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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be abit peeved that DS age10 on sleepover -

230 replies

bamboowarrior · 09/06/2019 15:50

was allowed to watch a 15cert film without the parent checking in with me first?

what age do you allow your kids to watch 12cert and 15cert and 18 cert films? wouldn't you, out of courtesy, check in with the parents first?

OP posts:
herculepoirot2 · 09/06/2019 17:33

I wouldn’t be happy at all. If they were 12/13 I would say “judgment call”. They’re 10.

Missingstreetlife · 09/06/2019 17:36

do what you think is ok for your own kids, not for others whose parents aren't there. Sleepovers are so nasty, really can't see the point

Isthisafreename · 09/06/2019 17:37

@Sootyandsweep2019 - But I have found from experience children who are introduced to alcohol in an age appropriate manner have less problems longer term

The properly constructed, longitudinal studies published in high-quality peer reviewed journals disagree with your experience.

Given a choice between your experience and properly conducted research, I know which I would believe.

Skyejuly · 09/06/2019 17:39

Alcopops is that for real?

Xmas2020 · 09/06/2019 17:42

Perhaps you should of specified to the other parents what your DD was not allowed to do, tbh i think your nitpicking and trying to think of an excuse to ruin their friendship. A film with a 15 rating is hardly going to cause your DD any distress. Just be honest.

FangsTasticBeast · 09/06/2019 17:44

Turns out one of the very nice mums of ds1s friends was goving them all weed at 14

I never would have suspected anyone would be that stupid

Mine watch all sorts and it would depend on the film as to if I’d be bothered by this or not

I wouldn’t show a 15 to other people’s dc without consulting them though

Walkingdeadfangirl · 09/06/2019 17:44

Totally depends on what the film is. Something like Ferris Bueller's Day Off (rating 15) is perfectly fine for a 10 yo to watch imo.

A 15 rated horror film I would be more concerned.

If your happy to trust a parent with the care of your child over night then surly you are trusting their judgement as to what they eat, watch and play with during that time.

BlackCatsRock · 09/06/2019 17:44

@Missingstreetlife
Why do you think sleepovers are nasty?

teyem · 09/06/2019 17:45

Spider man venom was a 15. It was a 13 advisory in the USA which I think means younger kids can go in with parents. I think I'd be ok with my kids watching that for instance.

As an aside, there's nothing civilised about WKD 🤮

TeenTimesTwo · 09/06/2019 17:46

Xmas2020 Honestly?

So for a 10yo what would you need to specify?

  • no 12 films
  • no 15 or 18 films
  • no alcohol
  • no sex
  • no wandering around the local woods at midnight
  • expecting a parent to be home overnight
FancyAPint · 09/06/2019 17:46

Op loads of people have asked you what the film was, cold you anser please? Grin

FancyAPint · 09/06/2019 17:47

apologies for typos!

TrixieFranklin · 09/06/2019 17:50

Are you going to tell us what any of the films are or..?

Aragog · 09/06/2019 17:52

Would you expect to be consulted on:

Bedtimes
Sweets
Mobile phone/ laptop use
TV programmes
Breakfast
Showers/ baths

No, but these are VERY different to be than allowing 10y to watch 15 cert films. The above don't have official age guidelines to start with. I'd also apply the 'need to know' type thing to 15 cert computer games, and definitely to alcohol. I would expect to be asked about alcohol until they were around 16y tbh.

A film with a 15 rating is hardly going to cause your DD any distress

Of course it could! Some 15 rated films ARE disturbing. They have an age rating for a reason. There are a number of 15 rated films I choose not to watch as I know they'd cause be some level of distress, let alone a 10 year old primary school aged child!!

Whatsforu · 09/06/2019 17:52

Sootyandsweep are you for real giving alcopops at 13??? Why are kids of 13 needing alcohol ffs!!! How about setting the example that you don't need to consume alcohol to enjoy a party??

herculepoirot2 · 09/06/2019 18:10

Sootyandsweep2019

Within reason you are. You’re not consenting to things that are signposted as inappropriate by things like age ratings.

user1480880826 · 09/06/2019 18:13

You have got to be winding us up @Sootyandsweep2019?! Alcopops for a 13 year old are totally inappropriate. The whole point of alcopops are to disguise the taste of the alcohol. Would you also give them a vodka coke? Would you put a shot of whisky in their cereal? Honestly, where do you draw the line?

And you then go on to say you don’t buy fizzy drinks. Can’t you see the massive contradiction here?

You’re argument that your introducing alcohol in a controlled argument is garbage and the evidence supports this. I expect you’ve heard about children in the continent not having alcohol problems like we do in the uk because they are given alcohol from a younger age. But this is a small glass of wine with a meal, not a sugary alcopop at a party. You’re giving kids something they will find delicious and something they will want more of. You are incredibly irresponsible.

Maldives2006 · 09/06/2019 18:22

Sooty and Sweep there is exactly the same amount of alcohol in a WKD as a single spirit and mixer!!

RedSkyLastNight · 09/06/2019 18:24

It doesn't depends on the film! If the film were suitable for an "average" 10 year old, then it would not be rated 15.

OP, I think you are absolutely correct-the only times this might be acceptable is if the film were abridged or they didn't see all of it, so the bit they saw was approproirate for younger children.

I would suggest that even showing a 12 without checking first is inappropriate, and there are plenty if 12s that most 10 year olds would be fine with.

SweetpeaMidnight · 09/06/2019 18:25

I had to take my 10yo out of detective pikachu the other day. And a 15 is a big jump for a 10yo. Some are just not as mature as others, it's not another parents call to make.

alittleprivacy · 09/06/2019 18:26

Those of you saying depends on the film : Are you actually saying you are happy for another parent to make that choice, or would you want to decide yourself?

I’d say it depends on the film because it’s 2019 and media distribution is no longer of a sort where film age classification is not something that people really think about. We all have access to enough media information to know what a film is about in advance. I wouldn’t imagine anyone pays attention to something as obsolete as film age classification anymore. It’s not the 90s.

Lazypuppy · 09/06/2019 18:28

OP the fact you won't tell us the films makes me think they are soft 15s that are maybe closer to 12s

fecketyfeck21 · 09/06/2019 18:32

said film may seem tame to other readers and perhaps that's why op won't say.
films from years ago had higher ratings that now would be lower, perhaps it was something like that ?

Sootyandsweep2019 · 09/06/2019 18:32

There may be the same alcohol in a "pub," spirit and mixer and a WKD; but teenagers are unlikely to be pouring a spirit and mixer to trading standards measurements. And of course I wouldn't let a bunch of thirteen year olds loose with a bottle of vodka.....I just said one or two Alcopops, over the course of an evening, with food and close adult supervision seems a good introduction to alcohol to me.

Sootyandsweep2019 · 09/06/2019 18:35

And I'm sorry; but who were Alcopops designed for if not teenagers Hmm I don't know anybody over the age of 18 who drinks them