 15 when we let her see it).

I'd be really unhappy if my dd had been shown a 15 film without my permission when she was only 10.

Sorry, re the avengers post I just made, I just meant that I allow Ds2 to see older films than his age. I didn't mean to be specific about whether that particular film was 12 or 15 or whatever. I'm sure Ds2 has seen a 15, and was unphased by it.

YANBU my child would not be going for another sleepover there. A 12 would be a stretch, 15 is ridiculous and the parents should have asked you first.

Both my DC are under the age of 12, they love a scary movie so we have watched certain 15 rated films as under that age, horrors are pants. They have seen IT, Stranger things, The Lost Boys, nothing seems to faze them. I am careful to check out the parental guides before hand. It’s the sex and drugs I watch out for. Swearing, meh, as long as they don’t swear, they are going to hear it elsewhere anyway.

OP you gonna tell us the film?

10 year old DS watches 12a's, he's never seen a 15.

15 year old DS has been seeing 15's since he was about 13/14 - within reason. I think some 15's are more hardcore than others!!

I'd be pretty unimpressed if my 10 year old had been shown a 15 without my knowledge. My youngest is particularly sensitive and some of them would scare him

Well yes because my ten year old wouldn't be staying over at the home of an adult whose judgement I don't trust.

But sometimes you think that you know parents reasonably well and that you are on a similar wavelength, and then they make a decision that you disagree with and wouldn't have expected. I remember my dd going to a friend's for a sleepover when she was at primary school and coming back the next day, telling me that she'd played Grand Theft Auto. I was really taken aback and we had quite a long conversation about why I wasn't happy with her playing that game.

I think that with children as young as 10, the host parents should err on the side of caution.

I might have allowed my own DC to watch older age films but wouldn't have made that decision for other parents.
As far as alcohol is concerned it would definitely be a no for under16s for me.