Transgender relative, don't know where to start...

[NameChangerAmI]

Deliberately haven't posted in feminism, and don't want any haters, please.

Someone in my family (we are quite close, I love this person very much,) is trans (male to female transition).

We were having a conversation the other week, in which it was stated, as a fact, that this person has always been a girl/woman, and was just born in the wrong body.

I don't agree that either this person has ever been a "girl/woman" or ever will be a woman. I respect diversity more than many, but really wanted to say, "transwoman, not woman," but just felt that it was too controversial and goady.

I'm not very up to date with all trans issues and terminology. I think if I disagree about anything else, we would have a reasoned discussion and agree to disagree, but I know from previous comments and discussions that if I state my case, I'll be seen as wrong, not understanding, being ignorant, etc, and the problem will lie with me.

Not sure what I'm asking, but wanted to hear wide ranging views.

Would you just let it go, or approach it next time this issue comes up in conversation?

QuiFaitCa

Twin studies show that transgenderism is not innate.

Otherwise all single twins who transition, would transition with their twin. They don't.

Some do though, which leads me to think it is society/environment.

I am reminded of one of my first online conversations with a transwoman. On here, actually, several years ago.

After being pressed, they said that they could be more 'vibrant' as a woman.

Its bloody awful that people want vibrancy to be restricted to women.

By single twin I take it you mean mean non-identical?

I might be missing something , but I don't think the twin thing proves anything, does it?

I'm missing something, aren't I?

Datun I find that bizarre and a shame

• I know plenty of vibrant men and plenty of not so vibrant women.

I wonder why that trans woman felt and thought that? Did she explain further?

Maybe because living as a male person, she felt she had to suppress a part of herself, which made her feel more self conscious?

NameChangerAmI

No, sorry I meant the single twin of identical twins. I don't think the study would work or be significant if they weren't identical.

I wonder why that trans woman felt and thought that? Did she explain further?

It was at least three years ago, I believe. One of the first transwomen to actually engage on here.

In hindsight, I believe they were a late transitioner, so more likely AGP, rather than HSTS. I believe they had been married and had a couple of kids.

I don't remember them explaining. Soon after the I feel more vibrant as a woman comment, they stopped engaging. It was a really long thread, and that came right at the end.

It was as though they knew that was a stereotype, but after being pressed just came out and said it, despite it underminding their argument.

I don't think it's difficult to understand. Restrictive gender stereotypes are just that.

Like that transwoman who says they just want to blush, be cutesy and show up as a 'hot mess with a book' in a coffee shop.

Whatever it is, it's not being a woman. And it wouldn't matter so much, if being a woman wasn't bloody difficult and fatally oppressive, at times.

I don't know what's been done for transgender studies but often how twin studies are done is comparing same sex non identical twins to identical twins. So then both sets have very well matched environment, but the identical ones have more genetics in common. If the factor you're studying is genetically influenced you'd expect to see more similarities between identical than non identical twins. If it's 100% genetic all the identical twins should match.
Just studying identical twins on their own doesn't tell you much because so many of their environment factors also match.