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AIBU?

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Original poster

to be abit peeved that DS age10 on sleepover -

230 replies

bamboowarrior · 09/06/2019 15:50

was allowed to watch a 15cert film without the parent checking in with me first?

what age do you allow your kids to watch 12cert and 15cert and 18 cert films? wouldn't you, out of courtesy, check in with the parents first?

OP posts:
BlackCatsRock · 09/06/2019 16:49

I cannot comprehend why anyone thinks it's acceptable to let a child under 12 (or under 15 for that matter) watch IT.

Nottheduchess · 09/06/2019 16:49

What film was it OP? There is a vast difference in films of that age category. Some are given a 15 rating because they’ve added one too many f words and some are closer to the 18 rating with all sorts going on. The Breakfast club is an 18 rating, but I’d definitely let my 16 yo watch it.

Shequakes · 09/06/2019 16:52

OP not going to say what film?

TeenTimesTwo · 09/06/2019 16:57

It doesn't matter what film though.

Unless there has been prior discussion whereby the OP had said 'I don't mind what ratings films are, I'll trust your judgement' then it is not down to the other parent to let a child in their care watch a 15 rated film when they are only 10.

How many of you would decide that your judgement was better than the other parent for their child ? It is fine for you to decide for your own child, but not mine.

Nottheduchess · 09/06/2019 16:59

Blackcats why? It’s just a scary movie. No drugs, sex or nudity. It’s a made up horror film. Not even that scary really, a bit silly. Some children get scared at horror movies, mine don’t.

4legsandawaggytail · 09/06/2019 17:00

YANBU that would be the last sleepover at that house if it was my child. The comments also enlighten me as to how relaxed some people parent. Films have always been strict in our house.

ElizaPancakes · 09/06/2019 17:01

@Nottheduchess - because as you said - your children might not get scared, a lot will Confused. My ten year olds would, and I’m generally quite lax on things like this - for example, all the marvel films have been watched over the years by my kids.

number1wang · 09/06/2019 17:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RebootYourEngine · 09/06/2019 17:04

Depending on the film I might let a 10 year old watch a 12 or 15 but the difference is that I would make the decision for my own child no one else.

vintanner · 09/06/2019 17:07

Certification on films is there for a reason, those of you who say it depends on the film do you think the same when driving, depends on the road if you decide to keep to the speed limit or not?

Letting a child have alcohol is definitely the decision of the parents of the child, no-one else.

I would never dream of giving any to someone else's child and I would be fuming if I found out my child had been given some.

Nottheduchess · 09/06/2019 17:09

eliza I’m just talking about my children though, I wouldn’t allow their friends to watch it. I’m just saying that ratings are a guide really. Watership down was a U, it upset me for a long while afterwards. I watched Aliens (without parents knowing) when I was 12, it was scary but I loved it. I just don’t see how people can dismiss a movie for its rating without even knowing what that movie is.

Shoppingwithmother · 09/06/2019 17:09

I think Alcopops are the worst thing to give children to drink - after all you don’t really want them to drink loads of alcohol and get really drunk, which is easy if it tastes like pop.

I’d far rather they tried some beer, which they probably wouldn’t like anyway and wouldn’t want to drink enough to get drunk.

That doesn’t mean I think people should be giving other people’s 13 year olds beer when they come round though!

crummyusername · 09/06/2019 17:09

I find these website reviews useful, they are very specific about which scenes may be problematic

www.commonsensemedia.org/reviews

Nottheduchess · 09/06/2019 17:13

vintanner road speeds are Law, Age ratings aren’t Law. I’m not breaking the law by letting a 10yo watch a 12. That’s like comparing apples and cars.

User10fuckingmillion · 09/06/2019 17:16

To those shocked about 13 year olds and alcopops- my 14 year old DB has been to parties and had much worse then that, and come back drunk. I massively disagree with this, but evidently lots of parents think it’s fine (including mine, who are very nonchalant about it!).
I don’t think the vast majority of 15s are appropriate for 10 year olds, either.

Sobeyondthehills · 09/06/2019 17:17

To those who think it's ok, please can you name the 15 rated films that you think are appropriate for a 10 year old to be watching?

Mega Piranha, Sharknado.

But also it depends on the 10 year old

User10fuckingmillion · 09/06/2019 17:18

^but then, I have seen lots of Us and PGs and 12as that have left me traumatised

Wheresthebeach · 09/06/2019 17:20

I wouldn’t have been happy and I would have expected a conversation to check.

Aragog · 09/06/2019 17:21

A 12 I'd have no issue with at all generally. By 10y most children are watching 12 cert films aren't they? A 12 cert film at the cinema doesn't mean that younger children can't see them after all.

I think a 15 is different and agree that you should always get the permission from the parents before showing other young children such a film. Yes, I did allow dd to watch some 15 films before she was 15 - but we choose which we were deemed suitable. I'm not sure she saw any at just 10 though.

Belenus · 09/06/2019 17:25

I don't really see the issue with 13 year Old's having a glass of WKD/ Bacardi breezer at a sleepover under parental supervision :s

A bottle of WKD is 1 unit of alcohol. Bacardi Breezer is usually 1.5. They're designed to be sweet and go down easily. I've got thoroughly drunk on WKD in my early 20s because it is deceptive. It is the last thing I would give to a young teenager. My parents let me drink wine from the age of about 12 but it generally was a small glass, often watered down. It tasted of alcohol and I knew not to drink to much of it. Alcopops are known to be problematic because the alcohol in them is disguised.

And with alcohol and films generally I'd say the decision you make with your child is not the decision you make with other people's children. Avoid films where the classification is too old and just don't give them alcohol. They don't need it and it's not your call to make.

Original poster
bamboowarrior · 09/06/2019 17:25

Thx for all your comments, shows that we all set different boundaries for our kids - so challenging to decide film certifications for which ages and when to consult other parents

they watched afew films (!!!) and it's not the films themselves, it's more the fact they didn't text me to check- I would have been fine with a 12, although at home we strictly monitor the 12s he watches, but am in disbelief that they allowed 15 certs without checking first.

OP posts:
spongebunnyfatpants · 09/06/2019 17:25

Yanbu.
It doesn't matter what the film is, if it's certificate 15 then it's classed as that for a reason.
I had the same thing with my child on a sleep over the other month, but this was an 18 +.
My child was terrified, when I spoke to the parents they took no responsibility for it at all. Stating it was the kids fault for watching it! I honestly would not have expected of them and thought my child would be safe in their care.
I was fuming, needless to say, he won't be going again.
You have every right to be angry.

Aragog · 09/06/2019 17:29

I wouldn't have served alcohols, or any alcohol, at a 13y birthday celebrations either. I did allow dd some alcohol at that age - a small glass of fizz at a special occasion for example. Infact alcohol has only really started making an appearance at her friends parties in the last year or so - lower sixth, and to a very small extent the end of year 11, after the exams. We do now allow alcohol if dd has friends here for a night in but we would prefer to oversee what's being drank and, depending not he event, provide it - beer, cider wine, fizz - and have told dd I don't want friends drinking spirits at our house. Fortunately at present dd doesn't like spirits so, although I know she's tried vodka at a friends, it isn't something she would actually have a proper drink of.

And she is 17y NOT 13.

BlackCatsRock · 09/06/2019 17:31

@Nottheduchess
I guess I just have a different interpretation of the film IT to you!

Out of interest, what would be the youngest age that you'd let your children watch it?

Sootyandsweep2019 · 09/06/2019 17:33

Just another thought on this though - if you agree to send your child to another child's house for a sleepover, surely you are de facto delegating most minor parental decisions such as what film to watch to the other parents anyway. I never buy fizzy drinks but wouldn't be annoyed if another family gave out coke/Fanta/ lemonade at a sleepover.

I mean surely children need to understand different houses have different rules,( as long as they are ultimately kept safe).

Would you expect to be consulted on:

Bedtimes
Sweets
Mobile phone/ laptop use
TV programmes
Breakfast
Showers/ baths

Even if the family rules might be different to those we have at home. I wouldn't have a bedroom TV for under 13's; but my child would go to very few sleepovers if I demanded they weren't allowed to watch telly in their friends bedrooms